If you're not knitting, the terrorists win

(My mostly on-topic ramblings about knitting. And life in general. My life in specific.)

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Location: Indiana, United States

I'm a middle aged mother of 2 grown children and wife to a man who doesn't seem to mind my almost heroin-like yarn addiction. I spend my time writing, knitting, and generally stressing out.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Patwoman Has Lost Her Marbles Needles

I should probably just change the name of my blog to Patwoman Can't Find Her DPNs, it happens so often. Why are those things so damned hard to keep track of? Seriously. I have one place that I put them. Why are they not there?

All my DPNs are in a single ziploc-style bag, which I put in my zipped cloth needle case. That's where they should be when I look for them, right?

So why is it that every time I need a set of DPNs, they are not there? Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Have you been sleepwalking again, Patwoman? Yes? Mystery solved."

To you, I say, ppppppbbbbbbbllllllttttt!

It doesn't take the team from Without A Trace to figure that out. What I really want to know is where are they?

Oh wait... I just thought of something. What if Michael's has sent a team of ninjas into my house at night to take my DPNs, knowing that I will eventually break down and go buy some more? They know I've got a 40% off coupon just burning a hole in my iPhone app.

And well, sure. Of course, that wouldn't be cost effective for Michael's to have to hire a team of ninjas just so I could go and buy an $8 set of needles at 40% (so $4.80 + tax). I mean, one ninja alone would command a greater fee than that, right?

But what if the ninja were doing it for exercise? Like, if this particular ninja was maybe underworked and a little out of practice (because, you know, times are tough for everybody)and he just wanted to break into houses and steal small things to "sharpen the saw" a bit? That could happen.

Or maybe he was a chaotic ninja? Who got kicked out of his ninja guild for being chaotic so he had to go freelance and take whatever crappy-paying ninja jobs were available, even if the pay didn't completely cover his expenses? That could happen.

Or maybe he just loves knitting needles? That's why he ninjas his way into knitters' houses and takes only their knitting needles. Back at his ninja hideout, he's got piles and piles of needles. And every night, he adds a few more. Dirty ninja! I can just imagine him, rolling around on his treasure trove of needles like Smaug in the depths of Erebor!

Or, wait... What if the ninja only took my knitting needles? And not because he loved needles. But because he hates me?

OMG! That is so unfair! What have I ever done to ninjas?!


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