Patwoman Does Not Want The Flu... Again
Everyone is talking about the flu. It’s supposed to be pretty virulent and particularly nasty this season. And, according to CNN, it’s at epidemic stage in 41 states.
I’m not exactly sure what epidemic stage means, really. I assume it means you have pretty slim chance of not being exposed to it. And that it’s pretty bad. I mean, you don’t hear about an epidemic of puny viruses, right? Virusi? Virusae? I can’t remember my Latin well enough to properly pluralize that word. Sorry.
I can attest to how bad it is. I actually had the flu over the holidays. Kicked my ass. Let me say that again for emphasis: Kicked my ass. Like Captain Trips kicked my ass. According to CNN, people actually die from this flu, Believe me, it’s because they want to die.
And we’ve got a really three really big weekends coming up, starting this weekend. I’m going to come into contact with about a thousand different people from all over the place. So I’m guessing I’m gonna be exposed. Luckily, I've stocked up on hand sanitizer.
But all this has made me think about pandemics. Well, at least the pandemics in literature and movies. I'm pretty sure real-life pandemics have only been responsible for sickness and death.
Fictional pandemics are worse, am I right? I mean, It’s always some virus that starts the zombiepocalypse, always some level 5 outbreak that some jackwad takes with him on the international plane trip. And, when you get right down to it, isn't is a virus of some sort that causes the machines to gain sentience and create terminating robot killers?
At any rate, I think we can agree pandemics are always bad.
Now, what would be worse than a flu pandemic would be an ebola pandemic. That’s some serious disease there, my friends. I remember when I first read that book, Outbreak. It freaked me out every time someone coughed. “Cover your mouth, you pox-ridden filth spreader!”
I don’t know why people stopped inviting me out.
Edited to add: I looked it up. The plural of virus is virusi or virusii if you are sticking to the Latin. But if you are an American, you just say viruses.
I’m not exactly sure what epidemic stage means, really. I assume it means you have pretty slim chance of not being exposed to it. And that it’s pretty bad. I mean, you don’t hear about an epidemic of puny viruses, right? Virusi? Virusae? I can’t remember my Latin well enough to properly pluralize that word. Sorry.
I can attest to how bad it is. I actually had the flu over the holidays. Kicked my ass. Let me say that again for emphasis: Kicked my ass. Like Captain Trips kicked my ass. According to CNN, people actually die from this flu, Believe me, it’s because they want to die.
And we’ve got a really three really big weekends coming up, starting this weekend. I’m going to come into contact with about a thousand different people from all over the place. So I’m guessing I’m gonna be exposed. Luckily, I've stocked up on hand sanitizer.
But all this has made me think about pandemics. Well, at least the pandemics in literature and movies. I'm pretty sure real-life pandemics have only been responsible for sickness and death.
Fictional pandemics are worse, am I right? I mean, It’s always some virus that starts the zombiepocalypse, always some level 5 outbreak that some jackwad takes with him on the international plane trip. And, when you get right down to it, isn't is a virus of some sort that causes the machines to gain sentience and create terminating robot killers?
At any rate, I think we can agree pandemics are always bad.
Now, what would be worse than a flu pandemic would be an ebola pandemic. That’s some serious disease there, my friends. I remember when I first read that book, Outbreak. It freaked me out every time someone coughed. “Cover your mouth, you pox-ridden filth spreader!”
I don’t know why people stopped inviting me out.
Edited to add: I looked it up. The plural of virus is virusi or virusii if you are sticking to the Latin. But if you are an American, you just say viruses.
posted by Patwoman | 10:00 PM
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