I’m Tired Of Stupid Questions

And usually, mind you, I love stupid people (as long as they’re at least amusing). T and I disagree on this point.

You’ve seen that heinous time-sucking social site Facebook quiz… 5 People I’d Like To Punch In The Face, or its fraternal twin, 5 People I Hate. Almost everyone puts Stupid People in their 5. Stupid people, listen. I’m not hatin’. I actually like stupid people (like I said, of course, as long as they are amusing. Stupid boring people are something else entirely). I don’t like incompetent people. Or people who choose ignorance. And that’s where T & I disagree.

But, I digress.

As amusing as stupid people are (and don’t I love to see someone try and figure out which end of something to hold!), stupid questions are annoying. Here’s my Top 5 Stupid Questions:

1) ”Can I ask you a question?” I always say no, by the way, but then they always laugh and ask anyway. So what was the point in asking in the first place? Not politeness, since you’re not respecting my wishes after I say no.

2) Any question that just repeats what I just told you. For example, “I’m so tired today.” “Are you?” No, not really. I just said that because it’s Opposite Day. By the way, those jeans are very flattering on you.

3) “But how do you really feel?” When it’s used as a not-so-funny response to a harsh comment I’ve made. (This question is stupid because it could lead to violence. Against you. By me.)

4) “Is Pat there?” Look, I answer my work phone with my name. I answer my cell phone with my name. I answer our store’s phone with my name. You’ve got my name in the very first sentence. And you respond with “Is Pat there?” What? Some other Pat?

5) “Is this to go?” Dude, I just walked up to the counter by myself and ordered 6 Five Dollar Footlongs. What do you think?