If you're not knitting, the terrorists win

(My mostly on-topic ramblings about knitting. And life in general. My life in specific.)

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Location: Indiana, United States

I'm a middle aged mother of 2 grown children and wife to a man who doesn't seem to mind my almost heroin-like yarn addiction. I spend my time writing, knitting, and generally stressing out.

Friday, March 31, 2006

Adam, I'm Sorry

I could hardly sleep last night. I kept thinking... What if Adam West were to read my blog entry from yesterday? What if he routinely Googles himself, just to see if people are talking about him, and he somehow came across my little blog? The blog in which I implied that he was not... uh... endowed. In the tights area. You know what I mean.

Adam has gotta be almost 80 now. What if I broke his old-guy heart with my insensitive package criticism? I couldn't live with myself.

Adam... I'm so sorry, man. I only said it to be funny. Really. I was in grade school when you were in the Batsuit. I didn't even look at you that way, okay? I actually thought you were pretty cool. Way cooler than Green Hornet, even. Check him out, people:

For the rest of you, I put together the other Batmans (Batmen?) so you could compare. You will notice that Adam is the only one confident enough to wear satin trunks instead of molded vinyl. (Which could be deceiving, I'm just saying.)

I am still wearing Kittyville. It is a sexy hat, after all. I decided to test its sexiness tonight. Here are T and Gracie and my semi-adopted son, S, a la Kittyville.

Speaking of T, I wanted to point out that, while he may not understand/laugh at my knitting jokes (A cop drives up alongside a woman who is speeding along, knitting. "Pull over!" He demands. "No," She holds up the needles to show him. "Cardigan."), he is still my addiction enabler yarn hookup biggest supporter.

I was cruising the Craftster boards the other day and came across a post about Dollar Tree having Bernat yarn. So we're out and about and find ourselves at Dollar Tree. Now, everything's a dollar there, you understand. So this is not a huge amount of money. But I'm cheap. (Seriously, if you know me, you know how cheap I am.)

So, I'm standing there, going "Oh, let me think... how many yards will I need for a sweater? If I do a long sleeve..." And he just gets a little basket and starts filling it. I know, they're only $1, but somehow it just seems decadent to walk out with 20 skeins of yarn.

Anyway, I've got a lovely white Ping Pong variety and a very interesting blue Voodoo. I'm thinking some kind of cardi for the white.

I have no idea what to do with the blue Voodoo. It's a strange yarn. Half smooth braid, half fuzzy inch-long fringe. I think this is the kind of yarn that can either make something very visually striking or something very... uh... fugly. Still, my money's on interesting. We'll see, won't we?

That's all for tonight. Happy knitting.

So Adam... are we okay now?


Did you ever knit something and then think, "What the heck were you thinking, Pat? This is a kid's hat! Your kids are pretty much grown. You don't even know any kids!" And then you think, "Ah, well. It's still a pretty cute hat."

So that one will go to the Fletcher House, along with most of the hats and scarves I will knit over the course of the year.

Except Kittyville. I had originally made Kittyville with M in mind, but when I finished it, I decided it needed my head. Check this out. This is me, trying to look all Julie Newmar. (You can tell Zeus is unimpressed.) Julie Newmar is my fave Catwoman, by the way. Sexy and bad. Way out of Adam West's league. (We know this, of course, because... well, let's just say they don't call those outfits "tights" for nothing.)

I really do look like Julie Newmar in real life, by the way. This camera justs adds, like, 40 pounds. It really sucks. No seriously, I guess I would be a very bad comic book villain. I tend to monologue. I see the scene going something like this:

Batman (Tied to a giant rocket to the sun or some comic book crap like that. The fuse is lit, and the viewer can see Batman struggling with his bonds behind his back): So, Patwoman, do you really think you can get away with this?

Patwoman (All puffed up with her bad self and totally unaware that Batman is just stroking her along.): Ha! Ha! Ha! Why, silly Batman, I already have! First I infiltrated NASA with my super intellect and my sexy catsuit...

Batman (Rubs the ropes binding his wrists against a Bat-Blade that he is able to somehow wriggle around and cause to eject from his Utility Belt behind his back.): Uh-huh. Go on.

Patwoman: Then I hijacked the Super Sun Rocket and ingeniously lured you here with those pictures of me in nothing but a hand-knitted hat...

Batman (Breaking free.): Ah ha, Patwoman! Once again, your self-aggrandizement is your downfall!

