If you're not knitting, the terrorists win

(My mostly on-topic ramblings about knitting. And life in general. My life in specific.)

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Location: Indiana, United States

I'm a middle aged mother of 2 grown children and wife to a man who doesn't seem to mind my almost heroin-like yarn addiction. I spend my time writing, knitting, and generally stressing out.

Sunday, May 29, 2016

On Role Models, Responsibilities, And Other Misconceptions

Stand back, I'm about to do something I don't normally do. I'm going to say something that some people may take the wrong way. Usually, I steer clear of anything that would be even remotely controversial, due to my extreme hatred of internet trolling. (I don't understand how that is actually fun for anyone, by the way. Can it provide that much pleasure to a person to anonymously write shitty comments?)

Anyway, here's the back story. I recently found out that Prison Break is coming back, at least in a limited form. And you know I love me some Prison Break. So I've been watching the trailer on YouTube and some interviews about the show with Wentworth and Dominic (See? I love this show so much, I can call them by their first names.) about the show and all. And then, as most internet safaris go, I started watching some other videos about them.

There was a lot of crap about the weight Wentworth had gained during a depression. (Honestly, I don't think it looked bad on him. He was still pretty good looking, with or without the extra weight. I swear. Sometimes Hollywood standards are so far out of line...) And there was a video about how he fired back at the detractors and basically said, Shut up. We all deal with our shit in different ways. Mind your own business. 

Good for you, by the way, Wentworth. I think you're dead on there--people should mind their own business.

And then, I saw a speech he had made a couple of years ago, where he talked about coming out. It was very sincere and very moving to me because he seemed like he was sharing a lot of his thought process along the way to making the decision to publicly come out. He said at first, he was very conflicted. Why should he come out and jeopardize his career and the life he'd built? Because coming out publicly may or may not help someone for whom he is a role model? A person that may or may not even exist and that he doesn't even know? Ultimately, he made the choice to publicly be who he is.

Now, this is the part where I'm going to get controversial... 

The story I've read in other places is that W was basically forced to come out, kind of like Neil Patrick Harris was forced out. Someone took it upon themselves to out them--even though it was none of their business--on the principle that they are a role model for others and they need to be out publicly so other people can be encouraged and know they are not alone. You get that? Someone else made the choice for them.

That is so offensive to me. 

Let's break this down, piece by piece. First of all, actors should never be role models for young people. An actor's job is, basically, to pretend. It's all fake. When you watch Prison Break, you are not seeing Wentworth. You are seeing Wentworth pretending to be Michael Scofield. When you watch X-Men, you are not seeing Hugh Jackman. You are seeing Hugh Jackman pretending to be Wolverine. When you watch Game of Thrones, you are not seeing Lena Headley. You are seeing Lena Headley pretending to be Cersei Lannister. You get what I'm saying? Unless you personally know these people and interact with them personally, you don't know them and therefore should not be making them your role models. And neither should your children. If you are a parent and your child's role model is an actor instead of you, you are a shitty parent. (Unless, of course, you are an actor. Then, that's a horse of a different color.)

Secondly, I find it completely obnoxious that someone would take it upon themselves to broadcast someone else's business to the world. All those gossip blogs (including the one that claims  he no longer bullies people), all the paparazzi, all the gossipy little busybodies in your hometown or high school that spew out everything they hear or think of, regardless of its truth, its worth, or its power--all those people need to mind their own fucking business. 

They can regurgitate their lines about how people need to be honest so others will see. And that's a nice sentiment. I think it's a good thing when people do come out publicly. I think it does help others. But this is not something someone else should decide for you. Just because something is true, doesn't mean it has to be said. Listen, there are a lot of things I have done or thought in my life that, while they are completely true, I would not want posted for the world to see. Not bad things. Just things that are nobody else's business.

Even as a role model to my children, I don't feel the need to disclose all the things I've thought or done in my life to my kids. There are things that are not their business. I'm sure you have stuff like that, too. How would you feel if your neighbor took it upon themselves to tell your kids all of that, without your permission? Again, I'm not saying bad things. I'm saying just stuff that you chose not to tell your kids--that dream where you are in a flying car, for example. Not bad. It's just not your neighbor's place to tell your kids what you dream about. I find it amazing in this day and age that people will waste so much energy on other people's business.

Thirdly, why does a person have to come out at all? Why do they ever have to be in? Why does something like that even matter? Listen, if someone is not your sexual partner, then why does their sexuality even matter to you? I'm not talking about just actors--whose job, we've already established, it is to pretend--but about everybody. Your teacher, your sister, your neighbor, a senator, the CEO of a corporation, an artist, you. Everybody.

Why can't we just assume that everyone is who they are and who they are is fine? Let's judge people by their deeds and contributions and not by something that should never be judged in the first place.
And then, there's no reason for anyone to be out or in.

You feel me?


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