Is This Funny? I'm Gonna Say Yes.
Okay. Those who know me (or read this blog) know that there are two ways I like my comedy… painful or hurtful. It’s a rare and beautiful thing when you can combine both.
But, I’m walking down the street at lunch today, past this restaurant. And this rather large woman is down on the sidewalk on her hands and knees, scraping up gum off the concrete with a putty knife. (No, I didn’t laugh. What kind of a person do you think I am?)
But I did think to myself “Who did she piss off to get assigned to Sidewalk Gum Detail?” What kind of an asshole makes someone do that? I mean, that’s a pretty evil punishment, wouldn’t you say?
Gum Lady: How come I have to work Saturday? I hate working Saturday! Why doesn’t Jennifer ever have to work Saturday? Do you even know how to make out a schedule? Didn’t they teach you that in Manager Orientation?
Manger: It’s your turn to work Saturday. Oh, and look! It’s also your turn to take gum duty.
Gum Lady: What? Why? Because I don’t want to work Saturday? You gotta be kidding me!
Manager: No, this is something totally separate. It’s just your turn.
Gum Lady: It was my turn the last 3 times. Let Jennifer clean the damn gum off the sidewalk.
Manager: Sorry. It’s your turn. Says so right here.
Gum Lady: You suck.
Anyway, people were walking by her—either without looking at her, or looking at her all annoyed for having to be on the sidewalk, scraping up ABC gum. Like, she chose to be doing this. (“Can I be on gum duty? Please? Pretty please?”)
Here’s the funny part. (Well, funnier. As horribly offensive as that scene is, there is actually some visual comedy to a lady her size bending down to do such a stupid, superficial task.)
As I walk back this way, the Gum Lady has 1)gotten tired of being on her hands and knees, 2)gotten tired of people practically stepping on her, or 3)gotten pretty tired of the whole damn situation and the condescending bastard who sent her out to scrape gum in the first place.
She’s still scraping gum, but now her giant butt is pressed up against the dining room window glass, dragging back and forth, back and forth, with every scraping motion of her arms. I can see the snooty clientele inside, pretending not to notice this ass as it moves along the length of the sidewalk—a not-so-subtle message to her manager and everyone like him.
At that point, I did laugh. I couldn’t help it. And you know what? Gum lady looked up at me and smiled. She knew exactly what she was doing.
Oh yeah. Power to the people, bitches.
But, I’m walking down the street at lunch today, past this restaurant. And this rather large woman is down on the sidewalk on her hands and knees, scraping up gum off the concrete with a putty knife. (No, I didn’t laugh. What kind of a person do you think I am?)
But I did think to myself “Who did she piss off to get assigned to Sidewalk Gum Detail?” What kind of an asshole makes someone do that? I mean, that’s a pretty evil punishment, wouldn’t you say?
Gum Lady: How come I have to work Saturday? I hate working Saturday! Why doesn’t Jennifer ever have to work Saturday? Do you even know how to make out a schedule? Didn’t they teach you that in Manager Orientation?
Manger: It’s your turn to work Saturday. Oh, and look! It’s also your turn to take gum duty.
Gum Lady: What? Why? Because I don’t want to work Saturday? You gotta be kidding me!
Manager: No, this is something totally separate. It’s just your turn.
Gum Lady: It was my turn the last 3 times. Let Jennifer clean the damn gum off the sidewalk.
Manager: Sorry. It’s your turn. Says so right here.
Gum Lady: You suck.
Anyway, people were walking by her—either without looking at her, or looking at her all annoyed for having to be on the sidewalk, scraping up ABC gum. Like, she chose to be doing this. (“Can I be on gum duty? Please? Pretty please?”)
Here’s the funny part. (Well, funnier. As horribly offensive as that scene is, there is actually some visual comedy to a lady her size bending down to do such a stupid, superficial task.)
As I walk back this way, the Gum Lady has 1)gotten tired of being on her hands and knees, 2)gotten tired of people practically stepping on her, or 3)gotten pretty tired of the whole damn situation and the condescending bastard who sent her out to scrape gum in the first place.
She’s still scraping gum, but now her giant butt is pressed up against the dining room window glass, dragging back and forth, back and forth, with every scraping motion of her arms. I can see the snooty clientele inside, pretending not to notice this ass as it moves along the length of the sidewalk—a not-so-subtle message to her manager and everyone like him.
At that point, I did laugh. I couldn’t help it. And you know what? Gum lady looked up at me and smiled. She knew exactly what she was doing.
Oh yeah. Power to the people, bitches.
posted by Patwoman | 6:11 PM
1 Comments:
oh em gee...
That is funny.
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