The One Where Patwoman Nearly Causes A 10 Car Pile Up On Washington Street

Hello. My name is Pat and I am a knitaholic.

Hi Pat.

I've known, of course, for quite a while that I love yarn. I love knitting. I guess I just wasn't ready to admit I had a problem. But today, I had to grab lunch quickly and then get back to the office for a conference call. And as I passed Michael's and Joann's (in the same strip mall, come on!), the Patmobile just seemed to slow on its own.

If I were writing this scene it would go something like this:

***
Int. Patmobile. Daytime. Patwoman is driving along a busy road, singing to the radio to alleviate road rage.

Patwoman: (not really trying to hold the tune, because she can't, so might as well not even try) ...'cause your friends don't dance/and if they don't dance/then they're no friends of mine...

Medium close up on Patwoman as her eyes glaze over and her expression becomes slack.

Cut to: Ext. Highway. The Patmobile is in the foreground and we can see the Michael's sign through the windshield. The Patmobile slows noticeably, causing cars to swerve around it, honking.

Cut to: Int. Patmobile.

Patwoman: (trancelike) ...safety dance...safe...

Cut to: Ext. Highway. Camera pans back to show McDonald's just beyond the craft stores. Patmobile is drifting right, toward the strip mall entrance. Cars honk and drivers curse loudly as they are cut off.

Cut to: Int. Patmobile. Both Michael's and McDonald's are visible through the windshield now.

Extreme Close up on Patwoman's eyes as they move back and forth between the two.

Patwoman: Hmmm. I did eat yesterday...

***
Scene 2 would, of course, be a flashback montage sequence of Patwoman starting a dozen projects and then leaving them on the table beside her chair in the living room.

It would star T's Chaos Sweater and the Isabeau purse, but it would feature two newcomers.

The Aqua Tank, my own design. Knit from "Confetti" yarn from Dollar Tree, I am literally making it up as I go along. I have only just decided to add a drapey, cowl-like thing to the neckline.


And this one. It's the Slip Stich Top from Summer 2006 Knit 1. I'm using Moda Dea's Ticker Tape in "Festival." It's softer than I would have imagined ribbon to be. Very soft, actually.

Here's a close up of the stitches. The colors (although this pic is perhaps not the best representation) are bright, and not ones I am used to wearing. Still I like it a lot. I see it as the kind of sleeveless shell Patwoman would wear under a black suit.

Or would that give away my secret identity?