Patwoman: (Busted again.) Frack!

Batman (Slapping the Bat-Cuffs on her): Now you'll get exactly what you deserve, Patwoman.

Patwoman (Perking up at the sight of the Bat-Cuffs): Hmmmm. Well, that's good, too.

Okay. I have some strange fantasies. Where was I again?

Oh yes. The knitting. For my knitting blog. Thanks for reminding me.

Here's the Dayflower Scarf and the Feather Lace Hat I did.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking... Frack! Does this woman ever take a good picture? Sigh. It's the camera. I swear.

These are both done with Red Heart Super Saver acrylic that I had leftover from an afghan. (I always like to do afghans with acrylic so they are easy-care.) I had used like two inches out of the 8 oz skein, so I had plenty of this light blue to work with. The Dayflower, the Feather, and the Kid's Hat are all from this skein. I like the color and the pattern on both a lot. I think I will give these away though, and make myself one using mohair or something softer and fluffier.

Speaking of soft and fluffy... T and I were out today (No. Now don't go for the easy joke, people. It's not becoming of you.) T and I were out today and he treated me to some lovely Bernat. I will talk more about that tomorrow, mostly because my life is really not all that interesting and at least this way I know I'll have something to talk about tomorrow.

Props also to T for fixing the camera again (because I am a Tech Tard) so that I could post these pix for you. He wanted to make sure he got credit for it in my blog. I keep telling him, Sweetie, these people don't care what I do. (Jeez! I talk about Freudian dreams more often than knitting!) But you know T. He thinks I'm cute.

Can I pick 'em or what?

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Can I Ask You A Question?

I just titled today's entry that way because that's one of my pet peeves. I hate it when people ask me that. First, that is a question, Sweetie. It makes me want to say "Was that your question?"

Secondly, now, I don't want to give the impression that I'm some kind of a genius or anything. After all, I was educated in Indiana public schools. But I can usually tell the difference between a statement and a question. There's a little something I like to call vocal inflection that tips me off. Oh, and the way it seems to require a response from me. So, there's no need, really, to announce to me that you are about to ask me a question, is there? Just ask the question.

I wish you could see me. I'm five feet tall. I'm not imposing in the least. I cannot imagine that someone might feel they have to ask me persmission to ask me a question. What do you think might happen? Am I that scary?

That's what's on my mind. (I know you didn't ask. You see how that works? I didn't ask permission to tell you, either!)

Anyway, I must confess that I have inadvertently let you down, dear readers. I meant to load my photos from the camera into the fast PC and post them for you. But I didn't.

I could tell you that I worked instead, writing another 4,000 words on "Taking on City Hall."

But that would be a lie.

I actually slacked around, posting on the Craftster boards and cruising the net, looking for knitting porn. Oh, and I had a phone interview for a job today. So that was pretty cool.

And, I finished the Feather Lace Hat, too. So I will have lots of pix to share with you tomorrow. I'm wearing Kittyville again right now, too. I think it's going to become my "Thinking Cap."

Did you ever see Shakespeare In Love? And he (Shakespeare) has a little routine he does before he starts writing? Well, some writers are like that. We have our little routines. My routine, by the way, is to drink 3 cups of coffee, check my email, play an hour of Civ 3, two games of Spider Solitaire, and then start writing.

No, just kidding. There's a shower in there somewhere. Still, I get between 2 and 4K words down a day. Can you imagine what I could do if I had an ounce of discipline? But that's my day. Writing in the morning and afternoon. Knitting and housework in the evening.

I don't know what will happen when I go back to work. Do you think my new boss will be okay with me knitting on company time? What if I hide it when anyone walks by my office?

Why am I so wordy tonight? Wordy and not funny? I'm off my game, I guess. Maybe compensating for the lack of pix of FOs?

Oh, speaking of compensating (or speaking of funny, you choose): I had this dream last night... No, seriously, this really was a real dream, not just trying to be funny...
I dreamed I was running hurdles over those things that roast hot dogs (you know, those roller things) and they were filled with hot dogs. I woke up laughing. I asked my husband if he understood the symbolism, but he just gave me a funny look.

Monday, March 27, 2006

A Day of FOs!!

Yes, because I am sick sick sick of listening to Kittyville bitch at me. "Oh when am I going to get some ears? When will I get pom pons?" Okay already! Enough with the Telltale Heart guilt trip!

I finished Kittyville tonight while watching Science Channel. (I am such a nerd. I'm watching Europe In The Middle Ages, Walking With Dinosaurs, and Cosmos.)

