A Letter From AW

My Dearest Patwoman,

Today, as I was spring cleaning the Batcave, I came across some memorabilia I had packed away in my Bat Hope Chest--the tokens and trinkets of our various tete-a-tetes, if you will.

Imagine my bittersweet joy at finding again a small piece of almost petrified bread! Do you remember, my blue-eyed beauty? It was that first breakfast in Finland. I had so nearly captured you as you made your escape from the museum, but you were such a nimble minx that you escaped my Bat-Clutches time and time again! We spent the whole night in a heart-pounding, Bat and Pat chase, which ended at daybreak in that little cafe near the bay. Do you remember what you said to me, Darling Patwoman? You said, "Aren't you hot in that cape and cowl?"

Was I! I sat down at your table, forgetting all about the priceless museum items you, no doubt, had stashed just moments before, and watched you eat toast. And when you left, I snatched up the remaining crust and saved it as a treasure. Just knowing your lips had touched this dried bread was enough to send me into a toast-tasting frenzy. I knew then that I had to have you!

I have other mementos, to be sure, my darling. Photo booth hijinks, newspaper clippings of the unsolved museum heist, and a ticket stub from that performance art show we viewed. (I had no idea a donkey could be trained so thoroughly!) But my favorite souvenir of all is the one your sweet luscious lips lavered on.

Ah, Patwoman. Tell me you have fond memories of Helsinki, too. Tell me we will one day relive those adventures. Tell me, you delectable delinquent, that you feel as I do.

I am, forever yours,

AW

***

Dear Adam,

Of course I remember well those exciting nights in the north! Of course, the images and feelings are fixed in my mind like... fixed things.

How could I forget such costume capers? The rooftops in the moonlight? The Batarang? Of course I remember!

You, I, the patrons of that nightclub with the (unbeknownst to either of us) two-way mirror, and the entire Helsinki Police Department will always remember what the newspapers called The Helsinki Incident.

As a matter of fact, now that I am thinking about it directly...

Adam, call me.
Patwoman