Thinking About Tigers
I was thinking about tigers today because of the tiger scarf. And also because Shark Week is coming up soon and I just saw a commercial for it.
I know sharks are not tigers. Not even tiger sharks. But this was how I got there: Let's say you were in the ocean, swimming around. And a bull shark wants to eat you. Now, even if you're looking around underwater, watching out for hungry bull sharks, you can't see very far. Even with goggles you can't see very far. I don't know exactly how far you can see and my friend Professor Google is not very helpful on that subject. But I've been in the ocean and let me tell you, you can't see very far at all. Like maybe a dozen feet.
Not far enough to see a bull shark coming at you. Those things go about 60 mph. In the water. Think about that for a second. A couple hundred pounds of fish going 60 mph, slamming into you teeth first. You just got hit by a truck, baby. (Well, maybe not a truck. Maybe like a cow going 60 mph. With razor sharp teeth. Now that's a scary thought.)
Anyway, the point is, at 60 mph, that fish is swimming a mile a minute. 88 feet a second. That means, if my public school math is correct, you are screwed. You won't see it coming, even if it comes at you while you are looking that direction. Just, one second there's nothing and the next second, bam!
It's the same with tigers. We had the opportunity to see and touch Siberian Tigers up close several years ago. One of the things the zookeepers told us is that, even though these tigers had been around people since they were babies and they liked people just fine, they can still hurt you without even meaning to.
Tigers are lightning fast. Like, you-do-not-ever-want-to-piss-off-a-tiger fast. Tell you what. Go get a flashlight and start shining it all around the floor in front of your cat. They will watch intently for a while and you know they're going to pounce on it. You are expecting it. You are watching for it. But when they finally do pounce, it's such a sudden, rapid explosion of muscle that you are a bit taken aback by how fast they are. (And you might think to yourself, "Hey, cat. If you can move so fast, why did you let that spider in the bathroom get away yesterday?")
Anyway, as fast as your cat is, tigers make your cat look like they're ready for a nap. And, on top of that, they're big. The male that we saw was 700 pounds or so. The zookeeper said, "Even when they're just playing, if a 700 pound cat sits on you, you're not getting up until he wants you to get up."
Think about that.
I know sharks are not tigers. Not even tiger sharks. But this was how I got there: Let's say you were in the ocean, swimming around. And a bull shark wants to eat you. Now, even if you're looking around underwater, watching out for hungry bull sharks, you can't see very far. Even with goggles you can't see very far. I don't know exactly how far you can see and my friend Professor Google is not very helpful on that subject. But I've been in the ocean and let me tell you, you can't see very far at all. Like maybe a dozen feet.
Not far enough to see a bull shark coming at you. Those things go about 60 mph. In the water. Think about that for a second. A couple hundred pounds of fish going 60 mph, slamming into you teeth first. You just got hit by a truck, baby. (Well, maybe not a truck. Maybe like a cow going 60 mph. With razor sharp teeth. Now that's a scary thought.)
Anyway, the point is, at 60 mph, that fish is swimming a mile a minute. 88 feet a second. That means, if my public school math is correct, you are screwed. You won't see it coming, even if it comes at you while you are looking that direction. Just, one second there's nothing and the next second, bam!
It's the same with tigers. We had the opportunity to see and touch Siberian Tigers up close several years ago. One of the things the zookeepers told us is that, even though these tigers had been around people since they were babies and they liked people just fine, they can still hurt you without even meaning to.
Tigers are lightning fast. Like, you-do-not-ever-want-to-piss-off-a-tiger fast. Tell you what. Go get a flashlight and start shining it all around the floor in front of your cat. They will watch intently for a while and you know they're going to pounce on it. You are expecting it. You are watching for it. But when they finally do pounce, it's such a sudden, rapid explosion of muscle that you are a bit taken aback by how fast they are. (And you might think to yourself, "Hey, cat. If you can move so fast, why did you let that spider in the bathroom get away yesterday?")
Anyway, as fast as your cat is, tigers make your cat look like they're ready for a nap. And, on top of that, they're big. The male that we saw was 700 pounds or so. The zookeeper said, "Even when they're just playing, if a 700 pound cat sits on you, you're not getting up until he wants you to get up."
Think about that.
posted by Patwoman | 6:00 PM
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