Kittyville. Well, I must say, that is one sexy hat. Ooooh yeah! I'm wearin' it now, just because it makes me feel like rowr-rowr!

No pix right now because I am on the slow-ass computer. I will load tomorrow into the faster one, if T will wean himself away from Civilization long enough to let me.

Ha! I just said that, in case he reads this post! He'll be like, "Hey!" Because really, I am the one with the serious Civ addiction and he always offers the fast computer to me first and then I say, "No, go ahead. I'm watching Walking With Dinosaurs anyway." Ha! Ha!

The other day, he told me about this program he was listening to on NPR, about vocabulary. (Or, for those of us born in Indiana...wordeology.) The word was rail, meaning, to playfully fight.

So, I'm railing at ya, baby! That's right. How you like me now?

Okay, so I finished Kittyville. And I finished Dayflower. It too, came out really nice. It really is a fast knit. I probably would have finished it over the course of two nights, but I'm such a frackin' slacker. I will definitely make another of those.

It came out so cute, actually, that I'm a little sorry I didn't make it with a nicer yarn. I used a light blue acrylic, and it does look great, don't get me wrong. But I was thinking, boy, this would look nice in something like a mohair blend. But the light blue was on hand, and I wanted to try out the pattern first, so it all works out.

Plus, I have quite a bit of this light blue left, so I decided to make the matching hat. Well, similar hat. Similar in that they are the same color and both are some form of lace. Actually, it's the Feather Lace Hat from December 6, 2006 of the Knitting Pattern A Day Calendar.

You know what? I don't really care that the lace isn't matching. I think it's a pretty cool hat and I would totally wear it with the scarf.

Anyway, I'm about a third of the way into that.

I have also finished the pattern for Fuzzy Sexy Lingerie and Fuzzy 2. I have lots of pix for that, showing you my entire process. What I'd like to do is create a second page on my blog so you could link to that pattern from the sidebar once that day's entry is no longer visible on the screen. Does anyone know how to do that?

See how I did that? I asked a question to see if anybody answered. That's how clever I am. It's my way of finding out if anyone is reading my blog, without me sounding incredibly desperate about it. Actually, I suppose what that will really tell me is if anyone is reading my blog who 1) knows how to add another page and 2) is willing to respond to me.

But please respond. I really want to know how to do this. I have a couple of patterns I'd like to post.

So, to recap: FOs (Kittyville, Dayflower, Fuzzy pattern, and a good start on Feather. Oh, and I also cranked out some wordage on a short story I've been working on. (My little break from the larger projects.) Oh, and I got a call about a job interview. (Though no word from the one I did on Thursday.)

Still, not too shabby of a day. (Except M forced me to listen to The Black Eyed Peas "Pump It" over and over again while she practiced her dance routine. That made me wonder 1)Is she able to recover from bronchitis so easily because she's young? and 2)What the hell is that song about anyway?)

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Excitement Part Deux

So, T has been spreading his bird flu around here and he's finally feeling better. And, thankfully, it didn't last long with me. (R never gets sick. Must be the high concentration of OJ in his blood.) But M started feeling worse and worse all week. Yesterday, we finally ended up taking her to the ER.

Well, I took her to the dr. first, but they said take her to the ER so she could get a chest X-ray. So, we went there. Poor M is sleeping a lot, probably due to the codeine in the cough syrup they gave her. But at least she looks a whole lot better today.

Nothing funny to say today. (In case you think what I usually say is funny.)

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Oh, The Excitement Never Ends

I suppose you're all wondering what's happened to me these last few days, why I haven't been blogging. Yeah, right. Like anyone but me reads this!

Well, sweet, imaginary readers... Here is what is up. I have been out pounding the pavement, hitting the job boards, culling the classifieds. Yes, it is time for Pat to go back to work.

Yes, as much as I would love to stay at home and write and knit, I must re-enter the workforce so that I can buy shinbone polish and cuticle frames and candy for the children.

Besides, I think I am getting to the point where I would really appreciate some human contact outside of people I gave birth to or married. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love them and all. But they pretty much have to talk to me, don't they? Ha!

And none of you are talking to me, are you? So, really, you're all as much to blame for me having to search for a job as I--with my overwhelming urges to purchase yarn every time I'm in a craft store!

Mmmmmm. Yarn. Sweet, cuddly yarn. You'll talk to me, won't you? Yes. Yarn loves Pat. That's right. Yarn is my friend. Mmmmm.

