Patwoman's Job Hunting Advice

You know I don't do this very often, but sometimes I feel the need to share some job hunting tips with you, just as a public service. Today, let's talk about job fairs.

If you go to a job fair, keep in mind there will be a lot of comptetition there. So give yourself every advantage. At least, don't hamstring yourself.

#1 Treat the job fair as an interview. That means, don't come dressed in a wifebeater and flipflops. Don't wear houseslippers. Don't wear a t-shirt with a political slogan, beer logo, pot leaf, or swear word on it. I saw all of these, just this week.

#2 Get a babysitter for the kids.
I know. That makes me sound like a bitchy child-hater. But listen, job fairs are crowded. They're hot. They're noisy. They're long. And they are boring as hell for little kids. Every child I've ever seen at any job fair has been miserable, bored out of their minds, and screaming their heads off. This does not make you look good.

#3 Don't keep touching me after we shake hands. Now, I'm not a germaphobe, or whatever you call one of those people who don't like to be touched by others. I'm all for a friendly handshake and I'm not too concerned about personal space most of the time.

But, when I back up, that's your cue that I am uncomfortable with how close you are standing. It is not an invitation to come even closer. And when I put my hand out in front of me to stop you, I expect you to stop moving toward me.

Stop. Period. Not stop just until I drop my hand and then move even closer to me.

And, if we've gotten to the point where I have to say, "Sir, could you please just take a step back?" it means I'm worried that your next move is to crawl inside my mouth and wear my skin like a suit!


Hope these tips are helpful to you.