I Kinda Miss Garter Stitch Now

Yeah, I know. It's crazy. But now I'm trying to knit stuff and I'm like "WTF? I have to look down at a pattern? What's up with that?"

And I knit something in stockinette and I was like, "Ew. It's so smooth!"

I have some kind of knitting Stockholm Syndrome, I think. (Please. Sob. Sob. Let me just knit every row. I'll be good. Sob. Sob.) I don't know how to break that. Maybe I need to just bust out some horribly complex lace pattern. And do it without a lifeline. Yeah. That will fix me.

No More Garter Stitch!

Or, "Hey, the Doctor Who Scarf is finished!"

Well, the knitting is done, at least. Here it is. It's long.

Longer than that.

Loooooooong!

I use a little method when I switch colors, where I trap the end yarn under the new working yarn and just lock it in as I knit. Takes a little while longer to do that than to just knit, but it saves time in the long run because you don't have to go back and weave in that end.

Of course, you have to remember to do that. Which I didn't about half of the time. So still a lot of ends to weave in.

This thing needs some fringe, of course, but hey. The knitting is done.

All Work And No Play Makes Patwoman...

Well, you know. Dull.

I've been working so much lately, and working in an isolated environment--which, you know I don't mind. The introvert functions well in a no-talk zone. But, sometimes it's too much of a good thing, right?

I think I maybe have nothing interesting to say to anyone these days. I find myself--when someone talks to me--talking about the weirdest stuff. And I can't help it. I hear myself, but I don't seem to be able to stop. I might be developing some sort of mental malfunction.

Of course, I talk to the cats and the dog constantly. And to myself. And to inanimate objects. ("Ow, my toe. Who put you there, chair?")But I really thought I only did that while I was alone. However, I said something to R yesterday about not having anyone to talk to except the cats and he said, "Uh-huh. I've heard some of those conversations."

I should probably get out more.

I Called It!

Yeah, so picking up stitches with a fuzzy yarn is not fun.

I'm using this Red Heart Symphony yarn because it matches so perfectly with the Wool Ease Chunky. And I'm using it double stranded, as the pattern calls for. (Coincidentally, the pattern calls for another yarn named Symphony, with the same type of fuzziness.) It seems to be a really good substitution.

But, you know, fuzzy yarn wants to stick to itself. So first of all, there's no coming out of the skein smoothly. You get big, small, and medium size wads of yarn. Usually, you can just shake out the strand, but sometimes... It's a little tricky.

Secondly, fuzzy yarn wants to stick to itself. So you really have to watch your working yarn to make sure you aren't knitting with three strands or four... Ask me how I know.

And thirdly, fuzzy yarn wants to stick to itself. So there's no fast knitting here.

Still, it's all garter stitch. So there's no pattern to worry about. And, it does look really good. And it's soft. And the fuzziness is a big plus on the leg of slippers. And, this yarn is a great match for the foot yarn.

It's got a good beat and you can dance to it, but I wouldn't want to use it for every project. So, I'm going to give this portion of the slipper an 85, Dick.

Feet Complete!

No, not speaking French there. I just finished the feet portion of the Moscow Slippers.

As I said, they're pretty easy to do, as long as you read the whole pattern before you start. The short rows are very simple and the only trick to doing them is keeping count of which row you do them on. (Ask me how I know.)

As in the Red Riding Slippers, this is going to have a bottom seam. But I feel confident in making a seam that doesn't feel like a seam, after doing the first slippers. Still, the bottom portion of this slipper is basically the same as the slippers your grandma made you, with the pompoms on top. (You know which slippers I'm talking about, right?) Only with these, the seam is on bottom instead of the top.

I honestly think it would work better to have the seam on top. You could shape the sides a little better and not worry about that bottom seam at all. (Because, of course, it would be on top.) You would still attach the leg in the same way.

The leg is knit back and forth on a circular needle, since you have to pick up stitches across the circular opening of the foot, once you seam it up. The leg yarn is fuzzy, so that may be a trick.

Stay tuned.

TV Commercials Interest Me Almost As Much As TV Shows

And not always in a good way. Like, have you seen the new Buick commercials?