Huh? What? Where am I? Oh yeah, job search.

I've often heard it said that you should find something you're good at, something you really enjoy, and then find a way to make money at it. No, I'm not even going to go for the easy joke with this one. But it does make me wonder.

Is there such a job as "Maker of stupid jokes that no one really laughs at"? (Knock. Knock. Who's there? Interupting Cow. Inter-- Moo.) No? How about "Person who makes sure the handle on the toilet gets jiggled so it doesn't run all night"? Is that a job? Because that seems to be the sum of what I am doing lately.

Oh, and bitching. I am really, really good at that. I wish there was a job for that. I would be the Sr. Vice President of Bitching. Wouldn't that be cake?

Meantime, I am stuck in this stupid Real World, where I am forced to operate within the guidelines of the Possible and the Likely. So, tomorrow, I will be out there job seeking again. And what will that get me?

PS: Here's my obligatory knitting comment: I am still working on writing up the pattern for the Fuzzy stuff, still struggling with Chaos, still braindead on Textured, still ignoring Style and Kittyville. I suck.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Tales From the Knitter's Bedroom

Yeah, that got your attention, didn't it?

Well, I'm not sharing the spicy stuff with you guys, sorry. (I'm *coughcough* years old, people. How spicy could it be, anyway? Believe me, if I wrote the Kama Sutra, it would be called Ow, You're On My Hair.)

What I will share with you is my progress on pattern-writing. (Pattern writing for the Fuzzy Sexy Lingerie. You remember that, from a few posts back, right?)

Well, I picked up the needles today to make another set and go over the pattern to make sure it was accurate before I posted it. I am also writing out the directions for some other sizes. And this second one uses a different lace pattern for the skirt portion.

It's pretty fun to do. Goes pretty quickly, too. My only real problem is that I just knit knit knit... Oh yeah, I guess I should've written that down.

I should have that completed tomorrow. Basically, I just felt like a total slacker today. I think I'm getting sick or something. (Damn it, I told T not to be coughing in the house. Look what he's done to me.) I've been so fracking tired all day today. I literally took a 5 hour nap and I feel like I could go back to bed right now.

Luckily T cooked dinner tonight. He made my famous beefy nachos, which are not really my nachos at all. They're Rachel Ray's. But she just seems like a really nice person and I know she will not mind that I make these at my house so often that everyone calls them "Mom's Beefy Nachos."

Oh, hey, you know what? My bro came to visit me this weekend. Just showed up on my doorstep. He lives about 100 miles away. So that was pretty cool. This is my bro who liked the afghan I knitted for him for Christmas. He even thanked me for it and said it was cool that I made it for him. That made me really happy.

Not that I knit stuff for people so they'll thank me. That's not what I'm saying. But I spent a lot of time this past year knitting really nice afghans for my two bros and my dad. I picked out patterns and colors and textures I thought they would like and I really thought about it.

My other bro sent me a mean letter because I left it on his porch with a note when he wasn't home. And my dad said "I don't want that."

But my younger bro was cool. Some time ago, he told me that Dad had gotten rid of his Christmas stocking. Mom made us all stockings when we were babies, you know. I still have mine. He told me he really missed having his. So I think I will make him one this year. Won't be the same as Mom's, but I think he will like it. And I want him to have something special so he knows I love him.

Oh, and I started a Dayflower Lace Scarf the other day. Because, you know, I'm just not happy if a single pair of my needles are sitting empty, I guess. It's a really easy pattern. I did about 6 repeats of the chart in a very short period of time. Then, I tried to do it while we played Earthdawn and I completely lost track. So I had to put it down and do something else during the game. (Have to do something with my hands or I start getting really fidgety and grouchy. Seriously.) Guess it's back to garter stitch or ribbed scarves for me.

So, currently on the needles: Chaos Sweater, Textured Raglan, Style Sweater (formerly known as "the green sweater." The pattern calls it "Style."), Kittyville, Fuzzy #2, Dayflower.

I found, hidden away in my stash, one skein of Sugar and Cream in a lovely spring-like color, so that is asking to become a spring purse. (Isabeau, if one skein is enough.)And I have some really nice (no label) pale blue mohair type that is begging to be abused by me. Oh, and the Moda Dea Ticker Tape that I really want to use for something, just not sure what. Every pattern I've seen, using that type of yarn, is a poncho of some sort. And I'm just not into ponchos.

