I Have A Voice!

And so the search to find a suitable stunt double for my voice ends somewhat unfruitfully.


I was getting a little worried, I can tell you. (And no doubt, my family and friends missed having my sage wisdom and humor on tap, too.) A week and a half, basically, with no voice is has driven me quite insane, I tell you. Ahahahahaha! no picnic for Patwoman. I was getting a little… let’s say frustrated, okay? That’s a good word.



M: What’s that?
Patwoman: (nothing above a whisper)
R: What?
Patwoman: (again)
M: Are you even talking?
Patwoman: (angry whisper)
R: If you want us to do something, Mom, just say so.

I hope they are paying their dues to the Comedians’ Union.

It was T who suggested recasting The Voice of Patwoman. It had been done before, he said, and with great success. (In Lord of The Rings, for example, Sauron had temporarily lost his voice due to allergies and hired a temp… The Mouth of Sauron.)

But, for those of you who don’t know, I am told I have a rather unique voice. I rarely have to identify myself on the phone with family or friends, no matter how long it’s been since we’ve talked. Good or ill, I’m apparently one of a kind.


So, not just anyone can be The Voice of Patwoman. It takes someone with what the French call, I Don’t Know What. I’m groovin’ on Seth MacFarlane or Billy West, just for the range. James Earl Jones threw his hat into the ring a little late in the game, but you know I’ve got to seriously consider Darth Vader.

It’s all academic now, however, as I can speak for myself. And, as my mama used to say “Patwoman started talking at 9 months and hasn’t shut up since.”