Now I Have You In My Clutches

Or just my clutch. And I guess you’re not really in my clutch, so much as you’re looking at it. Whatever. That was a good title.

So, after I finished knitting the Suede Bag, but before I seamed and lined it, I decided to utilize the remaining half skein of Suede by making a clutch. Plus, I had a small amount of this red satin that I thought would look really sharp as a liner.

This is about half a skein of Lion Brand Suede in Ecru. Knitted on #8’s for me, but you might want to use #10s. The cable in the middle is cabled on a different row than the outer cables. I thought it might make a more dramatic difference, but it really didn’t.

Other than that, it’s basically a rectangle, seamed up the sides, with a button clasp. Pattern, such as it is, is on a link at the side of the blog.

Monday Affirmation

Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so!"

Outside Of My Office Building

I forgot to show this to you before. I always thought it was terrible to see the naked statues outside covered in snow. I know they can’t feel it or anything. There’s just something wrong about seeing a nude form covered in ice.

So it was really cool on a couple of different levels to see them dress up for the Super Bowl. Like everyone else in this building, the nakies were wearing Colts jerseys. Of course they’re still contorted like that because it’s like 10 degrees here!

No, seriously. I know they can’t feel it.

Anyway, sometimes I see things that strike me as funny. Like this sign outside my building. Makes me laugh a little. I mean, it’s a 25 story building. Ice falling from 25 stories might do some damage. But what do people do when they read this little sign?

Stop and look up. That’s what makes it so funny.

Of course I don’t really want anyone to get hit on the head with falling ice. (Jordan from my office told me about someone who did get hit with falling ice and only her huge, hideous hat saved her. That’s not really funny.) But you’ve got to admit, stopping and looking up is just a little bit comedic.

It’s like when something has gone bad in the fridge and you say “Ew, this is rotten. Smell it.” There’s always somebody who will smell it. Ha!

Happy Birthday To R

R's birthday is today. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking How could Patwoman have an adult son? She's so young looking and vibrant. Has the world gone mad?

And, of course, you're right. I do look much too young to have an adult son.



We had dinner out at Don Pablos (and no dumbasses like last time!) and then came back for cake and presents. Lots of presents!




And check out this Tardis cake! M's boy, E made this. It's 4 layers, 2 chocolate, 2 vanilla, and covered in blue fondant. And detailed! What a shame to cut it.

But, you know. It is cake.



"Doctor, we know you're in there!" Says the Beholder.





I just can't help myself.

I Don't Wanna Talk About It

Obviously, I'm a little upset about the game yesterday. So I don't really want to talk about that.

What I do want to talk about is the halftime show. Now, let me say... I like The Who. And this is music from my g-g-generation, you know. But The Who have not had a hit since 1985.

Let me put that into perspective for you. Their last hit was before either of my kids were born. Before I graduated college. Again, love The Who, but seriously. What would be wrong with Black Eyed Peas? Or even Carrie Underwood (who did a good job on the National Anthem, I must say, even though I'm not a Carrie fan at all).

I guess the network and the NFL figured The Who was a safe choice. Roger Daltrey isn't likely to have a wardrobe malfunction, after all.(But seriously, if I were The Who, I'd be really pissed about that. Doesn't that go against everything they've ever stood for? They're safe?)

Ew. Just gave myself a visual on that wardrobe malfunction.

And Pete Townshend... Well, okay. He can still play. But remember when he used to flip that guitar up in the air and catch it? Remember when Roger Daltrey used to swing the mic around?

I don't know. It just seemed... old. It made me feel old. And even though the light show was spectacular, and Roger Daltrey didn't struggle too much with the vocals (I'm not criticizing... I'm just saying), and Pete Townshend did his signature windmills, when I tried to explain to someone today who The Who were are, I had to say "The guys that do the CSI theme songs."

Oh, and the commercials sucked. All except for Betty White, who is seventeen different kinds of awesome.

Crap! I’m Always On The Tail End Of Everything!

Apparently blogging is no longer cool. At least not with young people. What’s that? I’m not a young person you say? Somehow that hurts more than not being cool.

At any rate, I found the article interesting, at least. It blames/attributes the increased use of social networking sites like StalkerBook FaceBook to the decreased interest in long-form blogging. Which is funny, because although I like FaceBook, I really have trouble limiting my posts to that little 140 word box they give you. I mean, jeez, I’m three quarters of the way there right now! So, obviously, there’s no way I could Twitter. Besides, who wants to know that much about the minutia of my life?

Said the person who rambles on in every post…

But, unlike some people, I don’t ramble about everything. Do you have those friends?
“Jane Doe is rolling out of bed right now. Late for work again.”
“Jane Doe needs a shower before coffee.”
“Jane Doe has decided to have coffee before the shower.”
“Jane Doe can’t decide what to wear. So late for work!”

“Jane Doe hopes traffic will be okay, since she is late for work.”
Really, Jane. Maybe if you spent a little less time on FB you wouldn’t be so damned late?

True story… Jane once posted about sharting in her pants. TMI, Jane.

Not that I didn’t laugh my ass off about that, of course. But, then, I do have the sense of humor of a sixth grader.

Anyway, I have no plans to quit blogging. In case you were worried. Thought I should calm you down. I will just have to resign myself to not being cool.

Ah. Who am I kidding? I’m cool.

Knittus Interuptus

I just said it that way because it sounds dirty. Tee-hee.

Actually I am having a little trouble finishing. And before you say, But Patwoman, that's nothing new. You hardly ever finish anything, well... just shut up. Don't you think I know that?


This is just more of the same. I just keep getting distracted. Know what's sitting on the table beside my comfy chair? (Yes, I know it's not a table. It's actually a yarn bin. No need to mock me.) I have:

1) Bamboo Purse from Creative Knitting. Knitted, but not lined or seamed. Handles are with it, though. And I did buy some really great fabric to line it.

2) Purse of my own design. Knitted (and I wrote the pattern for it...if I can read my scribbles when I go back)but not seamed or lined. Bought some nice satiny fabric for that one.

3)Color block scarf. About 3 feet long. Who would've thought I wouldn't have enough yarn scraps to keep adding stripes? You know how that happens? You're making a scarf and you just knit until you run out of yarn. That's why there are no scraps.

4)Unbiased. Made from recycled sari silk. Honestly, I forgot that was even there. That's how long it's been since I've worked on it. It's made in four pieces. I've made three. I think I stopped because that silk is just brutal on the hands.

Hm. So three out of four of my UFOs (the ones that are in arm's reach of me right now, that is...) are purses. That's kind of funny, since I'm not really a purse person. I mean, I carry one, yeah. But I don't go crazy for them. I would never pay $500 for a purse like some people I know.

Oh, my notes are on that "table" too. Notes for purses, strangely. And some twisted Valentine's poetry that just came to me.

Where is my head?

Happy Monday!

Gravity is a harsh mistress.