If you're not knitting, the terrorists win

(My mostly on-topic ramblings about knitting. And life in general. My life in specific.)

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Location: Indiana, United States

I'm a middle aged mother of 2 grown children and wife to a man who doesn't seem to mind my almost heroin-like yarn addiction. I spend my time writing, knitting, and generally stressing out.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Baby Bunny Hat

Baby Bunny Hat
Bernat Soy in Celery (or other color) less than 1 skein
#4 dpns (or whatever you need to get guage)
4.5 st = 1"
Cast on 48 st. Divide on 3 needles. Join.
Work in stockingette stitch (K all rows) in the round for about 4 1/2 inches.
Begin decreases:
K2 together, K6* repeat across (42 st)
K 1 row
K2 together, K5* repeat across (36 st)
K1 row
K2 tog, K4* repeat across (30 st)
K1 row
K2tog, K3* repeat across (24 st)
K1 row
K2tog, K2* repeat across (18 st)
K1 row
K2tog, K1*repeat across (12 st)
K1 row
K2tog across (6 st)
Break yarn and thread through remaining stitches. Pull tight and secure on the inside of hat.
Ears: (make 2, of course. Unless you want a weird looking bunny. Your choice.)
Cast on 3 st.
Purl one row.
Next row: K1, M1, K1, M1, K1
Work next 3 rows in stockingette stitch.
Next row: K1, M1, K3, M1, K1
Work next 3 inches in stockingette stitch.
Next row: K1, M1, K5, M1, K1
Work 1 1/2 inches in stockingette stitch.
Next row: K2tog twice, K1, K2tog twice (5 st.)
Purl one row.
Next row: K2tog, K1, K2tog (3 st.)
Purl one row.
Bind off.
Sew ears to top of hat. I went about a half inch down from the center on either side of the hat.
Roll brim to desired... uh... rolliness.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Big Damn Kitten Hat

You know he deserves it. He's such a tough guy.

Dr. says he has to stay off that leg. He is still too young to sedate to splint that leg. Growing like a wild thing and still only 19 oz!

Now, I've made several of these. For me. For T. For R. For M. For a couple of friends. But, if ever there was a cat who was gutsy enough for a Jayne Hat, it has to be Achilles.

Take a very small amount of yarn in dark red, pumpkin, and gold. I made up the pattern as I went along...and I wrote it down this time! You see? And they said I couldn't learn nothin'! If I have written my html correctly, you should see a link on the sidebar to the pattern.

In case you want to make your own kitten hat.

Took me about half an hour to knit. Probably would've gone quicker if I had not had so much help.

What is it with cats and yarn, anyway? I imagine a big Cat vs. String Monster War, long before Rise of Man on this planet. Now, that hatred of yarn is part of the cat psyche, part of the collective memories of Cat.

Anyway. Fun to knit. Fun to see the kitten in the hat. Not so much fun to try and put it on him so you can take a picture.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

R's Hat Of Madness

So called, because of the halo of Cthulhus on it. (And if that's not an oxymoron-halo of Cthulhus-I don't know what is!) And we all know what the big, bad C does, once he gets into your head.

It's a Christmas gift for R. But I have no worry of him finding out, really. R & M don't read my blog because of all the:
and and and and

Pattern is Cthulhu's Unspeakable Hat from Finlay Logan. Yarn is Bernat Satin in Ebony and Forest Mist Heather. Less than one ball of each.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Cat Bed

Achilles has made M a slave to his whim. She is literally at his beck and call.

Meow! Oh, let me pick you up.

Meow! Oh, let me give you some kitten milk.

Meow! Oh, let me hold you again.

Meow! What's that? Fancy Feast? You want more Fancy Feast?

Meow! Okay. I'll hold you again.

That's probably not completely fair. We are all spoiling him. But he is sleeping in a box in M's room, beside her bed.

His leg is fractured, remember? So the vet says he has to be
1) separated from the others, who are much bigger and who might accidentally hurt that leg, and
2) confined as much as possible, so he won't go wandering around and walking on that leg. (Doc says he is too little to splint the leg, or to give any pain meds, so he will just have to tough it out.)

So M made a little bed for him in the box. It's one of the scarves I knit for her. She says it's softer than the towel I gave him and she wants Achilles to have a soft bed. I'm okay with that.

I'm just not okay with this:

Where's our hand-knitted beds?

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Why Patwoman Remains A Hardened Cynic

People make me sick. Oh, not all people, just assholes. Listen:

Yesterday, T was at work downtown. As he and a group of people left for lunch, a car sped by. The people in the car threw some trash out the window onto the street.

