No More Red Meat?

So you know the goal is to eat healthy and bring this skyrocketing cholesterol back under control, right? Really, the goal is to go (at least) from shiteous to ohmygod. To that end, we have been eating red meat only once a week. And let me just say how hard that is. Because I love red meat.

But I like to keep up on all the things I can be a hypochondriac about the latest health issues, and so I was reading an article online about how new studies are showing that eating red meat even once a week can be linked to some serious things, like butt cancer.

What a choice.

Well, of course, I certainly don’t want butt cancer. But I reeee-hee-hee-eally look forward to that one time of week when I have red meat. I mean, there’s a system of denial/reward with this diet that makes that one day a week all that much sweeter. And juicier. And… Huh? What? Where was I?

Oh yeah. Right. The fear of butt cancer.

So I guess that means—as much as it kills me to do it—I will have to cut back even more. That makes me sad. And angry, too. I mean, I’m pretty mad at cows right now. I feel like they have to assume some of the responsibility for my high cholesterol. Really. If I am not supposed to eat them, then why are they so effing delicious?