If you're not knitting, the terrorists win

(My mostly on-topic ramblings about knitting. And life in general. My life in specific.)

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Location: Indiana, United States

I'm a middle aged mother of 2 grown children and wife to a man who doesn't seem to mind my almost heroin-like yarn addiction. I spend my time writing, knitting, and generally stressing out.

Thursday, December 31, 2009


This is something I whipped up for myself. (Modelled by the ever-lovely Notpatwoman.) It’s very pretty. I don’t know if you can see that in this picture. It’s very soft and sparkly at the same time. And lacey. It’s lacey, too. It’s fuzzy, so I don’t know that you can see that very well.

Here. Look closer.

I used a simple Old Shale pattern, which is always my standby. I just like it. And the yarn is Lion Brand Moonlight Mohair, which is a mohair blend, with a sparkly thread running through it.

It’s a little shorter than I would like, but long enough, I guess. Now I just need a scarf pin to accent it. I think it's just the perfect thing for my New Year's Eve activities. (Which really consist of working in the game store tonight.)

Happy New Year, people.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009


Here is one of the mittens I made to match M's Christmas set. Very difficult to take a picture of one hand, btw. This is, of course, the same mitten you saw me furiously trying to seam up on Christmas Eve. I actually knitted it in October, but left the finishing to last minute, just like always.
This one is Kate Gilbert’s Gifted. It’s probably the simplest mitten pattern I’ve ever seen. And yet, the mittens look and feel great! Plus, you don’t have to cut the yarn at the thumb. One less end to weave in. And it's a free pattern. Bonus!

Love mittens. Did I ever tell you that mittens were the second thing I ever learned to knit back mumble mumble years ago? Yeah, apparently, if you don’t know it’s supposed to be hard to make a thumb, you can do it pretty easily. So, my first project was a garter stitch scarf (which T still has, and to my mortification, still wears) and when I was done I asked my roommate (an expert knitter) how to make mittens and she showed me a method very similar to this pattern.

Need to make myself some mittens. December is frickin cold.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

What I Got For Christmas


This is the best present EVER! I love carrying it around with me. It's so awesome. I've already downloaded seven books!

Monday, December 28, 2009

Happy Monday!

You're on a first-name basis with Lucidity. I have to call him Mr. Lucidity, which is no good in a pinch.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Christmas Stockings, Christmas Sweater

You've seen both of these before, in quick posts as I was trying to finish. But, now that we have some time, I thought you might want to see the finished products.

First is the Penguin Stocking I made for Aaron. This started out as a basic Christmas stocking (basically a very large sock) from the Canadian Living website. It's all acryllic, so it is easily taken care of and will last a long time.

As I was knitting, I made the decision to duplicate stitch the penguin on after the whole thing was knitted. It seemed easier than working in the round with a bunch of bobbins. Of course, once I started duplicate stitching... Well, you know. That is just the biggest pain in the ass I can readily imagine. I really regretted not knitting the pattern in, I can tell you.

When I had spent 2 days on the head and shoulders of this penguin (which was beginning to look like a black skull at that point), I decided to see if it would be easier quicker less annoying to knit. And it was. I finished the entire penguin applique--making it up as I went along--in about 60 minutes.

And then spent another 30 picking out the duplicate stitches. (Because I'm just not the kind of person who would be satisfied with covering them up with the applique.)

This stocking is Eric's Whimsical Stocking. It's from a Nicky Epstein (love her) pattern which I got (I think) from Ravelry. Done in Grinch Green (haha! Not the real title) I added some I-cord trim. The tree and the star appear on NE's original stocking, but I altered the candy cane. The original was made of two 3-stitch I-cord pieces wrapped around each other, but that looked kind of lumpy when I did it. So I placed the white I-cord and then sewed it to the stocking in an overhand spiral using doubled thread.

Killed 2 birds with one stone, as it was.

I also didn't get a chance to show you this. It's a sweater for GenGen! Look how cute she is! I think this is a LB pattern. (I know, I usually give you links, but I kind of cleaned everything up for Christmas and I have to go dig out the patterns to get that information for you.) I used acryllic yarn (Caron Simply Soft and Highland Thistle in Tweed.)Basically one skein of each made a sweater for my pretty good sized dog.

I worried a little about the closures. The pattern called for velcro closures, but of course that tends to snag. I didn't want to use buttons because I was afraid she would chew them off and choke on them. GenGen tends to be a chewer.

So I opted for some simple frog closures, with bobbles for buttons. I don't know if you can see them here. I put two on the collar and two on the chest. They are soft enough that they don't bother her at all and they blend right into the pattern.

She doesn't really need a sweater, of course, since she has an undercoat and all. But the red looks really good on her and she enjoys the attention of having someone dress her before she goes out.

R's reaction to seeing this was to simply shake his head in disgust.

Patwoman Reviews "Sherlock Holmes"

Went to see this after Christmas dinner. Not a bad flick, really. You know I'm a longtime RDJ fan.