Well, I am open to suggestions. If anyone has done anything really cool with ribbon yarn, I'd love to see it.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Thinking About Getting Some Cotton Yarn

I want to do some summery type things. Like this. Or this.

I did a simple tank top last summer, though, and it didn't turn out all that wonderful. It was a pattern from the 2005 Knitting Pattern A Day Calendar. A tank with a split back, so it was kind of open in the back.

I used Sugar N Cream cotton and got the correct guage. I swear. But it was all 1X1 ribbing, which I thought would make it pull in, be form fitting. Not so. It just kept growing.

So this thing was wiiiiiide. I mean, it was so damn wide, that in lieu of frogging the whole thing out (which, I think I've mentioned before, I hate), I decided to take off the back panels altogether, take off the i-cord straps, and just seam the front piece for about 4 inches to make it tube like, but still open in the back.

Then, I added 1" straps instead of putting the i-cord back on. (To cover bra straps.) And it fit. That's how wide that sucker was before.

But I'd like to make a summer top that doesn't require major surgery this summer.

So, anyway, it's St. Pat's day. My family has some Irish. (And Cherokee and English and Dutch. Typical American mutt.) So I'm in green. And I crocheted T a shamrock pin from this pattern, because he had a presentation today and was in the black on black outfit that looks so good on him. But, I didn't want him to get pinched. Keep your damn hands off my man!

That's not my shamrock. That's the pic from the pattern.

Do they do that in other countries, btw? Pinch you if you're not wearing green on St. Pat's day?

Because that seams like a stupid tradition, if you ask me. It doesn't relate to anything. Like, St. Pat supposedly rid Ireland of snakes. So, if you're not wearing green on St. Pat's day, maybe you should get whacked on the head with a snake. That makes more sense to me than pinching someone.

But I guess, that begs the question... Where the hell am I going to get a snake?

Friday, March 17, 2006

Harpo, Groucho, Chico and a Mean Old Dame

What's that from? Duck Soup, I think. Marx Brothers, at any rate. Here's how my train jumped onto that track...

I'm cruising the internet, looking at knitting porn, like always, you know. (It occured to me, as I was printing YET ANOTHER PATTERN... I'm never going to have time in my lifetime to knit all the patterns I've printed off. So, this was totally an exercise in... what? Futility? Disappointment?)

Today I printed a couple of vintage patterns I got from this site. I won't tell you which ones I printed. You can probably guess. I plan to mutate them horribly anyway. Mwah-ha-ha!

Oh, okay. It's the Vest and Panties pattern. Ha! I had so much fun with the lingerie I made up, I think I'll do some more. I'll have a whole knitted lingerie wardrobe. (Because that's just what I need... a bunch of FOs that no one but T will ever see.)

Hopefully. Just a piece of advice... if you knit a thong, don't leave it laying on the bookshelf in your bedroom. Your daughter could find it and then you'd have to listen to "WTH? Ew! I mean, Ew!" Jeez. I hadn't even worn them yet.

What? You think I just toss my undies up onto the bookshelf in the heat of passion? No, baby! I stuff those suckers into his pants pocket. "Come on, Hot Stuff! Lose the trousers or I'm startin' without ya!"

Ha. Ha. Lucky for me, my kids don't read my blog.

It's not true kids. It's fiction. Mommy's a writer, remember?

(my kids) *cough cough* I think I may have gotten a little carried away. Where was I?

Oh yes. Vintage patterns to Marx Brothers. I remember now.

Well, I go from that site to another and another and another... That's why I could never be a researcher. I'd love it. But I'd just start out researching something and then get distracted by something else, then something else. Pretty soon, I'd be so far off topic... Ooooh. Just like blogging.

Anyway, on one site, I see a pic of Harpo Marx. (Don't worry. I'd stopped thinking about knitted underwear LONG before I came across Harpo's pic.) And I read that, when they were not in character, he and Chico looked identical. Like, one time Chico is a guest on the TV show "I've Got A Secret." (No, I am NOT old enough to remember that. I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU KIDS NOT TO READ MOMMY'S BLOG!") Chico's the guest, but he's dressed as Harpo. That's his secret: He's not Harpo. And he totally fooled all the panelists, including Groucho!

I loved Marx Brothers movies when I was a kid. Something about them... Groucho is tame by today's standard, but back then I didn't know anyone who made such overtly sexual innuendo. Especially, when you consider my mom would actually say "The F Word" when she said the f word. As in, "So he told the guy he was going to kick his *(whispered) THE F WORD* butt."

