If you're not knitting, the terrorists win

(My mostly on-topic ramblings about knitting. And life in general. My life in specific.)

My Photo
Location: Indiana, United States

I'm a middle aged mother of 2 grown children and wife to a man who doesn't seem to mind my almost heroin-like yarn addiction. I spend my time writing, knitting, and generally stressing out.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Stay Tuned

Gah. My home computer has blown up. (Not really. But I might do damage to it myself if I can't get this virus removed.)

At any rate, I'm not able to use it. And they kinda frown on blogging from work. (Left a window open on a news site for an hour and a half last week and got a shitty email from corporate, reminding me of our Information Systems User Agreement.) And since my iPhone and I have a love/hate relationship, I probably won't go that route, either.

But I AM coming back. Just hang in there for a bit...

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Still Coasting Along

So, did I mention that R is moving out, too? Yeah. I go from full house to empty nest all in the same month. FML.

Anyway, these are the coasters I am making for his place. Like the ones I did for M, they are all bordered on all sides with garter stitch, but different in the center. So far, I have 3 of the 4 planned coasters done. (Seed Stitch, Double Moss Stitch, Stockingette Stitch)

These are knit from Sugar 'n Cream cotton, so I guess you could always use them to wipe up a spill if you needed to.

A note here: you know I have said many times that I don't enjoy knitting with cotton... It is still not my fave, but I was not bothered by working with it over these last two projects.

Maybe the quick knitting offsets the feel of the fiber?

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Coasting My Way To A FO

Small projects are pretty satisfying. It's a chance to use a small amount of yarn, or to test out a stitch, or to keep your hands busy while you do something else. Such is the case for me during our weekly gaming session.

In case you've never gamed with me--and I'm thinking most of you haven't. I probably would remember something like that--I tend to get fidgety and disruptive when it is not my turn someone is taking a really long time to decide what they are doing on their turn, and hence, holding up the game.

Knitting keeps me occupied.

It keeps me from, say, having my character bust down a door even though the door is clearly marked "guard dormitory" and the party can hear the voices of two dozen guards behind it.

So, this week, I knit some coasters. Some orange coasters to match the accessories in M's new apartment. Yes. You heard that right. M is moving out to her first apartment.

And how do I feel about that? Well, it might be time to fire up the ol' Booze Hag Brewery again.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

If I Were...

...an ice cream cone, I'd be a scoop of Rocky Road in a sugar cone. You're having a good time, eating your chocolate ice cream, thinking you're so exotic because your chocolate ice cream isn't plain chocolate ice cream. You're thinking, "Oh, I've got such a handle on the extraordinary... Look at me, anticipating all the changing textures of chocolate ice cream, nuts, and marshmallows."

And then, boom! WTF? There's a scoop of Black Cherry mushed down underneath the Rocky Road! Didn't expect that, did you? And what's more, there's a hole in the tip of my cone and I've been leaking all over your shirt this whole time!

...a balloon, I would be a red balloon. Then I'd swear that not only was the song "Up, Up, and Away" written about me, but that "99 Luftballons" was written about me, too. (Only about how cool it would be if there were 99 of me.)

...a tool, I'd be a hammer. Because man! Those things are useful! Pound nails in stuff. Open jars. Open doors. Crack walnuts. Fix things. Break things. Get someone's attention real fast. No, that last one was a joke. Ha. Ha.

...a carpet, I'd be a vintage orange shag. Yeah, that's right. You gotta have a sense of humor. Or at least not give a @#$%&* what anyone else thinks.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Not Knitting

Gah. So I tried to take my doctor's advice and try to get some exercise. It was brutal. Sweet Lord, I really can't see how that would be good for anyone. I think Ima die.

The main issue I have is that I'm overweight, exhausted, and have high blood pressure my knees. Oh, man, my poor knees hate me right now. How did that happen? I used to have such a good relationship with my knees.

People tell me "It takes time, Patwoman. You'll get used to it." But, you know, do I really want to get used to it? Four years ago, I very nearly elimated red meat (okay, I eat red meat once a week). I guess I'm used to that now.

But I don't like it.

And a year ago, when I found out my blood pressure was high, I cut back on salty foods. I guess I'm used to that, too.

But I don't like it.

And now? All this moving around? All this sweating? All this exertion? Yeah, maybe eventually I will get used to it.

But I don't see how anyone can like it.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

A Letter From AW

Dearest Patwoman,

Spring is in the air, my Witty Kitty. The birds are singing. Daffodils are blooming. And all around, the world is bursting with life. You realize, of course, that all of this vivacious vitality, all this spectacular energy, only sharpens my desire for you, and makes the memory of our time together that much sweeter.

Oh, Patwoman! How I long for the excitement of those spirited Helsinki nights! Mere crime fighting pales in comparions to the thought of you, my villainous vixen, reclining in a field of spring flowers, knitting needles in your hand, Batarang in mine...

Do you remember what you told me, Dear Patwoman, that last night on the rooftop of the Art Museum? You looked up at me with those intoxicating blue eyes and you said, "We will always have Helsinki, Adam."

And we will. The rooftops, the tulip gardens, the dumpsters behind any number of Italian restaurants--and you, knitting your cute little paws off through it all. Those are cherished memories, my frisky feline nemesis--memories we can make again.

We will always have Helskinki.

Yes, Patwoman. Let us always have Helsinki.

Yours forever,


Monday, April 11, 2011

What Is It?

What is this? My cat wants to know. Are you curious too?

Is it a cat beret?