I have to say though, that even if you didn't know it before viewing the movie, there is no question this is a Guy Ritchie film. Some directors are like that. There are just some shots, some ways of looking at and progressing through a scene that are almost like a signature. (Tarantino has done it to the point of predictability. It's still enjoyable with Ritchie, however.) He does love that upside-down overhead-to-rightside up shot a little too much, though. I think twice in one movie is probably more than enough.

Robert Downey, Jr. is a pleasure to watch. He really plays Holmes as a self-centered ass (which I always thought he was), but an ass that is also a little insecure about personal relations. Yeah, okay. So he plays Sherlock Holmes as Tony Stark. So what. Still fun to watch.

I must say though, the thing that I enjoyed most about this movie was the treatment of Dr. Watson. Jude Law was a good choice. Did a great job with the part. But I especially like the fact that Watson was actually a help to Holmes. In all of the other Sherlock Holmes movies, Watson is portrayed as a bumbling, stupid, but loyal dog to Holmes, with no real redeeming skills of his own.

Now, I know you will say But Patwoman, Sherlock Holmes as an action hero? Wasn't he more cerebral than physical? Wasn't that the point? What's with all this boxing and karate? To which I will remind you that I'm not a purist. We don't have to stick to the novels for a movie to be enjoyable. (Remember how good Jurassic Park was? And it had nothing to do with the book, except that there were dinosaurs in both.)

And it's a good thing, too. Because if we were comparing to the books, I'm not sure how this might stack up. The movie had nice action sequences (steampunk, baby!) and the books do rather drag. The actors do a good job making the characters likable, where the books pretty much treat everyone else as accessories to Sherlock Holmes.

The big difference is probably that the books actually had plots. I mean, they were convoluted and far-fetched, but they made some kind of sense. I'm not sure exactly what was going on in the movie.

Not that it really mattered. It was fun to watch, at any rate. I think it would be a nice franchise series.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Sigh: Update

I finished. Really. All gifts. All stockings. All candy. The only things not done are the Christmas cards. Didn't get any out before Christmas this year. (My mom would be ashamed of me.)They're coming, though.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Update: @#$%%&^*!!!

Aaron's Penguin Stocking done. I still hate duplicate stitch. Know what I hate more? Picking out duplicate stitch.

Update: @#$%*(%#)^!!!

I hate duplicate stitch. This is not working.

On the up side, the mittens are done.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009


What's today's date? The 23rd? So, like, I need this stuff tomorrow?

Why do I do this to myself?

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Once Again, Science Imitates Art

You would think scientists could come up with something a little more original. But no. In all the galaxy, they found GJ1214b.

GJ1214b, in case you didn’t know, is about the same size as Earth. It is about 40 light years away. And it orbits a red sun. Like we don’t know what’s coming next.

Hey scientists… Please don’t look for LV-426, okay?

Monday, December 21, 2009

Happy Monday

So he says to me, 'You wanna be a baaaaad guy?' And I say yeah, baby! I wanna be bad! I SAYS, SURF'S UP, SPACE PONIES! I'M MAKING GRAVY WITHOUT THE LUMPS! Aaaaaa-hahahahaha!

Sunday, December 20, 2009


I know. That's lame. What else am I going to say? This scarf has balls! No, I don't think so.

Anyway, I knit this hat, because I like the color change this yarn makes. Then, because the hat only took about half of the skein, I thought I'd make a scarf to match. I don't remember where I put the pattern for the hat, or if I even used one. But the scarf is on Ravelry. It's one of the Anthropology-inspired scarves. I had to make some bigtime adjustments for guage, with this bulky yarn. And I added the pompons, just because I like pompons.

This is Moda Dea Tweedle Dee in Thunder. It's a wool/acryllic blend. Bulky weight. The color is mostly shades of grey, ranging from very dark to almost white. But, then, there's a little red and a little blue and even a little gold mixed in. So it comes out looking very tweedy.

Oh, hence the Tweed in Tweedle Dee. Ha! I just got that.

This goes in the Box-O-Scarves.

Friday, December 18, 2009

So Let’s Talk About The Bionic Eye

Now, I know you all think I’m afraid of the Robot Apocalypse, but that’s not true. I’m resistant to the Robot Apocalypse that destroys humanity. (Terminator, Space Above and Beyond, Lost In Space, RoboCop, 2001…) I actually think it would be awesome to be part robot, myself.

Like these eyes. That’s pretty effin cool, I gotta say. Like Star Trek cool. (But do not interpret that to mean I think Geordi LaForge is cool. That’s not what I’m saying. Jeez.)

Or, have you seen these suits? They were designed to help people who are paralyzed to become ambulatory. (And, if you mounted rocket launchers on the shoulders, you could have your own anime show!)

I think it would be a big selling point if you could program a suit like that to do stuff, like while you were asleep. Stay with me here. You put the suit on, program it to do crunches and leg lifts, take an Ambien, and tone up in your sleep.

