Nightmare Spiders

True story:

Once upon a time last night, T and I were coming home from work. I was standing on the porch while T fumbled around with the house key unlocked the door and I noticed something hovering in the air about two feet away from me.

This is what I saw:

Now, keep in mind that it was dark. My porch light is yellow (to keep bugs away) so it wasn't much help. Add to that, my near-blindness these days.

I thought to myself "Hm. That's strange. Strange that a hummingbird would be out this late at night." And all the while, this "hummingbird" was hovering there, kind of moving back and forth a little.

Then, something clicked in my brain. Something like "Hummingbirds don't come out at night. And what would a hummingbird be doing, just hovering there, where there was no earthly reason for it to be?" And I took half a step closer so I could see it better.

It was a ginormous spider. Like mwah-ha-ha-you'll-never-wake-up-from-this-nightmare giant spider. My mind just went "Nope...Nope. Nope. Nope." And I calmly asked T to kill the spider.