Tales From Pat's Mailbag

Happy Monday. I know. You're thinking... Is that sarcasm? Hmm...

My goals this weekend were:

• Taxes (done)
• Grocery shopping (done)
• Easter Dinner (done)
• Catch up on laundry (eh, that's never done)
• Finish my UFOs (OMFG! I think I hurt myself laughing)

Obviously, if I'd finished all those things, I wouldn't have wasted the first two paragraphs of my blog telling you about all that other crap, would I? You'd be looking at lovely digital pix and admiring my knitterly skills.

So, since I am a total slacker about finishing things, but blogaholic enough that I still want to make a post today, I decided to just answer some of your questions. That's right, folks. These are questions you have sent me over the last several weeks of blogging. They are in no particular order, I printed them all off and I'm just answering them as they come off my DeskJet 970Cse.

Dear Pat,
I notice the completion graphs on your sidebar never seem to change. Once you complete a project, you really should mark it done or take it off. The way you are doing things now, it almost makes it seem like you never finish anything.

Dear Reader,
Is there a question in that?

Hey Pat,
What's up with you and Adam West? Isn't he, like, a million years old by now? What you're doing is just... Ew.

Dear Reader,
Just because there's snow on the roof...

Dear Pat,
I really liked the Fuzzy Sexy Lingerie. I'd like to make it soon, since I own no lingerie that is guaranteed to tickle both of us at the same time, but I really want some. When are you going to post a pattern?


Dear Reader,
Soon. Patience. I just started a new job, remember? I'm a little overwhelmed.

Hi Pat,
Are you really having an affair with Adam West, John Mellancamp, Sting, and Jason Bateman? What does T think about this?

Dear Reader,
Yes, no, no, and no. He thinks I'm just joking.

Dear Pat,
What happened to the Isabeau Purse and the Self Designed Shrug? Weren't those supposed to be your "quickies," to take the stress off of so many long-term UFOs?

Dear Reader,
Yes. Thanks for bringing that up.

Dear Pat,
The advent of cellular phones has revolutionized the way we communicate with one another. What do you have against cell phones?

Dear Reader,

Hi Pat,
When are you going to finish the Chaos Sweater for T?

Next question.

Hey there, Patwoman. Did you know that bats are nocturnal? Does that turn you on?

Uh... Adam? Is that you?