Of course, I swear as if, as a child, I was lost at a truck stop and then raised by sailors. Who had Tourrette's Syndrome. I'm such an embarassment to my kids. I see myself as a much cooler Carol Brady. Here's how they see me:

Marx Brothers. Oh yeah.

So anyway, Groucho would crack me up: "I'm willing to fight for the lady's honor. I'm pretty sure that's more than she ever did."



I also read that Groucho, who had corresponded extensively with many literary giants, would end the most serious letter with a totally off the wall postscript. Classic. I gotta rent some Marx Brothers movies this weekend.

PS. Last night I dreamed I was naked and lost in a Cigar Store. What do you think that means?

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

The Bane of My Existence

Finally! I'm done with both the front and back of Chaos. Now I am starting on the sleeves. Here they are so far.

Why, oh why, does this sweater mock me? Is it the cables? No. I can knit cables. I love cables. Is it the randomness of the thing? Can't be. It's for my random-thinking hubby, T. So how can I object to that?

I don't know. I just feel like... SWEET JESUS, KILL ME NOW!!!!

Okay. Deep breath. Not that bad. But I do feel like a spectacular failure with this thing. It looks good. It feels good. I know T will love it. Sigh. I just want to be done with it.

I was a little encouraged today. It was like 35 degrees today. (Day before, it was 65. I was getting worried that there would be no more sweater wearing weather.) Oh well, maybe it's best.

Maybe, by the time I finish it will be too warm for wearing the Chaotic Demon Sweater From Hell. Then T can just thank me and kiss me and put that damn thing on the shelf for a few months until next winter. And maybe then I will have forgotten about how it drove me nearly insane. (*maniacal laughter* Knitting needles go stabby-stabby!)

Speaking of maniacal laughter...

Here is my other cat, Gabby. (Those of you who know Gab-Gab know why crazy talk reminds me of her.)

Gabby has yet to appear on this blog, but she spends a lot of time with me and my knitting, actually. She sits on my lap while I knit and hardly ever messes with yarn or needles. (Except that one time that I made catnip chili peppers for them and the yarn needle I used to sew the top must have retained some of the catnip odor, because... Wow.)

It's funny. I can leave my knitting, needles, yarn, whatever, laying out in the living room without fear of any cat getting into it. But... I made them catnip toys for Christmas. Catnip mice (from the SnB book), catnip fish (my own design), catnip eyeball (who else but me would design a catnip eyeball?).

Zeus and Gracie were a little confused by them. I suppose because they know DON'T PLAY WITH THE YARN, DAMN IT! *twitch twitch* They gave me looks like, "What the hell? Is this some kind of trick, Hu-mom?"

Oh, but Gabby... Oh man. Look at this thing.

This used to be a white mouse. You think maybe someone is trying to tell me something? This looks like a personal message:

Stop petting the yarn and start petting the cat!

Monday, March 13, 2006

The Adventures of Robin Hood

No, that's not another fantasy. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Saturday night, T and I joined some friends at the Artcraft Theatre to see the 1938 Errol Flynn movie, The Adventures of Robin Hood. The Artcraft is an old (1922) theatre near here. It closed down a few years back, but it was recently bought by a historical restoration society, who is currently trying to revive its Art Deco glory. Each week, businesses or individuals sponsor a different movie, usually something classic. The people who work there dress up in costume for the event. (Merry Men, Friars, Ladies, Villains)

Anyway, I'd seen this movie a quajillion times before. (You know, because I grew up in the sixties and seventies, so TV was my babysitter.) And it's fine, as far as that goes. First movie to use the multi-reel technicolor process, actually. But a big reason for going was to see the theatre itself and what the society had been able to do to it.

This is one of the theatres that T and I used to frequent when we were first dating. It was within walking distance of the college, and they had a "college night" every Wednesday, so we could see a movie for cheap. That was back when they were still showing first-run movies. I think we saw "Ghostbusters" there, among some others.

Anyway, so I'm kinda watching this movie, kinda watching the old ladies swoon over Errol Flynn
(I'm totally not kidding), kinda looking at the way they've repainted the textured walls to give it more of the Art Deco flavor (can't remember if they looked like that back when T and I used to go here)... and suddenly, onto the screen comes Ian Hunter, as King Richard the Lionhearted.

So I enthusiastically tug on T's arm and squeal into his ear, "That coif is knitted!"

