Some People Are Just Wrong

@!#$%*& Vandals. Makes me laugh.

And The Matching Scarf

Same Cosetta yarn. This was a skein and what was left over from the hat, so like, 160 yards or so. I used a #10 1/2 needle (instead of the recommended size 13) because I'm a loose knitter. It was a good call because this turned out perfect, in terms of width and openness of the stitch. It's Misti Chunky Ribs & Ruffles Scarf from Ravelry, by the way.


It's pretty light and fluffy, even though it's a bulky yarn and even though it's basically wool. But it's also pretty warm. Notpatwoman was complaining about it before I even finished taking these pictures.



You know, chunky ribs are kind of my go-to pattern for men's scarves. But see here, this scarf is ruffed on the ends! Pretty!

Green Beret

Finished this beret, the Super-simple fast and easy chunky hand-knit beret! from Crazy Aunt Purl. Nice little knit. Works with a variety of yarns. I used some Sensations Cosetta. It's a wool blend (68% wool, 32% nylon) with a subtle color shift.

I used Cosetta Green, which is kind of a dusty, sagey green. It's got that little bit of nylon in it, I guess, to give pieces of it a little shine. It's not so scratchy as 100% wool, so that's a good thing. This comes in 127.9 yard skeins and I used about 3/4 of one for this hat.

This would've been a quicker knit, but my allergies have really kicked in this week and I've been eating Benadryl like it was cool. Consequently, my knitting (and everything else) skills have been a bit dull and I started this about 4 times before getting the gauge correct.

I Don’t Think I’ve Shared This With You

I always try to do something craft-wise whenever I go someplace. At Origins, I took a jewelry-making class and made some earrings and at Gencon, I made a glass pendant. I showed you the pendant, but I don’t think I’ve showed you the earrings.


Here are the earrings--well, one of them--butterflies! These are made from silver wire, using a clever knotting technique around the pegs of a jig. Pretty!


I met this guy one evening, when I had stopped in to the craft room to see if anyone was knitting. (only one person!) I asked him if he knitted or crocheted and he said he made knots. (Which is what I call knitting, sometimes… whoopah!) I thought at first he meant he did macramé. But it turns out what he does, is make knots. Turk’s Head Knots.

Fascinating stuff. He showed me some bracelets made with cord and twine and some really lovely rings made from gold, silver, or platinum wire. Beautiful, intricate-looking jewelry. He said he was teaching some classes on how to do the technique.

First, it’s both easier than it looks and harder. It’s very methodical, and I basically followed a chart of unders and overs to make these butterflies. Wrapped the wire around the pegs of the jig, attached earring wires (which he made, btw, out of the same silver wire—pulled taut to make it stiffer) and polished.


But, it’s that whole weaving over and under that's difficult. You’re working in a very small area, after all. And once you start getting a few wires in the same place… well, that’s when you’re apt to think of some very creative swear words. Take my word for it.

In that way, it’s very like knitting.

Just So You Know

A two-row pattern repeat is almost too much to manage when you are all hopped up on Benadryl and your eyes are all red and dilated with prescription allergy drops.

And the yarn feels funny as it slides across your fingers.

More Bitching About The Couch That Eats Knitting Needles

Look at it… Sitting there, so smug. I’m enormous, it says. I’m ancient. What hope do you and your puny craft implements have against one such as I? I am… The Couch That Eats Knitting Needles.

Seriously. Put a needle down for a second. Or drop it. It’s gone. Like magic. Dark, evil couch magic. That needle is just gone. Gone, baby, gone. Believe me, it’s happened more often than I can talk about.

Where are my #8 circulars? (Not the ones that are on the hat right now, any of the other 3 pairs.) Where is the other #2 14 incher? Where are all of these? I can’t tell you how tired I am of having to buy these things (even though they are less than a dollar for two and I got these 25% off of that). It’s the principle of the thing!

And yet, I continue to knit here.

Patwoman Sticks To Her Knitting

So, taking a mini break from writing (Six Gun Horror is being edited now, and may eventually need some more/different words, but is okay for now and we have an article in the works for D∞ Magazine, but other than that…) before beginning work on the next one. I haven’t been seriously knitting for a while (bouncing from one project to another, trying to create some patterns…) and so I thought it was high time I picked up the needles again.

It’s pretty firmly August, so I need to be serious about the Christmas knitting, for sure. Working on that scarf pattern for E, as I’ve already told you. That involves knit and crochet (whoopah!) and is looking pretty nice. I will post that pattern up here once I am finished and have some pix to show you.

I’ve also got a scarf for M on the needles, but I only work on that when she is out of the house. It’s got some colorwork in it, so it’s slow going. I’ve been averaging about 10 inches an evening, due to the constant cat on my lap and the extreme exhaustion I try to work through.

Balaclava for R is my own design, as well. It’s becoming something of a pain in the ass, due to the shaping involved and the fact that I am making it up as I go along. (Why did I not just use an already-written pattern?) This one will be either very spectacular or very lame. I don’t want to say too much about it—not because he will read this blog, pshft!, but because I don’t want your ridicule if it fails. I will tell you this much… I’ve already knitted the crown of the hat, but when I put it on Notpatwoman to see how it looked, I didn’t really like it. So I’ve ripped it out a few inches and need to decide how to proceed.

Speaking of Notpatwoman, kinda… I found this interesting. I came across the male version of her at Hobby Lobby. (Notpatwoman was born at Sally’s Beauty Supply and there were no guys there.) I thought that would be cool to have, just to model and size the guy stuff, like R’s hat. But get this, the female version is $5.99, but the male version is $9.99. Now why would the man cost more?

