Tales From Patwoman's Mailbag... Or, Where The Hell Has Patwoman Been Lately?!?

I do apologize, my lovely, loyal readers. I have been something of a slacker lately. I've decided to make this edition a mailbag edition, in answer to the deluge of inquiries I've gotten in the last month.

Dear Patwoman,
Where are you? What have you been up to? Why haven't you written?
Concerned in Peoria

Dear Concerned,
Sorry. I've been right here. And, I have been writing, I just haven't been writing for the blog. I feel absolutely terrible for neglecting you all. Can you ever forgive me?

Hey Patwoman,
I heard a rumor that you gave up on knitting. Say it isn't so!
Shocked and Awed

Dear Shock,
Not so. But I have been very discouraged lately. I have had a lot of not so great results, despite the fact that I've been knitting to guage and everything. I made some little chicky egg covers for the children's Easter Baskets that looked more like Nightmare Muppets than chicks.
I made a shrug that made me want to knit something to cover it up with. I made a purse that just looked... blegch. WTH?? Is it me? But, no fear, I continue to try. Made a couple of stuffies for the baskets. Haven't stuffed them yet, but they look pretty good in their flat, not-seamed state.

My Dearest Patwoman,

I was absolutely touched to hear that you outed our bat-love at your last district meeting for work. How wonderfully liberating! How joyously exciting to know that everyone you work with on a daily basis now knows that you and I are a bat-item! A hot and spicy bat-tidbit of gossip for all to nibble on! I cannot wait until we are together again! Hurry, my love, and influence the GenCon organizers to book me as a bat-guest this summer! You have my undying bat-esteem.
AW

Adam,
Bring the bat-utility belt, baby.

Patwoman,
What the hell is this, with Adam West? I thought we had something together?
Kirk out.

Bill,
I visited your website once. It was just a thing. Get over it.