Achilles: (insert French laughter)Non, mon ami. Ce n'est pas un béret de chat!

Don't be impressed. He doesn't really speak French. He had to look that up.

Is it some kind of knit jellyfish?

No. And what a sad looking jellyfish that would make!

No. It's a clutch purse! Check it out!

Thursday, April 07, 2011

Does This Duck Make My DPNs Look Fat?

This is, like, the most awesome toy. It's a duck that reverses into a bunny. (Kinda like one of those Little Red Riding Hood to Grandma to Big Bad Wolf dolls that I always wanted when I was little.) I saw this pattern on Rav and went totally Crazy Town, imagining myself playing with this thing.

Patwoman: Look at my duck! What a lovely duck! Do you like my duck? Oh, but wait... Is it a duck? Why, no. No, in fact, it's a bunny! Yes, a bunny! Do you like my bunny? What a lovely bu-- I mean duck. Now it's a duck again!

Man. I can think of some terrific practical jokes to play with this thing. I can't wait to finish it.

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Do Robots Dream Of Electric Sleep?

Okay, that makes no sense. But I'm not feeling horribly creative tonight. Anyway, I just found out that the International Robot Exhibition in Japan was cancelled this year because of the earthquake/tsunami in Japan.

Don't misunderstand. Of course, there are other, way more terrible things that are a result of the disaster(s), but those things make me extremely sad and I don’t want to talk about them. I tend to be a little bit of a disaster junkie (maybe leftover from my journalist days?) and I have been watching the news relentlessly.

I’m struck by thoughts like: What about Japan’s elderly? What about the pets? What about the children left with no family? Who will take care of them? Who will know that they need taking care of?

I see mounds of debris and can’t stop thinking that it’s not just buildings and vehicles and trash, but that there are people and animals in there. I think about the workers who stayed at the nuclear power plants, trying to have some positive effect—they know they are getting eventually lethal doses of radiation and yet they are doing it. And why? Because if they don’t, who will save their families? Their friends? And I think about the survivors of Hiroshima/Nagasaki, who have to be very frightened by the thought of nuclear disaster. Are they suffering some form of PTSD on top of everything else?

I watched a very good show on Nova Sunday about the disaster. There were seismologists and other scientists explaining what had happened, and why this thing led to this result... It was so terrible to watch. But I kept watching for... something to go right. But it just doesn't ever seem to, does it?

These towns--completely wiped off the map--95% of the people gone... How horrible would it be to survive that? Everything you own... gone. Everyone you know... gone. Everything you know, your entire way of life... gone.

Almost without thought, my hands worked as I watched this heartbreaking footage... On the other side of the world, with no money, no political influence or economic power... What can I do for Japan?

I made this little robot, a symbol of my solidarity with the Japanese. I wish there was more I could do.

Saturday, April 02, 2011

Guess What I Got In The Mail Today?

I won't keep you in suspense any longer. Here it is:

Ha! Keep you in suspense... Get it?

So this came in the mail today. I almost threw it away without looking at it because I thought it was some of the junk mail I get for the movies I make. I always get stuff about editing equipment and DVD burners and lights and stuff. I thought this was something like, I don't know, cartoon animation...

But no. It's an invitation to a presentation about suspended animation services. You know, like Popsicle Patwoman. (Wait, I can do better. Come back to me.)

My first thought was "Ew." Not because of suspended animation, mind you. But because of the graphic on the cover. I just find the human nervous system a little gross to look at. I mean, I know it's there, but I don't want to look at it, right? It's like this. It comes in an XXL. Now, I know there are XXL guys out there who might wear this. But I don't really want to see it, get it? (And seriously, if it fits in that, I've got no use for it anyway.)

My next thought was... How did I get on this mailing list? But then, I realized that didn't matter. How did I get on so many penis-enlarging-pharmaceuticals mailing lists? How did I get entered into the UK lottery so many times? How does that Nigerian Prince know who I am? Nobody knows the answers to these questions. Trust me.

So I started looking at this brochure. (And no, there are no actual pictures of suspended bodies or frozen heads.) But the lineup of topics at this conference is actually pretty interesting.

There are seminars on long-term preservation of wealth, new techniques for rapid cooling, and nanotechnology. No mention of frozen heads. There is also discussion about the company's new (yet to be built) facility, which will focus on cryogenic research and also house the clientele the cryochambers. It's called The Timeship.

Now that's all well and good. And I like the vaguely Egyptian look it has (nice touch!). But if it's all the same to you, I prefer this timeship:

Friday, April 01, 2011

Friday FO!

Well, almost a FO. It still needs to be blocked and there are the two ends to weave in. But the knitting part is done.

This is the Multidirectional Diagonal Scarf by Karen Baumer. What a great pattern. It allows you to adjust width and length to your own tastes, and would work with just about any yarn/needle combo. Of course, I used Patons SWS in Natural Navy, because I really like the long color blocks this yarn gives. And I really liked this Natural Navy color.

I knitted this over the course of a few weeks. This is the project I work on when we play our weekly D&D game. Once you get the whole short-row pattern rhythm down, you don't even have to watch what you're doing any more. That works out well for gaming.

This will be a Christmas present for Jill. I'd like to do some matching mitts, too, but I haven't found the right one. Well, actually, these are pretty much exactly what I want. But I need to purchase the pattern and see if I have another skein of this SWS anywhere (because I'm pretty sure it was on closeout when I bought it) and also see if one skein is enough for a pair of mitts.

But, Christmas is like, what? Nine months away? I've got some time.

Free Counter