If you're not knitting, the terrorists win

(My mostly on-topic ramblings about knitting. And life in general. My life in specific.)

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Location: Indiana, United States

I'm a middle aged mother of 2 grown children and wife to a man who doesn't seem to mind my almost heroin-like yarn addiction. I spend my time writing, knitting, and generally stressing out.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Bamboo. Bamboo. Bamboooo!

You have to imagine me saying it out loud. Bamboo is such a funny sounding word.

But it is super soft. Oh, I mean soft. What a pleasure it is to knit with this yarn!

It's Bernat Bamboo in Dill. I got it for Christmas this past year and I had just enough to do the scarf pattern on the label. (Also found here.)

Thanks again to the lovely Notpatwoman for modelling.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

International Cat Hat-Part Deux!

Zo.... You seenk zat only Zeus eez ze international cat? Non, non, non! Ah, Mmslle Gracie, am ev-ah-ree beet as international as he!


Et voir!

Oh, ah am... how you say? An animal!

And..... Je suis fait.

Patwoman notation: About half a skein of random acryllic. Pattern says DK weight. I used worsted. Still looks good. Thanks again to Wild Tomato for the pattern!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Art Appreciation

I decided to call the afghan I made for M Starry Starry Night . Because 1) it looks like stars on a background of night. 2) I like the anaphorism. 3) I am keen on having an Impressionistic thing going on.

Hence, R's Blue Period.

This one is the same pattern, different yarn. Kinda like the way M and R are from the same genetic stock, and yet... so different.

I used 4 skeins Yarn Bee Luscious in Black Walnut, 2 skeins Luscious in Lollipop, and 1 skein I Love This Yarn in Navy. Knit in 2 nights on size 50 needles.

I love these gigantor knitting needles. Just wrap your hand around one of these babies and it really makes you feel like a woman!

Oh, calm down, kids. How many times do I have to tell you...? If you don't want to be emotionally scarred, don't read Mommy's blog!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others.... Or Is It?

The brother of Michael Scofield, you're convicted of killing the then vice president's brother. You're a death row convict. You're the muscle and a fighter among the current group of convicts. You've pretty much lived through a life of crime and knows how to fight and a sort of a weapons expert. You have your brother's back all the way, and if it weren't for him, you probably would've been on the electric chair.

You are a T-rex. You are carnivorous and agressive. And nobody would want to mess with you.

Take this test!
Want to read us a bedtime story? Like your Ms. Spears counterpart, you're happiest when you picture yourself as the center of one big happy fam. Always loving and a tad traditional — at least relatively so — you'd rather spend quality time adventuring with your family (don't forget the car seat!) than spending your days in the gym and your nights in the clubs.

You know that taking care of those loved ones sure is a lot of work, but you also know that you have to give big (and maybe get a little big) to get big! Just please try not to feed any Cheetos to the baby...

Monday, April 14, 2008

Oh, Let's Just Go Nuts With The Double Entendre

Sigh. Long day. And you know what I like at the end of a long day.

That's right. A trip to Hobby Lobby. What were you thinking?

I spent some time there, touching yarn (and these... that's where the double entendre comes in. Stay with me, folks), looking for the ever-elusive, almost non-existent one skein of Rum Raisin Mosaic Twist that I need to finish my Brea. Then, I bought 2 skeins of this:

Yarn Bee Soft Illusion Super Bulky in Sassy.

Made a lovely drop stitch scarf that I believe will be mine, not M's... because I like it so much. And the matching hat, modelled by the always lovely, always unsmiling Notpatwoman.

Drop Stitch Scarf Pattern

One skein Yarn Bee Soft Illusion Super Bulky in your choice of color.
Gauge: not all that important, I used #15's

Cast on 9 stitches.
Row 1-6: Knit (Garter Stitch)
Row 7: K1, *YO, K1 Repeat from * to end
Row 8: Knit, dropping YOs
Row 9-10: Knit
Row 11: Repeat Row 7
Row 12: Knit

Repeat these 12 rows until desired length, ending with 6 knit rows.
Bind off.


Drop Stitch Hat Pattern

Less than One Skein Yarn Bee Soft Illusion Super Bulky in your choice of color.
Size 10 DPNs (or, for you not-loose-knitters, probably a #13.)

Cast on 54 stitches. Join.
Work K1P1 rib for 1 1/2 inches.

Row 1 & 3: Knit
Row 2 & 4: Purl
Row 5: K1 *YO, K1 Repeat from * to end
Row 6: Knit, dropping YOs

Repeat Rows 1-6 once. Then work in Stockingette Stitch until piece is about 5 inches long.
Next row: K 2 together across. (27 st.)
Next row: Knit
Next row: K2 together across, end K1 (14 st.)
Next row: K2 together across. (7 st)

Cut yarn and draw through remaining stiches. Securing on inside.