-A couple looks out the window and comments on their neighbor's new car. They like it, but hey, don't the neighbors always get a Buick?

-A woman is on the phone, trying to find her friend who is in the parked car in front of her. "I'm in the Buick." She looks around at all the nice new cars. "Where?"

-A man shows his mom/grandma his new Buick. She sneers, "That's not a Buick."

In all of these instances, the message is "We don't suck any more." Is that the message they want to convey? (Maybe it is. If Buick really doesn't suck now, they probably should do something to get the word out.)

Wendy's does a variation on that theme. A woman sits down at the wrong table and starts eating Wendy's salad. When Wendy calls her on it, the woman says, "This is not Wendy's! Look at these ingredients!" (The subtext is, Wendy's would never make a quality salad.) That bothers me. But you know what bothers me more? This: I don't know where these two ladies are eating--looks like a fast food restaurant--but if it's Wendy's, wouldn't you expect that to be Wendy's food on the table? And if it's some other restaurant, it's pretty low-class (and against Health Code) for Wendy to bring her own salad in.

I just don't get the whole ad campaign. It's kind of like those "Under New Management" signs that you see sometimes. They always make me laugh. Why advertise new management unless the previous management was the problem. "Hey, we got rid of those jackasses and got new management that doesn't suck. Come back!"

Domino's Pizza seems to be trying that, with their "Failure IS an option" Campaign. Thanks, Domino's. You empower your employees and managers to suck. Hooray! That's why I order Papa John's.

FO: Red Riding Slippers

Red Riding Slippers are done! Hooray! This is actually the first of the Christmas Knitting.

As you can see, the new buttons look fabu on the side. (They don't actually button. The buttons are just for decoration.) Even if it was a little tricky to get them straight.

Some specs on these: I used Lion Brand Wool Ease Chunky in Redwood and size 8 needles. (The pattern calls for 10's, but that's where I get guage.) The pattern is Little Red Riding Slippers.

It's a pretty quick knit, really. I just took a long time of it because I was knitting 20 minutes here, 20 minutes there. The bottom seam didn't turn out to be a problem, as I thought it would. It was just a matter of making sure to get the very outside of the stitch in the seam so there wasn't a lot of bulk there.

I will say, read the pattern completely before you start. There's some of the "at the same time" shenanigans going on in the pattern. But if you read it, you'll be okay.

Buttons!

I just hate it when I don't have what I need here at home and I have to go to Joann to get it. I always end up buying more yarn that I don't need. I mean, really. This stash is just way out of hand. Way too much yarn.

Just kidding.

But I did go to Joann to get some buttons for the Red Riding Slippers. Joann has the best selection of buttons. A full aisle and most of another. I went in, looking for something like small wood toggles or possibly some leather-covered buttons. But then I saw these.


Not sure if you can tell from this picture, but they are a deep red-brown color. They go really well with this yarn, don't you think?

I'm going to sew them on tonight. Stay tuned.

Earth Day Projects

To be fair, I am not working on an Earth Day Project, myself. I just don't have the time to take on anything else. In the past, I've done some things, though. (Plarn projects, tarn knitting, I bought a composter.)

If I had the time, though, here's what I would do:

1. Rug made out of tarn that I am making from all those old t-shirts I've been culling out of the closet lately. I've been using the rug I made for the kitchen inside the front door, where it does way more good than in the kitchen. And it's a good rug. A really good rug. So I'd like to make another. And maybe another one for the kitchen. And one for the bathroom, too.

2. Plant something. I have pretty well resigned myself to the fact that I don't have time to do a garden for reals. But I would like to maybe plant a couple of containers of tomatoes. The house we were going to purchase (before the inspector gave us his report) had absolutely nothing in the back yard. It was a completely blank slate. Too bad we had to start over in the house hunt.

3. Make some felted projects from thrifted sweaters. I've got a box full of wool sweaters that are waiting to be made into purses, mittens, slippers, etc. Most of them have some nice cablework or colorwork, so I don't really want to unravel them.

4. Dye some reclaimed yarn. I also have some unravelled sweaters that are waiting to be dyed or overdyed. I enjoy the process and the finished product. I'd like to do some more of that.

What are you doing for Earth Day?

