Makeover Magic

I feel pretty blah these days, as far as the way I look. Part of it may be that I have a birthday coming up next month. And it's a pretty big one. Like, there will be enough candles on the cake to likely set off the smoke detectors. Like, after this birthday, I can officially start calling myself "vintage." Like, the kind of birthday that looks much better in Roman numerals. Like, in dog years, I'd be... uh... dead.

Anyway, so that's my state of mind these days. Combine that with the crazy hormonal things menopause is doing to me and, well... I think it's pretty safe to say I could a little work.

Now, before anyone thinks about submitting my name to Ambush Makeover, let me say that that is not the way to get on my good side. If you want to stay on my good side, you say "What? No! Patwoman, you look marvelous! Marvelous, I tell you! Do not change a thing."

But it's okay for me to say I need a makeover. And, saying that, I went to www.instyle.com and virtually made myself over. Here's what I looked like the first time I tried.

Looks a lot like my mom.

Here's another. This is basically what would happen if Julianne Moore and I had a baby. And then that baby grew to be a middle-aged woman.

And here I am with short hair.

And then I got a little weird.