What Has Patwoman Been Up To?

Lots o’ stuff. The main thing is pain.
Had to go to the dentist for a new crown. Now, I’m not one of those people who freak out over a trip to the dentist. Actually, my main heartburn over this was that I had to use half a vacation day to go do it. But, let me tell you, this was not a joy ride.

First of all, I broke the root of this stupid tooth (the root, the part that is protected by the crown, my gums, and my jaw bone) biting on something not hard. I can’t remember exactly what it was, but it was like a piece of bread or something soft. Not like a jawbreaker or a rock or anything. So I totally did not deserve to break the root.

Anyway, no root in the tooth, so the tooth doesn’t hurt, but the gums and jaw do. So I was getting headaches that were not making me very nice as a person. (Yeah, it was the headaches… that’s it.) But then, when you go and have them re-post and cement and re-do the crown… It just makes you feel like Michael Flatley did the Riverdance in your mouth.

Ha. That’s an interesting mental image.

But wait, there’s more! As I am getting ready to leave for the dentist, M comes to say goodbye. And trips. And falls. Against the solid oak dining table. With her face! OMG. Do you know how you watch those action movies and they karate chop the bad guy right under the nose and it breaks the bone and drives bone splinters into the bad guy’s brain and kills him?

That’s where the table bashed her.

Oh, sweet God. I thought my heart had stopped. Seriously. So we took her to the ER for scans and all. And she is ok. Did not break any bones or knock out any teeth—but miraculously so, according to all medical personnel who examined her. And no bone shards to the brain.

But now I feel so irrationally angry at my dining room table.