What Is Up With That?

Okay, so I go to look at my blog this morning, because I wanted to have an excuse not to work tell you all about the cool things I've been knitting lately.

But when I get here, it's all fracked up! Dude, where's my blog?

Can you see this? Or is it just me?

Bam! More Knitting!

And you're shocked, I can tell. Well, pick yourself up off the floor. I didn't use yarn from my stash or anything crazy like that.

It's my new Knitted Beaded Bracelet. I got the idea from Lady Spankington on Craftster (here). This is a pretty crappy picture, but it was the best my camera was willing to do. I'd suggest hitting the link and looking at Lady Spank's bracelet, if you want to get a good idea of what it looks like.

But let me tell you, at first I was skeptical. You practically have to knit the whole bracelet before you start losing that "Oh my God, is it supposed to look so crappy" feeling.

Seriously, I kept holding it up and going... "Um..." But I stuck with it (which was not all that long, but the wire is kinda bitey and I hate to knit with wood sticks, and... oh well). And, in the end it paid off. I think this looks pretty fabu. So thanks, Lady Spanks, for the inspiration.

Stats: I used #28 beading wire and some cheapo chopsticks from the local Chinese buffet. I couldn't bear to gouge up my own needles with wire, so I just sharpened the ends of the chopsticks with a pencil sharpener. (Didn't even sand them, because I thought it would be pretty unlikely they would snag the wire.) And I strung about 200 assorted glass beads (in no particular order) onto the wire, though I probably only used less than half of those. The clasp is from a bag o' clasps I got at Michael's tonight.

Because I was already there getting wire and beads. It's not like I was buying yarn or anything. Come on!

Anyway, I've still got a bunch of beading wire and tons of beads. (Everything's cheaper when you buy in bulk, right?) What should I do next? I'm thinking Patwoman needs a beaded mesh bikini.

Just kidding. You people are sick.

I Can Already Tell Where This Is Going To Lead

Okay. So you know I always go to Nerdvana every year, right? (Yes, I am a gamer nerd. Are you so surprised?) So I was really excited to see that the 2006 Media Guests of Honor have been announced.

Here's the one I'm particularly interested in.

Kevin Sorbo. Yes, I know he's done other things beyond Hercules. But he was shirtless in Hercules. You see my logic here?

Shirtless men win out over story content. (Oh, did I mention I watched Troy again the other night?)

I am already revving up the digital camera for my photo op with Kevin--which will, of course, be featured here. I know you all join me in hoping I can control myself and not turn this into another Beastmaster fiasco.

(Would it be rude of me to ask Kevin to take his shirt off?)

I Know What You're Thinking...

... A FINISHED OBJECT????

Yes, that's right! Slap my ass and call me Sally! I finished something! It's the Aqua Tank. I punked out on the tank part, because of the whole bra strap issue, and because I wanted something that didn't look all hootchie when I took off my jacket. So, may I present The Aqua Shell.

Made from about 3 1/2 balls of Dollar Tree "Confetti" yarn at a 5st=1" guage, with my own pattern. The neck started out as your basic u-neck, but I left the stitches live around the edge so I could add the floppy funnel neck. (You know how I hate to pick up stitches.)

The texture is somewhat crunchy, but softer than you might think. It actually prompted some people to ask me if they could touch. Ha!

I wore it to work on Friday (with khakis and a jacket) and then out later (with jeans) and got quite a few compliments. Blamey tried it on and it looked great over her black tank and black pants. Very clubby. It's all Stockingette Stitch, you know, but the yarn really adds texture.

The main issue I have with this top is that it molds itself to you. Not really in a good way, either. Like, when I took it off and handed it to Blamey, it still had my shape. Of course, once she put it on, it took her shape. But, you know.

Hopefully there will be more FO's to come. However, I picked up the Ribbon Top the other night and noticed I had dropped a stitch... somewhere.

@#!@#$^&@*!!!

Ah well. If I can't find it, you probably won't either. I will just mess around with it until it works.

My Yarn Is Calling Me

Did I mention a bunch of people came over this weekend to view M's movie? So I picked up the living room ejust nough that people wouldn't think badly of me. And, in doing so, I had to move all the yarn that I have next to my chair. (That's my handy yarn.)

Would you believe there was a laundry basket full?

Some of this stuff I was like, "Oh, that's cool. When did I get this?" It was like frackin' Christmas.

Of course, all the UFOs were there, too, giving me the stink eye. Accusing. When will you finish us, Pat?

You know I can't, though. If I were to actually finish my UFO pile or get rid of some of my stash or even stop adding to my stash on a weekly basis, T would probably have a heart attack from the shock.

You see, honey? I'm only thinking of you.

So Where Was I?

Oh yeah, I was talking about how I was not getting much of a chance to knit and it's bringing me down a bit.

I know. I know. You all think I'm a big slacker for not posting a blog entry in the last mumblemumble days. But I'm not. I've actually been pretty busy.

For one thing, we just viewed M's latest movie this weekend. It's already played in the Chicago viewing area, but this is the first I've seen beyond the occasional daily.

M is a werewolf in this one. Here she is in an action sequence. You can't really see all the wolfiness in this shot, but you can in other parts of the movie. There's a nice "transformation" scene, done a'la I Was A Teenage Werewolf.

But I have also been writing. (Just not the here's-my-Adam-West-fantasy kind of writing.) Actual writing. With a beginning, middle, and an end. I don't know if you can tell it here, but I don't usually know where I'm going to end up when I start writing a blog entry.

Be kind.

