My Tooth

OMG. I can't believe it. I was chewing gum this weekend (and not aggressively, as you might imagine) and I broke my back molar. Like a big chunk of it came off in my gum. WTF?!

So I went to the dentist--a new one, at that. (New to me. I assume he has been practicing a while. He has an office and all.) And it turns out that this is a tooth I had a previous filling in. But I developed a cavity under the filling. So without the part of tooth that broke off, there was just filling left. Yeah. Gruesome. And the dentist decided the tooth needed to come out.

He gave me some pain pills, but told me not to eat anything solid for three days. (I haven't really been able to eat solid foods since breaking the tooth, anyway.) Let me give you a hint about what happened next... You are not supposed to take pain pills on an empty stomache.

Last night I was puking for about an hour when T called me on his lunch break at work. Now, I didn't want him to worry about me if I didn't answer the phone, so my thought was to answer the phone and tell him I needed to go because I was sick. That was the plan, at least. What happened was this:

T: Hello?
Patwoman:

Hel-aaaurgharugh!

T: You okay?
Patwoman:

I hurraauurrrgh!

T: You getting sick?
Patwoman:

Yaurrraaaarrrghaar!

T: How long has this been going on?
Patwoman:

Meeaaaarrrrruuuuguuuhh!

T: Do you need me to come home?
Patwoman:

Rarararaaaarghuurf!

T: Ok. I'm coming home.
Patwoman:

Mrrrrffrgruurg!

It was literally a 2-hour puke session, during which, I had puked so much and with so much force that I lost control and puked on the toilet seat, my hand, the shower door, the sink cabinet, the floor, my pants, and my right foot. And I just kept thinking to myself, "How can I have so much volume when I have eaten nothing?"

Long story short (well, not really, since it's pretty long and includes several illustrations already), I have decided to stop taking the pain pills.