If you're not knitting, the terrorists win

(My mostly on-topic ramblings about knitting. And life in general. My life in specific.)

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Location: Indiana, United States

I'm a middle aged mother of 2 grown children and wife to a man who doesn't seem to mind my almost heroin-like yarn addiction. I spend my time writing, knitting, and generally stressing out.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Friday FO

So, as you know, I've been working on this particular scarf for a while. It's been my project for those times when I can't work on Christmas Knitting. And it is finally finished.

This is one 200 yd skein of acryllic and some pony beads. Pretty simple garter stitch vs stockingette stitch pattern. I did three rows of beads on each end. Honestly, the hardest part about knitting this scarf was trying to determine when to start knitting the beaded end after knitting the body. (I finished, btw, with 6 inches of yarn left.

That's right. Who's bad?

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Not Knitting - I Wear Feathers Now. Feathers Are Cool.

I've been seeing a lot of feathers lately. Reminds me of those clips we used to put in our hair back in the late 70's. Only those were actually roach clips and we just said they were hair clips.

Oh, I mean, some people used them for that. Of course, I only put them in my hair. (Calm down, kids. I told you, never read Mommy's blog.)

Anyway, feathers are cool now, so I thought I'd make some feathered earrings like I'm seeing all the young hipsters wearing these days. Turns out, it's pretty easy to do, so I ended up making three pairs while watching an episode of Doctor Who On Demand.

See those bottle caps there in that last photo? I experimented with some Dimensional Magic and made some keychains. This is Lilliana and Jace. I also made an Innistrad symbol, Ajani, and Chandra keychain. We gave all of these away at our huge Innistrad Pre-Release Event. They were a big hit.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Shopping Trip

I found this new yarn the other day at Joann. It's Martha Stewart Craft Yarn. It's an uber thick yarn with a cotton (?) thread wrapped around it. I don't know what you would use such a yarn for, but it was really cool looking. There was a piece of it knitted into a choker, maybe, hanging next to the shelf. Very interesting.

Joann had a number of new yarns--or at least yarns that I hadn't seen before. These were novelty-ish yarns--nothing too crazy--probably designed to appeal to the Christmas gift scarf knitter. (I say that because M picked out several yarns for me to knit scarves for her.)

M and I also found a pokey hand at the Dollar Tree. (Okay, this is probably an M&M hand, but it's pretty useful for poking.)


Monday, September 26, 2011

A Letter From AW

My Dearest Patwoman,

On the rooftop of the Helskinki Museum of Art
You shattered my heart with joy
A shard of my heart fell into your hands
A shard of my heart lodged in that magical place and time
A shard of my heart wrapped itself around you like a W&T stitch
A shard of my heart is inexplicably lost to me forever
There are too many shards of my heart

I have fallen to pieces over you

With passion and love,



Sweet Adam,

I fear I can no longer stay away. Your terrible poetry is winning me over, despite myself. I think I can last maybe 26 days. No longer.

What shall I knit for you?

With love,


Sunday, September 25, 2011

Patwoman's Job Hunting Tips

I'm just going to give you one tip this month, but it's an important one. In fact, I'm going to go so far as to say it's the most important tip you could ever get for your job hunt:


Sure, that seems like it would be an easy thing to do. I can hear you scoff. "Really, Patwoman. Don't you think you're oversimplifying?" Well no, scoffer. I don't.

Okay, yes. I am looking for employees who stand out. I want employees who distinguish themselves. But let's be clear--I want them to be memorable for positive reasons. You want to be memorable for positive reasons. Hey, I like to occasionally vandalize a sign or two buck the system as much as the next person, but the time for that is later, when you already have the job. When you are looking for a job, you want to demonstrate a certain amount of conformity. It shows you can follow directions and obey the established rules.

Take, for example this conversation I had with a candidate who was supposed to take a company-mandated test at another location:

"Patwoman, I don't know the address of where I'm supposed to go."

"It's 5603 Raymond Street."

"Oh wow. I'm nowhere near that."

"Do you have the map I emailed you? Or the directions?"

"No. I didn't print it. I didn't even read it. I just deleted it."

"What? I told you on the phone yesterday I was sending the email and you should print it because it had a map. And remember I told you the address then. Didn't you at least write it down? Were you just hoping to remember it?"

"No, man. I can't remember stuff."

This conversation went on, in the same vein for a bit. Needless to say, I didn't hire this guy. See what not following directions gets you?

Okay, I've ranted a little here, but it's my blog the advice is sound. Sure, everyone has their own personality--that's actually the best part of my job, talking with so many different people. But at work, everyone has to play by the rules. Yes, be creative. But be smart about how that creativity manifests itself.

And if I send you an email with directions and a map... don't delete it.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Patwoman KIPs

I've been watching a lot of Discovery Channel lately. And Science Channel. You know that deep down, I'm kind of a secret Sci-Geek, right. (Okay, it's not so secret.) I've been fascinated with anything with Dr. Michio Kaku, actually. He's my new awesome hero.

Apparently, he recently appeared at a con or two and spoke about things like FTL travel and warp drives and transporters and the like. I wish he'd been/will be at any of the cons I go to. I would love to ask him a ton of questions. (If anyone sat in on one of those seminars, lmk. I'd love to hear about it.) I'm intrigued by the whole philosophy of physics, although I don't claim to understand very much of it.

T and I actually had a discussion the other night, where I admitted that I had no real concept of how big the universe is, because once you get beyond a certain point, the basis of comparison becomes unreal to me. So, the size of the universe (and let's not even take into consideration its continual expansion) is, literally, bigger than I can imagine.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Friday UFO

This time of year it's always a little difficult to get any knitting done. First, because I'm really kicking into gear with Christmas knitting about now. But, my family seems to have finally caught on that I sometimes knit their gifts right in front of them without them even knowing. Now, if they see me knitting this time of year, they notice.

So, I have to do my Christmas knitting when that particular person is not around. And some days, they're all here. So that necessitates another, neutral project. Like this scarf.

This is my Everyone Is Here But I Still Need To Be Keeping My Hands Busy With Something Scarf. It's just a worsted weight yarn with some beads. Pretty straight forward stockingette and garter stiching. And these are pony beads, so they threaded on super quickly. I'm using #6 needles.

Sharon has claimed this scarf, prompting M to "custom order" a similar one. Which is ok, since I will need another Everyone Is Here But I Still Need To Be Keeping My Hands Busy With Something Scarf between now and Christmas, I'm sure.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Episode 42: Patwoman Refrains From Elbow-Smashing Her Computer From The Top Rope

...and instead, opts for a Boston Crab submission hold.

So, the continuing saga of Patwoman's virus-ridden dinosaur of a computer... uh... continues.

The internet demons inside this infernal machine have kept me away from you long enough! I have fortunately been able to discover a back door solution (That's right, laugh. Double entendre is the highest form of humor.) that will let me post again.

Obviously, the trick is going to be fixing/replacing this beast before it has a chance to break my hold, get back up on the mat, tag out, or some other lame wrestling metaphor.

Stay tuned.

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