Clocks, Cats, And Sweet, Sweet Revenge

So, did you know the Doomsday Clock is an actual clock? I always thought it was a metaphor. (What’s a metaphor? It’s for the cows to graze in. But seriously, folks…) Okay, yes, it’s a metaphor, but it’s also a clock you can see.

I just learned that.

And today, at 10:00 am EST, the New York Academy of Sciences is going to make an announcement and you can actually see whether the hands of the clock go forward or back. We’re at five minutes until midnight, btw, right now.

Not that I believe that. We all know, according to Gene Roddenberry, the Earth will make contact with others outside of our galaxy in 2060, and this will initiate a period of peace and prosperity, in which friendly aliens share knowledge and technology with us and basically mentor us into a greater society. So, I doubt we’re any closer to midnight. We all know TV never lies.

Speaking of TV, I have been watching the Life After People series on the History Channel. It’s interesting, if a tad sensational. I’d like to know, for instance, why a major city like Chicago is basically burned to the ground within a week of people being gone. And why are there so many tidal waves and earthquakes right after the people disappear? It’s not like humans have any effect on that.

Anyway, the other night’s episode touched on the Vatican. Apparently, only a week after all the people on earth are gone (as wolves attack flocks of sheep elsewhere in the world and zoo animals everywhere all escape for some reason…makes you wonder why they don’t do that now, if it only takes them a week to figure out the locking mechanisms, hm?) the Vatican is going to be overrun with black cats.

What irony, considering how the Church has treated felines in the past. Pope Innocent VIII actually outlawed black cats, convinced they were demonic minions. The Inquisition often burned cats with their owners. (Apparently, if they cry out while they are being burned, they're demonic.) And Vatican City sanctioned several cat-kills over the centuries.

I imagine the cats, with the patience of the ages, just sitting back and biding their time, waiting for the humans to destroy themselves so they can take over. And, when all the humans have mysteriously left the earth, the very first place the Cat Consortium turns to is…? Mm. Hm. That’s right. That’s what you get.

Oh, sweet justice.