If you're not knitting, the terrorists win

(My mostly on-topic ramblings about knitting. And life in general. My life in specific.)

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Location: Indiana, United States

I'm a middle aged mother of 2 grown children and wife to a man who doesn't seem to mind my almost heroin-like yarn addiction. I spend my time writing, knitting, and generally stressing out.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Some Treasures From The Con

Totally forgot to show you these. Had to get this little ducky, because it looks like Achilles. Check it out. Of course M snagged it even before we got home.

This one is for my desk, of course.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Patwoman Returns From Origins

Back from Origins again. Had a good time, though I am pretty well exhausted and was wishing that I had requested Monday off from work, as well.

We ran “All Roads Lead To Perdition” this year. As you remember, it went extremely well at Gen Con last year. This year was even better. All the players did an excellent job and everyone had a good time. Once again, I was in the monster costume (which is hot, let me tell you, and covers me with black crap everywhere it touches me).

Some of our friends from Gamerz showed up and played and did a great job. I’d love to have all those guys play the new game at GenCon this year. That one will be called “Low Plains Drifter.” (Got a western thing going there.)

We did talk to some really great game designers and got to play some new games (T and I had a great time playing “Zombi Isle” with its creator, Josh. Played in about 30 minutes, easy to learn, and very competitive.

Also looking forward to Supernatural RPG release in July. (That’s the word from Jamie Chambers, who also showed me the printer’s copy of the book.) You know I loves me some Winchester Boys.

There were some things, though, that were a little disappointing. Firstly, attendance was down. Way down. Like, no line anywhere, any time. Even at the registration booth on any morning. Even at the line for generic tix.

Also, the registration system apparently screwed up a lot. (Of course this always happens, so no surprises this year, I guess.) The Origins website was down all day today as I tried to check to see how many attended, so I am left to my own estimations. I would say, maybe 10,000 people. Yeah, that’s still respectable, but it’s way down from what they usually do.

Some vendors were conspicuously absent, too. A very empty dealer room. Some had decided that other cons are more profitable. And some, I am told, have just gone under in this economy.

I stopped up at the knitting room, just to say hi, but almost everyone was gone on the LYS field trip. I also didn’t get the message about the Ravelry meetup until after it was over. And then, on top of that… I lost a dpn!!! (Apparently, it escaped through a hole in the bottom of the Starbucks bag I was using for a knitting bag.)

Still, I did have some fuzzy Yarn Bee Highland Thistle and some #13s, so I made a lovely drop-stitch scarf. In total, it took me about an hour and a half, including fringe. This color is called Tweed, btw. (I would've called it Red. But that's just me.)

And I did almost finish The Terror, by Dan Simmons. (Excellent book, btw. Reads very much like the beginning of Frankenstein, but not as boring. Has that ominous, supernatural feeling to it. Characters are very real. But 771 pages! Jeez.)

Oh, and one more thing I found interesting… We were on the 19th floor of the hotel and the windows were covered in spiders. SPIDERS! 19 floors up, in the wind and the rain. And not just one. I counted almost 20 on the bathroom window alone.

Is that normal?

Saturday, June 20, 2009

I'm Apparently A Caramel Latte

You Are a Caramel Latte

You often are feeling indulgent - and you go ahead and indulge yourself.

You are very creative. And you know you need to stimulate your senses to get your creative juices flowing.

You are a truly optimistic person. You see the best in yourself and in everyone else.

Your life can be a bit messy at times, but the most beautiful things come out of your chaos.

Patwoman's note: To my knowledge, I have never had a caramel latte.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Welcome To The Inner Workings Of My Mind

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Cause And Effect

So late this morning, when I went down to the coffee shop for coffee, the elevator was filled with the overpowering smell of cheap men’s cologne. (Not Axe, not Brut, not even Old Spice. I’m talking Hai Karate.) I actually thought… OMG, this is enough to make you hurl.

Of course, I avoided that elevator on the way back up.

At noon, when I went to lunch, that particular elevator was stopped and an out of order sign had been placed in front of its open doors. I looked in (because, I am ashamed to say, I wondered if there were an empty shaft there and a body below) and saw that the floor of the elevator car was covered in vom.


Sunday, June 14, 2009

Robots. You Know I Love ‘Em

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about robots. Maybe it’s seeing Terminator Salvation a couple weeks ago, or maybe it’s the way my vacuum cleaner seems to have a mind of its own. Or maybe it’s just some minor outrage at Roomba being inducted into the Robot Hall of Fame.

Don’t get me wrong, I think Roomba’s great. I’d like to have a Roomba that would do the dishes or clean the toilets, too. I just think that, as a robot, it’s about as sophisticated as those ChuggaChuggaTootTootDingDingChooChoo that went in a straight line until it bumped a wall and then it backed up and turned in a new direction. CCTTDDCC also played jaunty tunes while it bumped around.

Of course, I shouldn’t be too upset. This is the same group that inducted the Terminator T800, R2D2 and Data (Star Trek)—fictional robots—into its hallowed (?) halls, alongside the Mars Rovers and the DaVinci robot.

Surprisingly enough, some really practical robots have been overlooked, maybe because they are doing menial tasks,like preparing food, like this pancake-making robot. Or this sushi-making robot.

I’m both intrigued and repulsed by the human hand attachment.

And strangely attracted…

Saturday, June 13, 2009

The Japanese Love Torturing Cats

Check it out.

Don’t we all? Not torture torture, but clothes-wearing torture. Everybody loves that. And the cats? Yeah, they might protest a little, but they love it.

