Tales From Patwoman’s Mailbag

We haven’t done this in a while, so I thought I’d open up the ol’ mailbag and answer some of your burning questions.

Dear Patwoman,
Have you been back to the LYS that just opened near your house? That seems like a great opportunity for you.

Gentle Reader,
Sadly, I haven’t. It’s really a combination of things. I have been crazy busy recruiting for DrugCo as you know, and then I spend my evenings trying to finish up my book manuscript (which is already so far behind deadline I’m about to have a brain hemorrhage over it). So, that’s kept me away, somewhat. The other reason is when I met the LYS owner, an exceedingly nice person I must say, she asked what I knitted and I said “Anything but socks and dishcloths.” (Because, Gentle Readers, as you know, I don’t enjoy socks or cotton yarn at all.) Being the nice person she is, she friended me on Ravelry and I promptly set about cyberstalking her to find out what she was like. And guess what are her favorite things to knit? (So embarrassed.)

Dear Patwoman,
Where will you be when the Zombie Apocalypse begins?

Gentle Reader,
Feel free to join me in the Arctic Circle. You know that normally I fear the lawlessness of the Isolated North, but in this case, I’m willing to trade that for the relative safety of dead flesh not being able to locomote much when it is frozen solid. You may also join me as I double tap each of those zombie-popsicles so we don’t have to worry about a sudden thaw.

Dear Patwoman,
You haven’t talked about Adam West in a while. Did the two of you break up?

Gentle Reader,
No. You know Adam West and I will never break up. But, like all relationships, we go through periods of activity and quiet. It’s not unusual for a couple—especially one on the DL, like me and Adam—to burn hot for a while and then cool off. And that’s been the case with Adam and I—we have been burning so hot, we just don’t have time to talk about it! Holy Utility Belt, have we been hot!

Dear Patwoman,
Any progress on procuring a robot companion?

Gentle Reader,
Not as much as I would like.

Dear Patwoman,
I notice sometimes you write forever about nothing, and other times you barely say a word on a subject. It seems like, the more someone might be interested in something, the less you say. Why do you do that?

Gentle Reader,
I don’t know.