Yeah, never mind. I know why.

Patwoman Reviews the Indiana State Fair

First of all, if you are not here in Indianapolis, let me tell you what the weather is like… It is HOT AS BALLS.

Do you think that might affect fair attendance? Not according to the Indianapolis Star. But I drove past it on the way home from a Regional Staff Meeting on Wednesday, and it was a freaking ghost town. And then, yesterday after work, we decided to go to the fair. No traffic. None. No pedestrians to avoid hitting on FCPwy, no gridlock in front of the Pepsi Coliseum, and no parking out by the Indiana School for the Blind and walking two miles to the gate. Nope. Just drove right in and parked in the fair lot. Nobody was there.

Because it was hot.


But, that’s okay by me. You know I always go for the food, anyway. And look… there were actual empty tables this year! Of course I had to start off with the grilled corn. That way, I don’t feel so guilty. Corn is a vegetable, right? Healthy.


Followed that up with a corn dog. It has corn as half its name, so it’s at least half as healthy as the corn, the way I see it. Plus, I washed it down with a lemon shake up. That’s fruit. I didn’t go crazy on the fair food just yet, because well, it was hot and we decided to go inside some of the exhibit halls.


Curiously, the art exhibit (with all the oil paintings and photos and sculptures and such out in the open) did not have many Do Not Touch signs. So, that effectively deterred me from touching any of that. But then, I spotted this inlaid wood table…

Downstairs we looked at the decorated cakes. Here are some highlights:


I was a little weirded out to learn that these are not actually cakes, but Styrofoam blocks, covered in fondant. That seems a little like cheating, doesn’t it? Like those mannequins at the store, with their clothes pinned in back to make you think that outfit will look that good on you…

Back outside, it was hot. But we did see the daily parade pass. That was pretty cool. (Maybe you don’t think so, but I thought that giant remote control pig was worth the watch.)


Some food I chose not to eat:

Deep Fried Butter on a Stick (even though I’ve always said I totally would eat that) and Donut Burgers

And you know I don't eat pig




And you know, it’s state law that when you go to the State Fair, you must visit the animals. I like to make sure they all get petted.

You may have noticed I took more pictures at the fair than at Gencon. That may be because I was busy doing other stuff at Gencon, or because my phone battery died and I couldn’t take pictures. But I think it’s because the stuff at the fair is weirder.

Patwoman Reviews GenCon

You know it was a good one when it takes me half a week to get over it! Ha!

But seriously, folks, I love GenCon. I look forward to it all year and when it’s over, I grieve a little. It literally is The Best Four Days of Gaming (I feel like I need to capitalize and boldface that, if not add a trademark logo to the end).

One of the best things, of course, is the Exhibit Hall. I spent less time than usual there this year, but I still spent a lot of time there. Demo’d some games, checked out the Entrepreneur Alley, which seemed to me to be mostly crafty-type items. Of course, we all know there is a pretty solid relationship between gamers and crafters, but this was nice to see.

As we were looking at the D20 and Nintendo Controller-shaped soaps at one of these booths, a couple of guys came up.

Gamers: What are these?
Booth Person: Soap
Gamers: What are they?
Booth Person: They’re soap.
Gamers: (Blank stare)
Booth Person: For washing. Soap. You know.
Gamers: What are they?

Such a stereotype.

The XHall had a lot of cool stuff going on this year, like the Vampire Bar. They actually did serve alcohol here. I think it would’ve been cool if they only served red drinks—Bloody Mary’s and such, maybe even some True Blood with some sort of vodka kick. I don’t know. Maybe that’s what they did. I didn’t visit the Vampire Bar, because they were playing loud techno and really, there is only so much ngsst-ngsst-ngsst I can take.


One of the first things I saw in the XHall was the Tardis. And it actually is bigger on the inside! JK. I don’t know that. I don’t even think it’s a real Tardis. I mean, what would the Tardis be doing at Gencon?

He said he was from GenCon security and asked if I’d seen anything out of the ordinary. No reason. Just asking.



T found a friend at our friend Skirmisher Publishing’s booth. And I had to
mug a little with this guy at the Yu-Gi-Oh! booth. (Although, after I saw how my arms looked in the photo—Grandma! What are you doing at GenCon?!—I decided not to appear in any other photos. You’re welcome.)


I was also delighted to find this Beholder guarding the upper floor of the Convention Center. You know how I love beholders. WOTC always has some great stuff. The Serra Angel from last year was back, in the TCG room, and there was also a great dragon that I just never got around to taking a picture of. (Slacker.)


I did do some seminars, including a glass frit workshop, where we made these cool Tree of Life pendants. Glass frit, in case you didn’t know, is crushed glass. I had never worked in that kind of medium, so it was a learning experience. M and I worked side by side. Curiously, even though everyone was making a Tree of Life pendant, using the same instruction, M and I made very different Trees. The ladies who ran the workshop said that they would fire the glass and get them into the mail by Wednesday (today), so I should have the finished product soon. Excited!

Know what else was weird? I didn’t go to any of the knitting things. Of course you know that one knitting seminar person last year left a bad taste in my mouth, but I didn’t even go to the open crafting room this year. I was really pretty busy the whole time and didn’t even knit at all except one night, playing Magic the Gathering.

It was late and I wasn’t playing right at that moment, so I whipped out the yarn and needles I’d been carrying all Con with the intent of making some sort of hat. I remember casting on and I must have knit about a round and a half… before falling asleep at the game table!