If you're not knitting, the terrorists win

(My mostly on-topic ramblings about knitting. And life in general. My life in specific.)

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Location: Indiana, United States

I'm a middle aged mother of 2 grown children and wife to a man who doesn't seem to mind my almost heroin-like yarn addiction. I spend my time writing, knitting, and generally stressing out.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

What To Do In Case Of Zombiepocalypse

I know I've talked about this on several occasions, but I was just thinking about it again today. (Wow. That really speaks ill of my brain, doesn't it?) The folks on The Walking Dead are just stupid.

Now, I'll grant you this whole Zombiepocalypse took them by surprise, so they weren't prepared for it--physically, mentally, emotionally, any -ly. And I imagine there is quite a bit of shock involved. And panic. And depression. And fear.

But, they've been doing this for what? Two years in show time? I would think they'd be a little better at this by now. I know I would be.

For one thing, I wouldn't be roaming around the country. I'd find a place and fortify. Like a tall building. A high rise apartment building. Sure, that place is going to be filthy with zombies, but this is the proverbial eating of the elephant. One bite at a time, people.

Bleh. Tell me I didn't just liken clearing a building of zombies to eating an elephant. (Which is worse?)

Anyway, you clear the building one floor at a time. Go in, block the stairwell to the second floor. Block the entrances/exits well enough that the zombies don't see you and come in behind you. Clear all the zombies. Reinforce your entrance/exits.

Then, unblock the stairwell and clear the zombies as they come down. Zombies are stupid. They will follow that first zombie right down the stairwell. That's good, because they won't be able to mob you. They'll be two or three abreast at the very most. And the ones behind the first wave will be slowed, almost blocked by the front line, as you dispatch them. Seriously, two people standing shoulder to shoulder at the stairwell door, with one person standing on a chair a few feet behind them with a ranged weapon... It would be pretty quick work. Then all that would be left to do would be to carefully search the 2nd floor (barricading the 3rd floor stairwell and the stairs to the lower level the same way) and get rid of the stragglers.

You keep doing this until you've cleared all the floors. Now you have a defensible building with plenty of room for your group and any others you feel would add to your society. Don't forget to shut off the gas to the building. You don't want a random gas explosion taking out your building, too.

Put your water collection and purification bins on the rooftop, along with hydroponics and other gardening. Or, if you worry about some living person coming to take your building when they see all your nice plants, cut a hole in the roof and hide your water collectors in that recess.

Now you've got a pretty good start. That's a lot better than camping out in the zombie-infested woods or sleeping in the field of a farm surrounded by zombie-infested countryside, isn't it? Yeah. I think so.

But I guess that wouldn't be good for ratings.


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