Friday Night Rant

I hate dumbasses.

Don't get me wrong. Stupid people are okay. As long as they are amusing, of course. But dumbasses... Oh, don't get me started.

So it's Friday and T and I go to Don Pablos for dinner. We're sitting at our booth, enjoying some conversation and chips and salsa, and everything is fine. Until I start noticing the dumbasses about 10 feet away.

They have a baby, and the baby is in the high chair at the end of the table. But, they don't put the seat belt on the baby, so he keeps standing up and dancing around and reaching across the table and grabbing stuff. (And let me say here, I don't think the baby is a dumbass. The baby was being a baby. His dumbass parents just weren't watching him.)

I know you're worried, so I'm just gonna say right now that this baby wasn't injured from what I saw. But I'm surprised by that.

Anyway, after a while, the server comes with their food--sizzling fajitas and something else--and warns the adults "Watch out. These plates are hot." But he sets the little table thing with the tray on top, which is covered in hot plates and sizzling fajitas RIGHT NEXT TO THE BABY. Seriously. It's like, 6 inches out of his non-leaning reach. And remember this baby has been reaching across the table all night. And then the server picks up those hot dishes and serves them across the table--not from beside the baby, because that would mean he would have to take a step to the left or the right--but OVER THE BABY'S HEAD. And remember this baby has been standing up in the chair all night.

And neither the dumbass server or the dumbass parents see anything wrong with this. It apparently doesn't occur to the server, whoa, I can't take a chance on burning this baby. And it apparently doesn't occur to the parents whoa, my baby could get burned.

But wait. There's more.

Baby is antsy and bored at the table. Again, just being a baby. So mom gets up to entertain baby while dad eats. Hey, been there; done that. But--and here's where we differ--mom entertains baby by walking up and down the row of tables, grabbing his arms and swinging him up and down the aisle. Not that little swinging thing you do with kids when you walk with them. No. Like swinging him up right next to the heads of the people who are eating at those tables. "Whoooooo!"

Then, dad is done and it's mom's turn to eat. So dad decides baby would like to hold one of the colored light bulbs that are hanging over the tables (and are probably hot, since they're on). He lifts baby up, up, up as far as he can and baby reaches... and is still about 3 inches short of the light bulbs. So dad thinks "I'll just give him a little toss." And keeps tossing him. Fortunately mom finishes before dad drops the baby or baby grabs an electric light.

But what gets me is that nobody said anything. Management. Wait staff. Guests. Dumbasses.

And yeah. I should've said something too. So maybe I'm a little bit of a dumbass myself.