She Is Gone, Alas. Let All The Bells Toll.
The Patmobile II is no more. Listen:
You know that feeling you get when you oversleep and are 2 hours late to work and then you spend all day desperately (and only somewhat sucessfully) trying to catch up? And then you skip lunch and stay late so you can at least start the next day without that horrible feeling of waking up with the house on fire?
And then you refrain from all the road rage-inspired curse words your mouth is just begging you to verablize but your stupid, guilt-ridden brain won't let you because deep down you feel like you deserve to be stuck in traffic because, after all, you were 2 hours late to work today.
And then you stop at a red light because, you know, it's a red light. And a school zone. And there's cross traffic that might nail you. And there is a cop just 3 cars back (who apparently didn't notice the way you were speeding through the school zone, but who would probably not let slide running through a stoplight).
And then, when the light finally turns green, the car just stays there. No movement. No forward. No reverse. No low gears. Nothing. Zip. Nada. Nil.
And then, you block the effing traffic for about, oh, forever until someone can come and help you move the @#$%^&@# thing off the road. (The nice policeman did stop traffic long enough for us to do that.) And oh, doesn't everybody love to look at the person with their hazard lights on?
No, it's not out of gas. Don't you think I know to put gas in the car? And no, turning it off and then back on again didn't help. It doesn't help my Dell Piece Of Shit Computer, either. And yes, my car did die on me. Thanks for noticing.
Jackasses.
Oh, and then, you can wait for the effing tow truck to come and get your car, which you parked, by the way, in the nearest parking lot you could push the car to. Which just happens to be a substance abuse recovery facility.
That's a treat.
Oh, and then, the transmission guys can tell you the car will cost more to repair than to replace.
You know how that feels? Yeah. You just shake your head and say, "Oh good one, Universe. You really got me there."
You know that feeling you get when you oversleep and are 2 hours late to work and then you spend all day desperately (and only somewhat sucessfully) trying to catch up? And then you skip lunch and stay late so you can at least start the next day without that horrible feeling of waking up with the house on fire?
And then you refrain from all the road rage-inspired curse words your mouth is just begging you to verablize but your stupid, guilt-ridden brain won't let you because deep down you feel like you deserve to be stuck in traffic because, after all, you were 2 hours late to work today.And then you stop at a red light because, you know, it's a red light. And a school zone. And there's cross traffic that might nail you. And there is a cop just 3 cars back (who apparently didn't notice the way you were speeding through the school zone, but who would probably not let slide running through a stoplight).
And then, when the light finally turns green, the car just stays there. No movement. No forward. No reverse. No low gears. Nothing. Zip. Nada. Nil.
And then, you block the effing traffic for about, oh, forever until someone can come and help you move the @#$%^&@# thing off the road. (The nice policeman did stop traffic long enough for us to do that.) And oh, doesn't everybody love to look at the person with their hazard lights on?
No, it's not out of gas. Don't you think I know to put gas in the car? And no, turning it off and then back on again didn't help. It doesn't help my Dell Piece Of Shit Computer, either. And yes, my car did die on me. Thanks for noticing.
Jackasses.
Oh, and then, you can wait for the effing tow truck to come and get your car, which you parked, by the way, in the nearest parking lot you could push the car to. Which just happens to be a substance abuse recovery facility.
That's a treat.
Oh, and then, the transmission guys can tell you the car will cost more to repair than to replace.
You know how that feels? Yeah. You just shake your head and say, "Oh good one, Universe. You really got me there."
posted by Patwoman | 7:57 PM
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