The pictures are not doing this yarn justice. You can barely see the drop stitches here. But, trust me, it looks really cool in person.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

I Made A Bag Cozy

Or a Bag Bag. Or a Sack Sack. Whatever you want to call it. Plastic bags go in the top and come out the bottom. Isn't it cute?

I know. I know. I need to knit some reusable grocery bags and do away with the plastic altogether. What Would Al Do, right? And I will do that. In fact, I actually bought a reusable bag the other day, from my local Half Price Books Store. (What was really funny though, is that they put it in a plastic bag for me!)

Anyway, I will knit some reusable grocery bags. Ravelry has a bunch of patterns. I've put a bunch in my queue.

But, in the meantime, I still get plastic bags from the grocery store. And I still use them for tons of things. I line trashcans, put messy garbage in them, and nothing is better for picking up dog poo than a plastic bag! Not porous at all, so you know you're never going to get poo-hands with a properly used plastic bag.

I also take my lunch to work in one every day. Someday I will knit and felt a lunch sack too. I've seen a lot of those I like. Sigh. So many projects. So little time money energy.

So here is my Feather And Fan Bag Bag. Pattern from Kristen TenDyke on Ravelry. Made from Sugar 'n Cream in Sunshine. One skein that I got on clearance at Hobby Lobby for 89¢. Two nights in front of the TV. Fun.

I hung it up and stuffed it full of plastic bags. R took one look, shook his head, and gave me that OMG-Mom-you've-gone-too-far look.

The Return Of The Beastmaster

Oh man. Guess who is going to be at MarCon this year? (Besides me, obviously.)
Oh yeah. And hopefully, he'll be wearing that loincloth. If he still looks that good in a loincloth. Otherwise, it's like people always tell me... Leave your shirt on, okay?

Actually, you'd be surprised how often I hear that. Jeez, Patwoman. Put your shirt back on!!!

No appreciation.

Anyway, you may remember that I got myself into a little trouble with T a couple of years ago when Beastmaster was at GenCon. I'm not, by nature, a giggly sort of girl, so I think the hubs was a little... annoyed... at how happy I was to talk with Beastmaster.

Seriously. We don't even say The B Word around here any more.

Ah, but just like those cats who can't resist licking anti-freeze off the driveway, you know I'm gonna have to go say hello. Despite the danger.


Friday, April 11, 2008

When Will She Be Satisfied?

Oh, Notpatwoman, Notpatwoman, Notpatwoman. How many hats does it take to make you happy? I keep cranking them out and putting them on your poor, naked head, but you don't seem to appreciate it.

Here: A red Boa hat and scarf of my own design. (Bernat Boa, about 3 skeins. Knit on #10.5's for hat and #13's for scarf. Hat is knit flat and seamed.)


Hat and scarf of my own design. (Yarn Bee Airy in Lime and Lion Brand Fancy Fur in Stormy Sea. Scarf knit with #13s. Hat knit in the round with #10s. About 1 1/2 skeins of Airy and 2 skeins of Fancy Fur.)

I know, it kind of sucks for you to always be Notpatwoman. But your life is not so bad! You get to sleep most of the day on top of the yarn cabinet. You have a massive hat wardrobe! And your pictures are making you famous, internet-wide.


Saturday, April 05, 2008

International Zeus Hat

I found this pattern on Ravelry. The International Cat Hat by Stacy Mar, modelled after Thai ceremonial headpieces. You know I immediately thought of Zeus.

Who else is cosmopolitan enough to wear a hat like that? Who else is handsome enough as to not be overshadowed by such a spectacular hat? You feel me. So I got to work right away on this hat.

After I finished--it was a quick knit (Probably would've been quicker if I'd only started once. Count your stitches after casting on, people... Or at least sometime before you've knitted an inch.) Anyway, after I finished, I showed it to Zeus.

He was... polite.

Patwoman: Look at this hat, Zeusy!

Zeus: Uh, yeah. It's nice.

Patwoman: I know! Great color, great texture...

Zeus: Yeah. Nice.

Patwoman: Try it on.

Zeus: What??? It's for me?

Patwoman: Yes, it's for you, silly. Let's try it on.

Zeus: Back off, lady. I will cut you!

Patwoman: Aw, Zeusy, I made it especially for you. Aren't you even going to try it on?

Zeus: OMG. Thanks for the guilt. Okay. Okay. I'll try it on. But no pictures!

Patwoman: No pictures. I promise.

Lucky for me, cats do not have access to the internet. Mwah-ha-ha-ha!

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Notpatwoman Needed A New Hat

Because she's bald, poor thing. Don't get me wrong, she wears bald well. But I decided to knit a hat, anyway.

This is the Latiss Hat by Lindsey Harley. I used less than a skein of Mosaic Twist Fresco, so I made the scarf with the rest of that + one more skein. And, because I'm clever like that, I used the same stitch pattern, so they match.

Notpatwoman's got a nice set on her, eh?

This took almost no time to knit. Seriously. I did both the hat and the scarf during a bad movie on tv.

This will become a Christmas gift, if M doesn't find it and keep it first.

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