Yes, I knew this. You see, I had recently been reading about how stage costumers often used painted knitted items for chain mail. Makes sense, I guess, since real chain mail would be extremely heavy. And, I would think, uncomfortable for cinematic or theatrical battles. (Honestly, no real crusader, dressed in a 60 pound mail shirt, is going to be swashing or buckling, am I right?) And also, I'd come across some patterns here for knitted chain mail thanks to my friends at Craftster.

And, since we will be attending GenCon again in August, I thought it would be cool to dress up for the costume contest. We've never dressed up before, in the twenty some odd years we've gone, but last year I made M a female Jack Sparrow-type pirate costume and she wore it and it was lots of fun. So this year, I'm thinking T and I should dress up.

So, I'd bought this pattern for T's costume:

and I had planned to knit a mail coif and shirt.

I was thinking my costume would look either Regal and Queenly... or Saucy and Wenchy.

What do you think?

At any rate, I'd done all this research, you see. So I knew what I was talking about. So I'm grinning and pulling at T and telling him "That coif is knitted!" and what does he say to me?

"You're a sick, sick woman."

Saturday, March 11, 2006

I Have This Fantasy...

No, not the one where I'm watching Mateo, the sexy Latin pool boy... The summer sweat creating an alluring sheen across his tanned, muscular torso... (But that is a good one, thanks for reminding me.)

No, today, my fantasies are a bit more tame. Boring, really. Today, I'm fantasizing about making something so absolutely beautiful that people--even non-knitting people--are amazed by it. "You made that?" They sigh as they touch it. "No way!"

"Oh yes." I say. "I certainly did."

Yeah, that's a fantasy. And at this particular moment, it's even more exciting than the fantasy that I'm dressed as a cowgirl, standing atop a speeding train, twirling my lasso over my head, as a hundred shirtless Marlboro Men (minus the cigs) cheer me on, waving their giant loaves of french bread at me as I thunder past...

Huh? What? Oh, sorry. I was somewhere else for a moment... What was I talking about?

Oh yeah. I don't know what it is these days. I'm just getting bored with what I'm doing. Maybe it's because I am working on so many long-form projects at once? Sweaters. Novel. Movie script. I find I keep having to switch to something quick--a hat, a scarf, a 5K word story--or I lose my momentum. I seem to go slower and slower.

Do I like what I'm doing? With the writing, yeah. I'm very happy with what I've got going. But the knitting... I don't know. I want the finished product. I'm just not sure I'm enjoying the process right now.

Chaos is just cable, cable, cable, CABLE, FRACK! If I have to do another cable I might do some serious harm to the world! And now... At this rate, I'm not even going to be done with the frackin' thing until summer. How do you like that? The one person who really, really likes my knitting, who really appreciates the work and the love that goes into one... And I haven't knitted anything for him in a while, so this is long anticipated... And it's something very special, just for him... And I just want to GRRRRRR-OOOOWWWF-RAAAARRH! CABLES!!!!

Okay, I'm back now.

Can you see my frustration here? Likewise, the Textured Raglan is giving me the flaming jimjams. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I am just braindead when it comes to doing the yoke of this sweater. It's not like I haven't done sweaters in the round. It's not like I've never joined the sleeves and then did raglan decreases. Ye Gods! I've done this for years! Why do I keep messing the fracking thing up?

Back to the fantasy... No, not the sexy hardbody brushing my hair as I soak in a luxurious bubble bath... the one about the knitting.

Hm. I can't remember what that was, just now, for some reason. Oh, whatever. I think I'll go take a bubble bath now...

Friday, March 10, 2006

Adventures in Blogland

You know, when I started this blog thing, I was pretty skeptical. I was like, "Who wants to hear what I have to say?" But then I started thinking... Hey, I'm a writer. Why do I write? Because people are beating down my door to see what I have to say?

I'm sorry. I was laughing too hard to type for a minute.

So, upon further consideration, I decided to go ahead with the blog idea, regardless of whether anyone else would ever read it. (And I think people are reading it, because the counter keeps going up. That can't all be me, right?) But anyway, I have been thinking that the reason blogging is so appealing to me is because I have, in effect, the best kind of audience. For one thing, you all came here to read what I have to say. (Silly people.) But for another thing, the blogisphere leaves me pretty much free to write about whatever I feel like, eh?

I mean, T is very supportive of the knitting. He's my enabler, actually. ("It is nice yarn. Why don't you get some, honey? Couldn't you make something out of this?") But, I fear he only pretends to get my knitting jokes. Like when I say "Master SSK is in the hizzy!"