FO: Magic Ball Afghan!

I finished the scrap afghan. I didn't mean to. This was just my thing to knit when I couldn't work on my Christmas knitting. And it also used up a bunch of scraps. But it was just a lot of fun to knit. Look at it!

Yeah, it's pretty scrappy. There's all kinds of stuff in there--ladder yarn, fun fur, smooth acryllic, mohair-y textures, ribbon yarn, doubled sport yarn. I also didn't pay much attention to the color combos. But I did hold all the yarn together with a strand of navy blue acryllic. Check out the closeups:


It's an interesting afghan, to say the least. It is a little darker than these pictures would lead you to believe. I had to use the flash, and you know that makes the colors look weird. Someday, I hope to live in a house with overhead lighting. Sigh.

But now, my magic ball is no more. Not to worry, though. I still have plenty of scrap yarn.

Happy Easter!

It was a relaxing holiday for us at the Patwoman household. M had to work until 3, so we planned to have Easter dinner once she had a chance to get home and change out of her work clothes before coming over. Her bf was still working. And Bre was out of town with her folks, so it was just the four of us.

Just like old times.

All that time gave me some time to get fancy with dessert.

This is sloppier than I planned, but I had used a couple teaspoons of orange jello powder to flavor the frosting. It worked really well, flavor-wise (the rest of it, I put in the cake batter to make the cake moist) but my frosting tips kept clogging up. Eventually, I just switched to a medium star tip and just starred concentric circles around the top.

Oh well. It was really good. And really simple to make. I'm going to give you my personal recipe here:

Orange Dreamsicle Cake

One white cake mix (any brand, really)
4 egg whites
1 Cup water
1/2 Cup vegetable oil (I used Canola)
1 small (4 serving) pckg of orange Jello (minus about 2 teaspoons)
1 teaspoon orange extract

Mix all that together and bake in one round layer pan. If you have them, use those baking strips that you soak in water and wrap around the sides of the pan. That makes it bake evenly. But, even if you don't have those, it doesn't matter. We can trim the cake flat. (The bonus to doing that is that you'll have a chunk of cake that somebody will have to eat.)

So bake that cake at 350 until a toothpick comes out clean. You know the drill. Let it cool about 10 minutes and then turn it out to cool all the way on a rack.

Meanwhile, make the frosting. I make it this way.

One stick of not-flavored Crisco (or one cup, whichever you prefer)
About 4 Cups of Powdered sugar
The reserved 2 teaspoons of Jello
1 teaspoon orange extract
1 teaspoon powdered egg whites
Almost 1/4 Cup water (whatever it takes to get a really fluffy frostign)

Now beat those ingredients until they are fluffier than fluffy. You won't need any coloring because the Jello will do that for you. Once you have a cloud-like consistency, fill your frosting bag. I used a speed coupler so I can change tips often.

Once it's cool--and this is very important, if you don't want your cake to crumble, let it cool--use your torte saw or a sharp knife if you're skillful and cut this cake into two layers. You may notice mine are not perfectly even. And my top is not perfectly flat, either. My method is to just cover it up with a ton of frosting. It ain't according to Martha, but you know, Martha Stewart ain't wrecking this train. I am.

Now set aside that top layer for a minute. Put some kind of large opening tip on your bag--a round or a star, whatever, something the thickness of a pencil. Now pipe around the inside edge of that bottom layer. You are making a "dam" so the filling doesn't squish out the sides.

The filling is a small jar of orange marmalade. Use your favorite. Just spread it over that layer, inside the dam. Then put the top layer back on.

Then frost and decorate your cake with the rest of the frosting.

This cake is awesome. It tastes like a Dreamsicle. Or maybe like a Dreamsicle that you are eating at the same time you're eating those Orange Slice Jellies.


Yeah. Exactly like that.

You Had One Job, Frank

Yes, well I waited until the last minute to grocery shop for Easter again this year. It's not that I wanted more of challenge, I just ran out of time and had to shop on the day before the holiday.

But, at least it was worth a laugh.

In case you can't read them, these signs say "Artichokes" and "Mangoes."

