April Fool's Day
April Fool's Day usually passes without incident here in the Patwoman household. It's not that we don't love a good prank--oh, we do, trust me. It's just that everyone expects to be pranked on April 1st. It kind of takes the fun out of it.
I have been pranked pretty spectacularly over the years, mostly by T. Listen, T can play the kind of jokes that take weeks or even years to come to fruition. The patience of a spider, that man.
When we were dating, mumble-mumble years ago, we drove by an earth-sheltered building near here. Coming from the small town of Darwin's Waiting Room, Indiana, I had never actually seen an earth-sheltered building. (Though I had read books and magazines, so I wasn't a completely ignorant hick.)"Oh look! An earth-sheltered building!" I cried out in my excitement as we passed.
Oh yes, and not just a regular earth-sheltered building, T explained to me. It was a bomb shelter, from the early 60's. There are a few still around in the area, he told me. But this one, this is still fully functional and could be used now, if needed, not only for nuclear holocaust, but for nerve gas leaks (there is a storage depot for nerve gas less than 50 miles away), biological warfare, or many other emergency contingencies.
Seeing how impressed I was with his knowledge of civil engineering, he went on to inform me of the number of people the shelter could support and for how long, the type of air and water filtration system it used, how the communications array would be deployed in the aftermath of whatever happened, and the cutting edge hydroponics this bomb shelter supported.
Oh, I was so enamored with my super-smart boyfriend and this wealth of knowledge he gifted me with! Until about a year later, when I tried to enlighten a friend of mine... who informed me that the building was actually the county's special education services building. And, it had only been built a few years before (not in the 60's).
When I angrily related this embarrassing conversation to T, he nearly hemorrhaged, he laughed so hard.
There were other pranks, to be sure--the ostrich farm, the haunted gravestone, the disappearing bridge, the tombstone in the middle of the road (which turned out to be true, btw, even though I didn't believe it at the time). He has a way of making the most ridiculous things sound believable.
I have never been able to prank him. I have pranked everyone else I have ever met, but I have never been able to put anything over on T.
Some day, T. Some day.
I have been pranked pretty spectacularly over the years, mostly by T. Listen, T can play the kind of jokes that take weeks or even years to come to fruition. The patience of a spider, that man.
When we were dating, mumble-mumble years ago, we drove by an earth-sheltered building near here. Coming from the small town of Darwin's Waiting Room, Indiana, I had never actually seen an earth-sheltered building. (Though I had read books and magazines, so I wasn't a completely ignorant hick.)"Oh look! An earth-sheltered building!" I cried out in my excitement as we passed.
Oh yes, and not just a regular earth-sheltered building, T explained to me. It was a bomb shelter, from the early 60's. There are a few still around in the area, he told me. But this one, this is still fully functional and could be used now, if needed, not only for nuclear holocaust, but for nerve gas leaks (there is a storage depot for nerve gas less than 50 miles away), biological warfare, or many other emergency contingencies.
Seeing how impressed I was with his knowledge of civil engineering, he went on to inform me of the number of people the shelter could support and for how long, the type of air and water filtration system it used, how the communications array would be deployed in the aftermath of whatever happened, and the cutting edge hydroponics this bomb shelter supported.
Oh, I was so enamored with my super-smart boyfriend and this wealth of knowledge he gifted me with! Until about a year later, when I tried to enlighten a friend of mine... who informed me that the building was actually the county's special education services building. And, it had only been built a few years before (not in the 60's).
When I angrily related this embarrassing conversation to T, he nearly hemorrhaged, he laughed so hard.
There were other pranks, to be sure--the ostrich farm, the haunted gravestone, the disappearing bridge, the tombstone in the middle of the road (which turned out to be true, btw, even though I didn't believe it at the time). He has a way of making the most ridiculous things sound believable.
I have never been able to prank him. I have pranked everyone else I have ever met, but I have never been able to put anything over on T.
Some day, T. Some day.
posted by Patwoman | 10:00 PM
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