I did finish all the knitting on the Aqua Tank, btw. But it needs the sides seamed. And now I'm not so in love with the floppy neck. I'll try it on and do some pix for you. Then you can tell me what you think.

And I am almost (so close I can taste it... and it tastes like cotton yarn) finished with Isabeau. I really would like to finish that this week. I want to start carrying it. It really is a pretty cute little purse.

Oh, and I'm trying to do some booties for a baby that will be here soon. But I keep finding fault with what I'm doing and then ripping it out. !@#$%@#!! Size 2 needles!!

Hokay. So we are all caught up now. I promise this week I will be better about staying in touch.

Celebrity Watch Part 2

I was so excited, I had to rush home and share this with you... Well okay, I didn't really have to rush home to share with you, but they were closing, so they made me go home.

Guess who I just met?

Michael Madsen. Mr. Blonde. He was at the Hollywood Bar & Filmworks doing an autograph thing because they were screening "Reservoir Dogs," Tarantino's best film hands down. Anyway, I had to go see him because that ear scene is, like, the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life. I can't even hear that song without seeing Michael Madsen's face!

He was very gracious. Such a nice man. Posed for pictures. Signed all my stuff. Answered my dumb questions. Allowed me to be generally stupid. (And drunk. I'd had a couple of Bahama Mamas during the movie.)

He said he didn't do much to prepare for the ear scene. He said, he was given the parameters for the frame and just "went with it and hoped it would work." How is that for understatement?

Some random thoughts: Michael Madsen is tall. I'm five feet tall, and wearting 2 1/2 inch heels standing next to him. So, I guess that makes him about 6'2" or 6' 3". He's also thinner than I'd imagined. He's very thin. And he had his son with him, which I thought was pretty cool. And, his face and his voice is exactly like it is in the movies. I found that very interesting.

No, I didn't hit him up for a role in one of my movies. I was tempted, but I hadn't had enough to drink yet to cushion the rejection that would ultimately come. I am still working on Adam West, though. Stay tuned.

Knitting content: None, again. But I've had 3 Bahama Mamas, so I might just pick up the needles and see what happens. Provided I don't pierce my septum with a #10, it might be very interesting indeed.

Celebrity Watch

I love celebrities. I'm such a hick about it, too. Years ago, when I worked for a tv station, we did a music video/interview show and whoever was in town to do a concert would stop by and give us some face time.

I would slit others throats to work on that show.

Seriously. I go to great lengths to meet celebs. Over the years, I have been known to ask the dumbest questions (Like I asked Ari Luyendyk if he'd ever gotten a speeding ticket. He said no, but somehow I doubt that.) Some of you may know how absolutely stupid I got talking to Beastmaster last year. Oh, and of course... Adam West. But enough about that.

Many years ago, T and I made up the game, Celebrity Watch. The rules are pretty simple. You get one point for each celebrity look-alike you spot (verified by the other person, of course). You get an additional point if the person is currently in the news (or has a CD on the charts, or whatever).

You lose 2 points if the celebrity you spot is the actual celebrity.

So, obviously, we couldn't play this past weekend, when all the celebs were in town for the race--John Travolta, Luke Perry, Kato Kaelen, David Letterman, Kid Rock, that Dr. from Grey's Anatomy, lots of music biz people, I can't remember everyone.

But now things are back to normal. I use normal as a relative term. This week, I had an interview with Michael Clarke Duncan, I saw David Spade waiting for a bus, and (this is my absolute fav) today on the way home from work, I saw Fabio riding a bicycle through the skeezy part of town.

Picture it. Fabio. Black dress pants. White shirt opened to the waist. Long blond hair flowing behind him as he pedaled along the sidewalk.

I'm either going crazy or... Wait. There's really no other explanation, is there?

A Visit, A Gift, A Project

My friend P visited me this past weekend. We've known each other since we were in fifth grade. (So you can imagine the immature inside jokes we share.)

Apparently, we both felt it was a good idea to shut our eyes against the flash.

We had a good time, lauging and talking about... I don't know. Just stuff. After P left, M says "That was kind of weird, the way you guys just finish each other sentences. "

P: Hey, remember that one guy...
Patwoman: ...OMG, yeah! And that one time when he...
P: That was so funny!
Patwoman: Still cracks me up!

Despite the long weekend, I still didn't get much done by way of knitting. (I didn't slack the whole weekend. I actually did some writing.) I did finish the Aqua Tank, though, all except the collar, which I plan to do tonight if I can find something decent to watch on TV while I knit. (Watched Deuce Bigelow 2 the other night. So bad. So. Bad. I don't want to make that mistake again.)

I've also been thinking about a new project. A quickie.

I got this for Mother's Day this year. It's the faceplate to my stereo in the Patmobile. (For those of you who don't know, my standing deal is that, if I like the Mom's Day gift, I stay for another year. If not, I'm a free agent, baby.)

This is pretty cool, because you know music is about the only thing that calms the road rage beast these days. But I don't like putting "Facey" in my purse. Too many Weapons of Mass Destruction in my purse.

So I want to make a little Facey Cozy. I'm thinking, with the Bat Symbol on it. Observe, Patwoman's ultimate triumph:

Patwoman: After all this time, Batman, you've finally succumb to my Patness.
Batman: Curse you, Patwoman! I must resist your silky knitted hats, your cuddly knitted sweaters, your clever knitted mittens...
Patwoman: No one can, Batman. Not even you.
Batman: Must.. reach... utility... belt... Bat...crochet... hook...
Patwoman: (Takes Facey Cozy from her purse and slides the faceplate out of its clever little hideaway) What were you saying, Adam?
Batwoman: (Heaves a sigh of adoration) Patwoman, you're my hero!