I know that sounds pretty radical, but think about it a sec. Why don’t you exercise? You know it’s good for you. You know you need it. You know youshould. But… you don’t have time. Seriously. My doctor says I should be getting 30 minutes of cardio 4-5 days a week. I tell her, if I had an extra 2 ½ hours a week, I’d spend it sleeping.

This way, I could do both

Just try not to picture what you might look like doing it.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Merry Christmas? Really?

Did I show you this? This is how much my office decided to decorate for the holidays. That’s not trick photography or weird depth perception, by the way. That’s a 12-inch ruler I’m holding up next to the Christmas tree.


Wednesday, December 16, 2009

A Warmer Climate

We were in Nashville, TN, last weekend and Monday on a business trip. What fun! First of all, I love how it just keeps getting warmer the further south you go. Monday I walked around with no coat. In December. How much do you love that?

Returned home to learn there had been snow here. Today it was 10 degrees when I left the house. I know it’s winter, but come on! I’ve got to move someplace warm. Seriously. And what kills me is how this place just shuts down every time there’s a little powder of snow. Come on, people. It’s Indiana. It snows every year. You know this.

Anyway, besides how cool it was to actually go and meet with everyone in person, (and besides how much I approve of warm weather in December) here are some interesting things that happened on the trip:

Got to see my all time favorite sign in the world. I know. I’m so immature, but it makes me laugh every time.

Got to eat at the hotel breakfast buffet. I seriously love breakfast buffets. (It’s a thing.) This is the Christmas tree in their lobby. I have no idea why my arms are like that. I didn’t realize I was doing it, actually. I hope I don’t unconsciously do that all the time.

Oh, and when we stopped at Taco Bell in Bowling Green, Kentucky, I happened to see this:

I wasn’t going to say anything, but you know how T is my enabler. He insisted we stop so that I could browse yarn and buy to my heart’s content. Okay, not that last part. But he did say “Yeah, we could spare the time to take a look, if you want.”

But, oh no…

Closed. (And only 20 minutes before!)

And look at all the yarn inside… calling to me… taunting me…

Monday, December 14, 2009

Happy Monday

And that's just it, Doc, my mind has always been my Achilles' heel!

Friday, December 04, 2009


Um... Pretty sure he'd say "Thanks, Mom" and wear the sweater at least once so she'd feel like her efforts weren't in vain.

This pic may not be historically accurate, but I like it anyway.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

The Goldilocks Of The Scarf World

True to form, I couldn’t begin this project just once. I started with one strand of Bernat Berella 4 and size 9’s. And the gauge was off. So then, size 11’s, but that didn’t look right. So then, 2 strands and size 10 1/2s. And that seemed to be just right.

But then, after a few inches, I thought “Wouldn’t this be even nicer with a soft, fuzzy yarn carried along with it? You know, something to just make it look soft and fuzzy?” So I added a strand of Moda Dea Dream in a light brown color. But that color just didn’t match.

Then I added a strand of Dream in black. But that made it so dark it negated the lovely variegation. So I decided against the fuzziness altogether. And that was just right.

So this is Bernat Berella 4 in Terra Cotta Mist on Size 10 1/2s. Pattern is Cameo Faggot Stitch Scarf. Took about 2 skeins for the scarf. This matches the Mystery Mitts.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

Well, not a lot, I guess. Just some. It’s not snowing or anything. And I don’t have the lights up on the house. (Are you kidding?)

But the building my office is in put up some decorations this week in the lobby. I like this one.

But why, oh why, must they put up a sign like this?

I can't help myself.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Mystery Mitts

Well, they are not such a mystery now…

I joined the Holiday Mystery Gifts knitting group on Yahoo. They do a lot of small project things, designed to get you knitting some Christmas gifts ahead. I actually joined last year, but just like last year I'm not really keeping up.

I like the idea of the KAL, just not the idea of the Mystery. So I usually wait until the mystery is revealed and then decide whether I want to knit it or not. I know. That's kind of cheating, but this way I don't mystery knit a sock.

Don’t get worked up, now. You are not going to convince me to like knitting socks, so just let it go, people.

So this is the mystery knit from a couple weeks ago. I have to say, I like this pattern a lot. It’s very interesting working side to side like this instead of bottom to top. But, if I had just worked the pattern without knowing what I was knitting, I would not have enjoyed knitting this thumb section. The whole SWS thing just seems awkward to me and I had to keep referring to the picture to actually do it. Seems like there should be a better way of getting the same effect. (Though every short row knitter I know uses this type of wrap, so I guess it’s the right way to do it.)

This is Bernat Berella 4 in Terra Cotta Mist, which is just the perfect amount of ombre for this pattern. (The color is closer to the color in the top pic, but you can see the pattern a little better on the second ond.) One skein for the mitts. That leaves me two for the matching scarf. These are going to be a Christmas present for Jill.

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