Parenting 101

First, let me stress that I am not judging anyone's parenting style. I'm only judging the poor execution of basic parenting skills. You want to let your kids watch Simpsons, I'm okay with that. You want to take them to church 3 days a week, I'm okay with that, too. What I'm not okay with is putting your children in danger.

For example, the parking lot at Sam's Club is busy. Your kids are too small to be seen by drivers who are looking in their rear-view mirrors to back out. If the drivers are even checking their mirrors. Just from casual observation, I'd say 99% of drivers who park at Sam's Club do not even look--in any way--before pulling out of a space.

So, let me ask you: Is it more important to watch the child or to talk to Betty Lou Jenkins from your spin class, who happened to be at Sam's Club at the same time you were? Is the gossip about who said what to whom so juicy that you can't even turn your head to see that Junior and Juniorina have run in between cars and are now two rows away? Are your meds dialed up so high that you don't even look when I honk my horn because Junior darted out from between a Range Rover and an Altima and almost ran right in front of me? You didn't even look, lady. It's just lucky for you I saw your little monkeys running all over and was expecting them to try and kill themselves. If I had been someone more like you, I might have run him down.

And it's not just the active kids who are in danger of getting run over. I saw one guy put his baby down (in the carrier seat) in the middle of a parking lot aisle at night and walk 30 feet away to talk to someone. While the baby sat in the middle of the lane. This was actually the shopping center my business is in, so I yelled, "Hey (name withheld)! That's not safe!" And he seemed like he thought I was making a big deal out of nothing.

Here's another thing. Glass display counters are made of glass. Not adimantium. Glass breaks. Do not put your kids on top of them. Sure, it probably won't break. But if it did, the results could be disastrous. Why would you risk it?

Patwoman: Please don't put your child on the glass cases. If that glass were to break, he could be seriously injured.

Customer: (Very smugly) You put boxes on the cases. They probably weigh more than he does.

Patwoman: Maybe. But if the boxes break the glass they won't bleed out before the ambulance gets here.

All of these stories are true. And sadly, they are not isolated incidents. You know, I'm not trying to be one of those old ladies who criticize the way other people raise their children. I'm all for parents raising their kids how they feel they should be raised. I raised mine how I wanted and didn't give a flying fat rat's ass if my neighbor thought they would turn into criminals because I let them watch tv before school or if my dad thought they wouldn't know who their mom was if I let them call me Pat.

But it is Basic Parenting 101 that a parent protects the child. They definitely don't put the child in danger. Sadly, it's as they say: Common sense is not all that common.