If you're not knitting, the terrorists win

(My mostly on-topic ramblings about knitting. And life in general. My life in specific.)

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Location: Indiana, United States

I'm a middle aged mother of 2 grown children and wife to a man who doesn't seem to mind my almost heroin-like yarn addiction. I spend my time writing, knitting, and generally stressing out.

Sunday, October 29, 2006


Episode 302

When we last left our intrepid Patwoman, she was in the evil clutches of Cluttered Purse, the smart-looking but insidious handbag. Cluttered Purse had lulled Patwoman into a false sense of well-being, with its lovely leather styling and matching change purse and zipper pull.

Little did Patwoman know, but her cell phone--the only means she has of communicating with the outside world if she were ever trapped inside the Patmobile with malfunctioning windshield wipers or a flat tire or any myriad of other ailments that might afflict an aging auto!--was being brutally battered by the barrage of bits that are banging around in Cluttered Purse.

But Patwoman is nothing, if not resourceful. Armed with nothing more than scraps of yarn and knitting needles, she quickly devises a cell phone cozy--a padded protector of precious electronics, a humble homage to her heroic he-foe.


Adam... Call me.

The One Where Patwoman Goes To Renee's Birthday Party

So Renee's party is a tailgating party at IU, during the IU/MSU game. (No, we didn't watch the game. We just sat in a field and partied.)

Strange situation, that.

One, I worried that we were the oldest people there. Been a long time since I was in college. But we weren't the oldest. I saw one group of people who were probably older. The rest, of course, were drunken college students. Nice to see college parties have not changed much since I went.

Two, we were drinking in the morning. Now my mama always told me it was pretty tacky to drink before 4pm. And drinking before noon was just not done. We started at 9:30 am. Don't worry, Gentle Reader, Patwoman did not drink a lot. You know she fears the loss of control. Besides, it's much more fun to watch others, isn't it?

One of the ladies I met at the party was a knitter, too. It was fun to talk knitting with someone who actually cared. Kind of funny, too, when people would walk over to see what we were talking about so intently. And then, when they realized, that look of disgust on their faces. Like, "Who comes to a party to talk about knitting?" Ha!

Of course, I knitted Renee a little something for her birthday. She knew exactly what to do with it.

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Monday, October 23, 2006

Ah, Monday.

Actually, it's a pretty typical Monday. Wake up feeling too tired to live. Go to work feeling like the walking dead. Hit all the lights on the way to work and on the way home (bonus!)... But there is new Prison Break tonight. So, have no fear, I will carry on.

You know I loves me some Prison Break. Them boys is pretty!

Patwoman: Hold it right there, boys. No one escapes a fictitious maximum security prison, travels cross-country and digs up $5 million and then gets away on my watch.

Wentworth: But I'm really a good guy, Patwoman. Have mercy.

Patwoman: No, not even an incredibly pretty and clever architect, such as yourself.

Wentworth: But I had to save my brother, Patwoman. Have mercy.

Patwoman: Brother, eh? Where is this alleged bro-- Have mercy!

What's up with the knitting, you ask? Well, finished the Giant-Needle Afghan.
Perfect for those cooler nights, when all you want to do is curl up on the couch and watch pretty (and falsely imprisoned) boys running away from the law. Here's a close up of the moss stitch.

And I am working on Christmas scarves. Even though I said I wasn't doing any Christmas knitting this year.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006


You say it's your birthday


It's my birthday too--yeah


They say it's my birthday


We're gonna have a good time


I'm glad it's my birthday


Happy birthday to me.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Knitting With Telephone Poles

Wow. Working with knitting needles the size of baseball bats, the knitting does go pretty quickly.

I've only been working on this afghan a little bit for a couple of evenings. Not even every evening. And it's pretty much halfway done. I'm getting about a 1st=1" guage, so yeah. It goes pretty quick.

It just feels awkward as hell to hold the needles in my whole fist.


I do like the texture of this, though. And warm... Whoa baby! That thing is warm! I'm using 4 strands here, so I don't think being warm is going to be an issue.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Party Animals

Okay. This is not knitting, but you know how I've been promising production stills, once we start shooting the film?

These are not them.

But they are pictures I took on location, especially for this blog. I call this episode:

For Your Pleasure

You see, we were shooting at a fun park--one of those places with go karts and pizza and this miniature golf course. I had to take pictures. I'll let you figure out why.

Oh, and last night I started an afghan, using those big-ass size 50 needles.

That's a totally unrelated topic, by the way.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Mmm Toasty

It's supposed to snow here in Indianapolis tonight. (We'll see, though.) So I whipped these up to keep my feet warm. I used the Ridiculously Easy Mary Jane Slippers pattern from Craftster. Took a couple of hours to knock these out.

That's a particularly welcome FO for me, since I am not having very much luck with my knitting lately.

Oh yeah, the scarves are coming out fine. But the Ribbon Tank that I did a while back is still languishing away on the Island of Misfit Knits because I don't like the way the neckline lays and I am just too frustrated to reknit it.

And that chunky knit vest is just... not right. It's too short. And the armholes are too small. If ever there was a sweater crying out to be frogged...

So what now? Rip out and reknit? Grrr. Maybe I should just stick to scarves.

Oh, is it wrong to make my cat eat a Super Hot Hot Chili Pepper For Chili?

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Ow! My Hands Are On Fire!

So I'm harvesting peppers from my garden. I grew lots of them. Green bell peppers. Red. Yellow. Purple bell peppers. Chilis. Haberneros. Something called Super Hot Hot Chili Peppers For Chili. And right now is apparently the peak time for peppers. I am pulling them out of the garden faster than I can use them.

That's okay, though. I'm cutting them up and freezing them. I will have pepper this winter, baby! No longer will I be held hostage by the Evil Pepper Consortium!

(I spent the earlier part of the summer making sun-dried tomatoes, so I will not be held hostage by the Evil Tomato Consortium, either.)

But sheesh! Are those peppers strong or what? I had to stop a few times because of the teargas-like fumes that were making it difficult to breathe. And then, even though I washed my hands thoroughly several times (and coated them in baking soda to neutralize the pepper oils), my hands were burning!

Literally. Felt like fracking sunburn. I used Panama Jack Cooling Aloe (because, being fair skinned, I alway have that stuff around) on my hands and still...

No knitting today. I just have to remember not to rub my eyes. Or any place else.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Look What Happens...

When you use a bulky yarn and big needles!

I've been on a scarf binge lately, Christmas presents. (They're not blocked, so you will have to wait to see them, sorry.) I've done some froofy ones and some plain ones and Dayflower and Lattice Lace ones.

But I am hung up on Arches and Columns. Not hung up, like I can't do it. Hung up, like I'm tired of doing it.

So yesterday, while I watched the Colts game (YAY COLTS!), I banged out the front and half of the back of a vest. The yarn is Patons Pebbles, which has a pretty cool texture to it.

For those of you who are interested, Blamey's boy tracked down a garden gnome for me. One down, one to go. I'm excited to start filming.

By the way, is it bad to make my cat eat green tomatoes?

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