You remember:



GabGab loves clothing. Especially if she is the only cat wearing clothing.

Friday, June 12, 2009


My Knitting calendar has that entry today… SABLE. (Stash Acquisition Beyond Life Expectancy). Which, of course, we all have.

Love those acronyms. SEX and UFO and WIP. Those are all pretty useful ones for me. But I find that lately, I have need of other acronyms as well.

Whoa! Terrible! Frog! (When you’ve apparently missed a whole pattern repeat or skipped a row.)

So How’s It Turned? (For working with short rows.) This one can be repeated indefinitely, every time you hit a short row section. “SHIT! SHIT again! SHIT!”

Freakin’ Uncrossed Cable Knot (for complex Celtic-style braid patterns, during which you realize you forgot to cross a cable, or crossed it the wrong way).

Okay. That’s not really an acronym. It’s more of a knitting mantra for me.

Thursday, June 11, 2009


If you are a Digital Collaborator, you use information technology to work with and share your creations with others. You are enthusiastic about how ICTs help you connect with others and confident in your ability to manage digital devices and information. For you, the digital commons can be a camp, a lab, or a theater group – places to gather with others to develop something new.

Take the quiz.

Monday, June 08, 2009

Not Knitting—Bracelets

I forgot to show you these. During my knitting “slump” I made some bracelets. I was at Hobby Lobby, looking for some sort of inspiration, and they had all their beads and stuff 50% off, so I loaded up. Here’s what I’ve done.

I like them.

Hoosier Hills Fiber Festival

Why did I not take pictures when I was there? I don’t know what I was thinking. Anyway, I bribed R with fair food R accompanied me to the HHFF in Franklin this weekend. I hadn’t been before to HH or any other such festival, so I didn’t know what to expect.

You’ll remember that last year, it flooded and there was no way to get to the festival from where I was.

Of course I made some purchases, even though I told R “I’m not buying stuff if it’s too expensive.” But most of it was reasonable. Yeah, I’m sure there are those of you who would pay $60 a skein for some really nice wool, but that’s not me. So I touched that yarn, but bought within my price range.

Here’s what I got:

Of course, I immediately lost one of the four stitch markers. (That's why we can't have nice things around here.)

Saturday, June 06, 2009

Why I Knit

We were talking about the Farmer’s Market yesterday at work. (I still haven’t knit my market bag, what a slacker!) I mentioned that, in the past, some of the vendors had offered vegetable-dyed, hand spun yarn and that I might get some next time I went.

And that prompted the question, “Why do you knit?”

My first impulse (and the answer I gave) was “Why do you watch Dancing With The Stars? Why does he golf? Why does she bike? We just do what we enjoy, don’t we?”

And I do enjoy it. (Most of the time. Not when I’m ripping back several rows because I made a front crossed cable instead of a back crossed cable, or when I’ve somehow added/reduced the number of stitches in a round.)

And it produces a finished product, so it’s more like time spent doing something, rather than, say, golf, which is time you don’t get back. (Don't even get me started on golf.) And the finished product is useful, because it’s custom-made—whether it is for your own use or as a gift.

But what else? I’ve heard people say it relieves stress, or that the needle rhythm is therapeutic, or that the tactile sensation is calming. I’ve heard people say it hones math skills (but you know, if I didn’t knit, would I even need math skills?). I’ve heard a lot about art, etc.

I actually started to help me quit smoking. That was what? 27 years ago? I have knit at my parents’ hospital bedsides, while waiting up for children to get home, while in the car (Not driving, riding. I’m not that bad of a driver.), while watching TV, listening to books on tape, reading cookbooks and magazines, while on vacation…

Given the times that I knit, I guess you could extrapolate that at least part of the reason that I knit is that I’m just not good at sitting still.

Why do you knit?

Friday, June 05, 2009

I’m Tired Of Stupid Questions

And usually, mind you, I love stupid people (as long as they’re at least amusing). T and I disagree on this point.

You’ve seen that heinous time-sucking social site Facebook quiz… 5 People I’d Like To Punch In The Face, or its fraternal twin, 5 People I Hate. Almost everyone puts Stupid People in their 5. Stupid people, listen. I’m not hatin’. I actually like stupid people (like I said, of course, as long as they are amusing. Stupid boring people are something else entirely). I don’t like incompetent people. Or people who choose ignorance. And that’s where T & I disagree.

But, I digress.

As amusing as stupid people are (and don’t I love to see someone try and figure out which end of something to hold!), stupid questions are annoying. Here’s my Top 5 Stupid Questions:

1) ”Can I ask you a question?” I always say no, by the way, but then they always laugh and ask anyway. So what was the point in asking in the first place? Not politeness, since you’re not respecting my wishes after I say no.

2) Any question that just repeats what I just told you. For example, “I’m so tired today.” “Are you?” No, not really. I just said that because it’s Opposite Day. By the way, those jeans are very flattering on you.

3) “But how do you really feel?” When it’s used as a not-so-funny response to a harsh comment I’ve made. (This question is stupid because it could lead to violence. Against you. By me.)

4) “Is Pat there?” Look, I answer my work phone with my name. I answer my cell phone with my name. I answer our store’s phone with my name. You’ve got my name in the very first sentence. And you respond with “Is Pat there?” What? Some other Pat?

5) “Is this to go?” Dude, I just walked up to the counter by myself and ordered 6 Five Dollar Footlongs. What do you think?

Monday, June 01, 2009

Let's Just Say, Good Thing I'm Not A 1930s Wife


As a 1930s wife, I am
Very Poor (Failure)

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