Then, T noticed... It wasn't trash. These assholes threw a live kitten out of the window of a moving car into downtown traffic!

WTF is the major malfuntion with someone who does that?!

Poor kitten was terrified! T ran into the traffic (my hero) and grabbed up the kitten and brought it back to his office. And now we have a new kitten.

Of course, GabGab is not happy about that at all. She's been ignoring me since I got back from Origins. But now that there is a new cat in the house, she is a little more of a lap cat again.

Took him to the vet and he appears to be very healthy, except for the fractured back leg he got when some asshole threw him out of a moving car and the road rash on his paws he got from such an abrupt landing. He's tough, this cat. To take so much abuse and only come out of it with a broken leg.

We named him Achilles, of course.

But again, I have to ask, what the hell is the matter with someone who treats a live animal like that? If you don't want a cat, there are places you can take it where it can be adopted by someone who wants it.

I have to say, I think someone who throws a baby animal out of a moving car is someone who would likely hurt a person, too. Does the word sociopath mean anything to anyone?

Friday, July 04, 2008

She Is Gone, Alas. Let All The Bells Toll.

The Patmobile II is no more. Listen:

You know that feeling you get when you oversleep and are 2 hours late to work and then you spend all day desperately (and only somewhat sucessfully) trying to catch up? And then you skip lunch and stay late so you can at least start the next day without that horrible feeling of waking up with the house on fire?

And then you refrain from all the road rage-inspired curse words your mouth is just begging you to verablize but your stupid, guilt-ridden brain won't let you because deep down you feel like you deserve to be stuck in traffic because, after all, you were 2 hours late to work today.

And then you stop at a red light because, you know, it's a red light. And a school zone. And there's cross traffic that might nail you. And there is a cop just 3 cars back (who apparently didn't notice the way you were speeding through the school zone, but who would probably not let slide running through a stoplight).

And then, when the light finally turns green, the car just stays there. No movement. No forward. No reverse. No low gears. Nothing. Zip. Nada. Nil.

And then, you block the effing traffic for about, oh, forever until someone can come and help you move the @#$%^&@# thing off the road. (The nice policeman did stop traffic long enough for us to do that.) And oh, doesn't everybody love to look at the person with their hazard lights on?

No, it's not out of gas. Don't you think I know to put gas in the car? And no, turning it off and then back on again didn't help. It doesn't help my Dell Piece Of Shit Computer, either. And yes, my car did die on me. Thanks for noticing.


Oh, and then, you can wait for the effing tow truck to come and get your car, which you parked, by the way, in the nearest parking lot you could push the car to. Which just happens to be a substance abuse recovery facility.

That's a treat.

Oh, and then, the transmission guys can tell you the car will cost more to repair than to replace.

You know how that feels? Yeah. You just shake your head and say, "Oh good one, Universe. You really got me there."

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Why Patwoman Loves The Summer

Another mini-vaca. Another Con. I had never been to Origins, either. But it's in Columbus, OH, just half a tank of gas away. So why not?

It's bigger than MarCon by about 10 times. Still smaller than GenCon, but a decent Con, I must say. No celebs there for me to stalk, sadly.

Oh, Adam. Why do you run from our love?

But lots of games. And you know I love games. Especially zombie games. (Plastic zombies, not real ones. Although I might someday like to take on real zombies. I think I'd do pretty well against them. I've seen all the movies and read all the literature and played all the games. So I think I could do at least as well as Alice.)

So I played this new game, Humans!!!, by the creators of Zombies!!! Actually, T and I played with the creator's son. So he was able to give us some insight into the game's creation and the creative thought process.

Here's how the game works: You are a zombie and you have to attack and eat the humans in the city. I bought this game, I liked it so much.

I spent way too much in the dealer room. I always do. But there is always so much to see. (I don't know why so many people want to sell me a corset, though. Come on!)

One vendor had the most awesome Browncoat coat. Lots of games. Lots of swords. Lots of movies, t-shirts, and minis. And this:

I got to see a lot of friends there, too. Here's Mac from PST with T. He had a fantastic event called Terrorwerks going on. They sold it out continually. If you get a chance to play this, do.

And here is my old friend Pikachu!

And here, my fav knight in the gladiator ring. (He's not really beating up that little girl. He was actually showing her how to battle.)

And then, of course, there were those who took advantage of the fact that Adam West was not in attendance.

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