Foot Seams

So, I've seamed the bottoms of the Red Riding Slippers. This is a bit of a trick, since I don't want the seam to be lumpy right on the bottom and I yet I still want it to look good. (Even though it's on the bottom of the foot.) So I grabbed the very outer edge of the stitch and seamed it up that way.

It looks ok, I think. Not bad looking at all. And you can't feel this seam at all when you're wearing the slipper. I tried it, and believe me I was really trying to feel it.

I seamed the other one up the same way.

Now they're looking more like slippers, right? Next I needed six buttons for the upper. Basically you make a tube of the leg and then sew it onto the bottom. So I searched my button stash.

Can you believe I don't have six matching red buttons? WTF? How is that even possible? Oh well. I guess I will have to make a trip to Joann's.

Darn it.

New UFO

And I don't want to hear about from you, okay? I know I still need to finish Red Riding Slippers. But I have all the knitting done. And I still have yarn. And I still want to knit.

Not seam.

So, I've cast on for a different pair of slippers. These are the Moscow Slippers, also from Drops. They are for Bre. Same yarn on the bottom, because I love this color. And because I have enough of this to do another pair of slippers. And because this color matches a ball of Symphony that I have for the upper part of this slipper.

Here's what I've done so far. Pretty straight forward, huh?

Well, not really. This pattern has more of the "do this and at the same time do this," just like the other one, so you've got to watch it. But if you read the pattern carefully before you start, you'll be fine. It's all garter stitch and the toe is made using short rows. Like simple short rows. Nothing fancy. The pattern even links to an instructional video, if you feel uncomfortable with it.

I didn't, so I trudged ahead and knit away at this while watching some crap on late-night tv. The thing is, as it is with any pattern, you need to pay attention to what row you are on. Like, if you just glance down at the pattern every now and then and you aren't really watching what you're doing, you might skip the part that says "Knit until 3/4 inch long" and jump ahead to a different part that says "Knit until 3 1/2 inches long."

You can see how that would cause a problem, right? Ask me how I know.

Is This Wrong?

My cats and dog are so spoiled. Whenever I get something to eat, they're always right there... Whatcha eatin', Humom?

I really have no one but myself to blame. It's because I "treat" them so much with people food. Yes, I know that's bad. And I know it's probably why Gabby is so pudgy and GenGen farts like a diesel truck. But they love it and I can't resist when they are being cute.

So today, I got this Tootsie Pop from the candy dish on top of the fridge. That's where I keep it. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Except I know where it is. So it's not really out of mind. It's just up high. But that's okay. I can always get a chair.

So I got this Tootsie Pop and by the time I got down from the chair and got it unwrapped, GenGen was jumping up and down like a dog much younger than she is. Me! Me! Me! And that, of course, got Achilles' attention. Because nobody gets anything unless he inspects it first, right? So I decided to share.

"Raspberry. Gross. No thanks."

"What is that? Smells terrible! No thanks."

"Me! I love raspberry! I don't even know what that is, but I'll eat it! Gimme!"

"We're sharing this, right?"

No, GenGen. That's all yours, now.

More Feets!

What an amazing feat that is, too!

Ha. I'm so witty. Feat. Sounds like feet. Get it? Yeah? Well then, why aren't you laughing, you humorless stone?!

Oh well. Here are the two bottom parts of the Red Riding Slippers. I still have not seamed the bottoms. You know I hate to do the finish work. Sigh. Okay. I will get to it.

Eventually.

The Top Of The Slipper

I finished knitting the top of the first Red Riding Slipper.

It's a nice deep double cable, bordered on each side by garter stitch. But, keep in mind, this will be sideways, once it's stitched to the slipper. So I think just that change in perspective is going to give it a completely different look.

I need to find some buttons for these.

Something Is Afoot!

This is!

It's a foot! A slipper foot. Get it?

Yeah, it's the foot portion of the Red Riding Slippers. Pretty spiffy, eh? Of course this needs a seam down the bottom--and that will be a trick, to make it seamed, but not have an uncomfortable ridge on the bottom of the foot, right? I feel like this might be a better pattern if the foot part was worked more like a toe-up sock.

Still, it's a very easy pattern, once you make sure you have read it correctly. (There is a lot of knit like this until the piece is this long, but at the same time, do this...) You've got to pay attention to that.