Ha. Ha. Ha. Oh, that cracks me up every time.

But here--here--I am uninhibited. I can say whatever I want about whatever I feel like talking about. Oh yes. I can throw off the bonds of writing structure. I can shrug away the fetters of social etiquette. I can break away from what the dull, plodding world thinks is normal and (dare I say) sane.

I can say whatever I want.

Turns out, though, that I have nothing really to say at this time. But it's nice to know I can say it if I want to. (Kisses!)

Wednesday, March 08, 2006


(Suggestive laughter!) So I finally finished the Fuzzy Sexy Lingerie.
This is my own creation and I must say, I'm pretty pleased with the way it turned out. It's done with yarn from my stash, nothing I planned. And I kind of made it up as I went along. But... I'm happy with it.

I'm thinking of doing this one again, with some mods. 1)I think it should be a little longer. This one touches the hip bones and shows a little belly between the top and the bottom. (Who am I kidding? If I had a little belly, that would not be an issue!) 2)I'm just not into thongs. Granted, you're not wearing one for very long, but I think the next one will have a full panty. 3) I'm really not going to worry that much about stockingette stitch vs garter stitch with the eyelash yarn. You really can't tell. I also would not worry about K2 tog vs SSK.

I did try to write out the pattern as I went, but you know how that goes. It's knit one, knot one, rip one, drop one. So who knows. I guess I will have to make another one now. Oh, darn it. My husband just hates it when I have new lingerie.

Yeah, right.

What's pretty funny about this get up... The bra cups are warm. I tried it on and I was like, "MMM. Nice."

Know what else is funny? I've got a crapload of this eyelash yarn just sitting here, next to my knitting chair. Mwah-ha-ha-ha!

Monday, March 06, 2006

I've got to spend more time working

...and less time knitting. Really. I'm completely stalled on all projects because I'm obsessing over my knitting. How bad is that?

Yeah, okay. There's probably some measure of "fear of rejection" in there, too. But for the most part, it's just me, frackin' around and not getting anything else done. Actually, we've been posting on my writing group about bad reviews and I mentioned my worst rejection. I think it actually said something like I was going to go to hell for writing that particular story. It was harsh. Ha! Ha! So then, it occured to me that I really haven't even looked at that manuscript since then. Maybe there is something to this fear of rejection thing.

Maybe that's why, instead of paring down my synopsis for submission or finishing the last two scenes of the script I hope to shoot this summer, I started another frackin' Anthro Capelet???

And, I'm almost done with it, too. If only I could channel that same energy into other things. Like work. Or the laundry.

If only I would use my powers for good...

Fat chance of that happening though. Two full hours of 24 tonight... That's another scarf or hat. (Can't knit anything other than a scarf or a hat or I might look away and miss something!)

Yeeeow! Almost 8 now! Byes!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

A FO! (But not Kittyville or Chaos)

So I finished the Anthropologie-Style Capelet last night. Had M try on today. Decided it may be a tad small, frogged a bit, reknit. Now I think it will work.

I swear, that is such a fast-working pattern! I so want to do another. I think I will do one for M's friend, M2. She will look good in one, too.

I hate to frog. No, I know. Nobody likes it. And, I would rather frog back than have something I wasn't satisfied with. I guess frogging just makes me feel like I've been wrong, like I've made a mistake. I hate that.

I want to do something like this capelet for myself, but I just don't think it will look right on me. I've seen a couple of top-down raglan sweaters I like... Glampyre has a couple I really like. Maybe I will adapt one for myself.

Of course, it was like 63 degrees today. Almost out of sweater-wearing weather. (Not that warm weather really stops me from knitting them...except this summer when the AC was broken and I couldn't even think about touching yarn without my hands getting all hot and sweaty. Yeee-uck!) Maybe I should start looking at some light, lacy, short sleeved tops?

Except for a shrug. I will knit another shrug. Before August. I'll be going to GenCon again in August. Last year, it was so frackin' hot that I was wearing shorts and tank top. But then, inside the convention, it was so frackin' cold (especially the one room I was in most of the time!). I went home that first night and knitted an Everybody's Doing It Shrug from Craftster, which is a pretty quick knit, basically a scarf with the ends seamed into tubes for sleeves. That really helped a lot. But this year, I want something that looks a little more stylish.

Oh, whatever. I guess I'm rambling.

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