An Introvert's Fear

Let me tell you about this dream that I had.

I was part of a performing group--like a singing and dancing performing group--and we were scheduled to do this series of shows. This was the first one, and it was a smallish turnout, but we knew it would make or break the whole tour. I, of course, was ready pretty much before everyone else and took my mark on the stage behind the curtain. I looked over at another woman--more talented and experienced than I, but still (like me) not the star of this show. She gave me an acknowledging smile. We both kind of rolled our eyes at all the chaos going on around us while the crew set up the stage.

Suddenly, the curtain went up. It was way too early. No one was on stage except the two of us and a bunch of hands that ran off, as soon as the curtain went up. I looked out into the audience and I could see the people (in the first couple of rows at least) waiting, excitedly, as if they were really going to see something special.

But it was just me and the other woman. And we were kind of frozen to the spot.

Until, finally, I step forward, picked up the mic and started singing the Elton John portion of "Don't Go Breaking My Heart." Luckily, the other woman caught on and sang the Kiki Dee part. We sang pretty well, actually. Even if I forgot one of the verses and just ended up doing the first one over again. Even if it seemed like the song was too short, so I sang the chorus a few more times. Even if there was no accompaniment and it was all a capella. We were pretty good. I was starting to have fun.

And then I realized this was a Christmas show.

When I told T about this dream, he laughed and laughed. He said "You're always so afraid that if you finally relax, you'll screw it up."

And now that song is stuck in my head.