Ask me how I know.

Making Art

I love to shop with T. He genuinely enjoys himself. Maybe not so much the looking at yarn--although he has been known to point out a great deal or a new yarn. But he enjoys being with me and he makes the shopping trip better for me. (Not that a yarn shopping trip needs to be made any better! But hey, you put Cool Whip on pie, right? Same thing.)

So we're shopping. And T drops behind. Just for a second. Then he calls to me, "I'm creating art!"


Took me half a second to get it.

New UFO Started

I was just thinking that I didn't have enough on the needles. I mean, where's the challenge? So I decided to cast on another project.

Actually, this is for M and will go in the Christmas Knitting Box. It's Drops Design's Little Red Riding Slippers. Very cute boot-ish slippers with chunky cables and buttons.

The slipper part is worked on dpns, which are kind of a pain in the ass, but the upper part is done on straight needles. So that will kind of make up for it, I guess. (Until is comes time to sew the upper to the lower. Then I might not think it's so great, right?)

Still and all, it's bulky yarn, so it seems to be going pretty quickly. And it gives me the opportunity to mark the beginning of the round with one of the new stitch markers I made.

Stay tuned.

Yarn Organization

With just about a month left to go before we move to our new place, I am trying to think of a way to organize my yarn stash. Of course, the organization method I'm using right now is working just fine. It keeps all my yarn close at hand. But somehow, I don't think "Keeping It All Over The House" is the best organizational method for this move.

Sigh.

I'm thinking of getting a label gun (because everyone needs one of those anyway and how did I get to be this age without one, anyway?) and putting it all in plastic tubs and then labeling the outside (of course) but also the inside of the lid. That way I can call the outside "YARN," and the inside will be more specific: "LB Vanna Tangerine Mist - 2, Brick - 4, Charcoal - 6" or some such. Or maybe "WORSTED YARN" on the outside and all of that on the inside?

I am really a little worried about labelling so many tubs "YARN." It's going to make me look very bad.

If I Had A Hammer

Actually, I do have a hammer. And an anvil. And now I have some awesome metal stamps. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I've wanted to do some metal stamped jewelry for so long!

Stay tuned!

Scarf Progress

But it takes so much knitting! Wow!

What's funny, is that I made one of these when I hadn't been a knitter for very long. It's not hard. It's just garter stitch, after all. But I just don't remember it taking so long. And I have to think that I'm a much faster knitter now than I was then. Funny how time distorts age you get older, isn't it?

Anyway, I've been knitting away on the scarf when R is not home (and I can take a break from work) and on the afghan when he is here. There's quite a bit of progress on both. In fact, I am now keeping only the scarf and its yarn in the bag and keeping the afghan and its yarn on top of the bag.

Hopefully, I will finish this scarf (and probably the afghan)within the next week and I will move on to some small projects. Yeah, small. I need to get some easy wins to motivate me again.

If All The World's A Stage...

...And we are poor players, I think my play is called Arachnophobia.

Seriously. I checked the shower before getting in today, but there somehow was a spider on the ceiling by the time I'd shampoo'd my hair. And then Achilles caught another one near the doorway. And then, I found a teeny tiny one by the sink. And you know what they say about baby spiders, right? Today there's a baby spider by the sink...

...but there's also about a million more baby spiders eating the dessicated corpse of their mama spider somewhere nearby.

I washed it down the drain, but I am always so creeped out to do that. Does anybody remember that Night Gallery episode where the woman keeps washing the spider down the drain and it keeps coming back, bigger and bigger, until it's finally the size of the whole room? Yeah, I know. Even as a child watching this, I thought "Why doesn't she just get a shoe and smash it? I'd like to see it come back from that."

But anyway. I know--logically--that can't really happen, but that's always there in the back of my mind, every time I wash a spider down the drain. (Damn you, Rod Serling.)

They're all coming from the space between the walls, I'm sure. This is why you should never have a pocket door in your house, no matter how cool you think it is. Because that pocket, dear heart, is actually just the space in between the walls. And that space is spiderlicious.

Scarfing Along

Another Doctor Scarf update. Still not done. Still knitting along. I'm about 3/4 done now. And between this scarf and the Magic Ball Afghan, I'm juuuuuuust about done with garter stitch.

But, I have to say, garter stitch is about the best thing to be knitting when you're on Benadryl.

The Wonders Of Benadryl

My allergies are killing me. Killing me. Literally. Because if I can't breathe and I can't sleep, I will literally die. That's science.

I tried taking my Zyrtec, but I think the formula has been altered. Normally, I would take it and after about 3 doses, I'd be used to it. No drowsiness, no fuzziness. But lately, it just makes me sleepy. But, I have to take something, or else I can't breathe.

So, I've switched to Bendadryl. Bendadryl makes me fuzzy and sleepy for the first 3 doses. Then, it makes me jittery. Like really, really jittery. But I can breathe. And my face looks better because my eyes are not so swollen and dark from sinus pressure. And I can talk without my voice cracking.

The trick is to take 3 doses, skip one, then back to 3. That may be a bad thing to do. I think Benadryl also affects your judgment.

Ima Let You Finish, But Just Let Me Suspend My Animation

You know I'm a little creeped out by the idea of cryogenics, right? (Although, it makes for great science fiction stories!) I just don't like the idea of stopping time, even if it's just within my own body. Seems like there might be some awful payback for doing that. Like, you might be mentally compromised or just not emotionally equipped to handle the change.

I was reading (here)that the FDA has given the go-ahead for human trials for suspended animation. (Okay, they actually gave the go-ahead a couple of years ago, but it looks like this might actually go ahead now.) This is similar to how a patient is put in an artificial coma for doctors to work on.

When I read this, my first thought was "Space travel." Right? This is how humans will make the long journey through space to reach other planets. Suspended animation, a science fiction staple, is really the only viable choice for such travel. (Since we have yet to achieve FTL engine technology and lack the resources to build a "space ark.")

But then, I started thinking about the actual process. Human patients, who were on the verge of death, would have all of their bodily fluids replaced with cold saline and their body temperature would drop really low. There would be no brain activity, no heartbeat, no electrical activity that would indicate life.

The person would be dead, in other words. Hm. So basically, we're not so much suspending animation as we are re-animating a corpse. Well that's a cat of a different color, isn't it? Aren't we really talking about some kind of Flatliners scenario? Maybe we shouldn't do that?

Hm. Maybe this is how the Zombiepocalypse starts?

More Afghan Progress

I keep taking pictures of the afghan progress, but honestly, I think they all look the same. I'm not sure you can tell there's actually been any progress. So I'm just not going to post a picture this time. (It looks basically the same as the other pictures.)

But, trust me. It's grown. It's actually so bulky now that it's kind of a chore to get it in and out of the knitting bag. And this is the biggest project bag I have. (It's actually a carrier designed to carry a bunch of board games. So it's big.) I may have to finish it, just so I can have my bag back.

One thing that I've learned about this kind of project is: When you think you have enough yarn scraps to knit it, you probably don't. In fact, you probably have about half of what you need.

I think I could've done with another Magic Ball the size of the first. As it is, I've used the Magic Ball, another two balls the size of softballs, and a ball the size of a baseball. And I'd estimate that I'm about 3/4 of the way done. So I will be raiding the odds and ends of my yarn stash again.

Still, I recommend doing this to get rid of your bits and pieces. It looks great and it's very theraputic to just knit, knit, knit. Plus, if you're doing it during the winter months, you'll have a big squishy blanket covering your nap as you knit it. (Bonus!) I will have to hurry up with this, though. The weather is starting to change to Spring.

Made Another Necklace

I've been on a beading kick lately, I guess. Here's another necklace I did recently. This black bead is left over from a necklace I made last year. I only had the one bead left, so I decided to make it a focal point of the necklace.

The other beads are also leftover from previous projects. And this chain was just a bit of chain that I had laying around. I ended up with just a little bit of the chain left over. I didn't want to make the necklace too long, but I hate to waste stuff.

So I decided to utilize that bit of chain in a matching set of earrings.

Those larger beads are the same as the beads on the necklace, but I added some black seed beads just for scale.

I'm happy with this set. In fact, I'm wearing it now.